(no subject)
Dear annoying roomie,
I'm going to make a simple list for you. Hopefully you can comprehend.
1. It is VERY annoying when you eat all my food and I'm not allowed to touch yours. It is even more annoying when you use all my shit to make goodies for your boyfriend, and I'm not allowed to eat any. Stop giving him my containers and my tools!
2. I am NOT the cleanest person. But. The floor does NOT need to be vacuumed every night, nor do dishes have to be washed immediately after eating.
3. The unopened water bottle that sits on MY desk with, oh, WATER, in it should NOT annoy you.
4. You moved out of a $1300 apartment because you wanted to go home. You dropped out of this semester, leaving me to pay utilities and cable by myself. Granted, you did pay your half until I found a new roommate.
5. It is very annoying when you "drop in" unannounced, turn the heat way up, and bitch I only have beer and water in the fridge. YOU DO NOT LIVE HERE OR PAY FOR HEAT, AND I COME FROM A COLD PLACE, SO I LIKE THE COLD. AND I LIKE BEER. SO SUE ME.
6. You do not like animals. I like animals. So I waited until you left to bring my cat. And yet you're still annoyed about my cat, and YOU DO NOT LIVE HERE.
7. Okay, seriously, YOU DO NOT LIVE HERE. You don't have a right to bitch when you drop in UNANNOUNCED to bitch that my boyfriend is taking a nap IN MYYYY BED.
8. Stop leaving your clothes on the bathroom floor. Seriously, it's fucking annoying.
9. Contrary to popular belief, I DO STUDY. I AM NOT YOU. I happen to be relatively smart, and study in my major's library, quite often.
10. Listen, I understand that your mother recently passed away, and it was unexpected. Trust me, I understand. So stop telling your friends I don't. At least you didn't have to see it. I DO understand, because I've seen my own father die. So don't pull the "no1 understandz meee" shit. I DO understand, I KNOW what it's like, I'VE DEALT with it. I SAW him die. So please, lay off the fucking "woe is me". Woe is everyone, and I don't care if I'm cold, I don't appreciate you telling your friends I "try to understand her situation but can't". I understand more than your rich PradaVuitton girlfriends do.
11. Stop saying I'm lucky to have money. I was lucky enough to have my dad DIE and leave me money. I'd trade it anytime to get him back, don't you worry. I'd cut off my left leg, too. Also, don't bitch that you worked 60 hours in two weeks. I work 80 hours a week EVERY week during the summer, doing two jobs. Up at 7am, in bed at 1am. IN A FACTORY. I have money because I work my ass off. ALSO, if you want money, YOU DO NOT NEED TO BUY A TRIP TO IRELAND AND CARIBBEAN, FRONT ROW SEATS TO SEE NOTRE DAME, TICKETS TO SEE THE NEW YORK GIANTS AND YANKEES, AND TWO PAIRS OF UGGS.
12. Okay, this is seriously not cool. You decided NOT to tell me you were MOVING BACK IN. YOU CANNOT MOVE BACK IN WHEN MY NEW ROOMMATE IS MOVING IN. I DON'T CARE IF YOU STILL "OWN" HALF THE APARTMENT, I REFUSE TO LIVE WITH YOU AGAIN. YOU CANNOT KICK MY NEW ROOMMATE OUT (who's parents live in MICHIGAN and we're in PHILADELPHIA) BECAUSE YOU'RE A BITCH. I WILL move out, and take all my shit. So you will NOT have furniture, television, or internet. So let's make this easy, and you STAY out.
No love EVER,
Me
PS: Drunk girls are NOT attractive. You being drunk and puking is rather disgusting by my standards.
PPS: Stop tanning. You're a white girl, and people confuse you for mulatto. And you're getting sun spots.
I'm going to make a simple list for you. Hopefully you can comprehend.
1. It is VERY annoying when you eat all my food and I'm not allowed to touch yours. It is even more annoying when you use all my shit to make goodies for your boyfriend, and I'm not allowed to eat any. Stop giving him my containers and my tools!
2. I am NOT the cleanest person. But. The floor does NOT need to be vacuumed every night, nor do dishes have to be washed immediately after eating.
3. The unopened water bottle that sits on MY desk with, oh, WATER, in it should NOT annoy you.
4. You moved out of a $1300 apartment because you wanted to go home. You dropped out of this semester, leaving me to pay utilities and cable by myself. Granted, you did pay your half until I found a new roommate.
5. It is very annoying when you "drop in" unannounced, turn the heat way up, and bitch I only have beer and water in the fridge. YOU DO NOT LIVE HERE OR PAY FOR HEAT, AND I COME FROM A COLD PLACE, SO I LIKE THE COLD. AND I LIKE BEER. SO SUE ME.
6. You do not like animals. I like animals. So I waited until you left to bring my cat. And yet you're still annoyed about my cat, and YOU DO NOT LIVE HERE.
7. Okay, seriously, YOU DO NOT LIVE HERE. You don't have a right to bitch when you drop in UNANNOUNCED to bitch that my boyfriend is taking a nap IN MYYYY BED.
8. Stop leaving your clothes on the bathroom floor. Seriously, it's fucking annoying.
9. Contrary to popular belief, I DO STUDY. I AM NOT YOU. I happen to be relatively smart, and study in my major's library, quite often.
10. Listen, I understand that your mother recently passed away, and it was unexpected. Trust me, I understand. So stop telling your friends I don't. At least you didn't have to see it. I DO understand, because I've seen my own father die. So don't pull the "no1 understandz meee" shit. I DO understand, I KNOW what it's like, I'VE DEALT with it. I SAW him die. So please, lay off the fucking "woe is me". Woe is everyone, and I don't care if I'm cold, I don't appreciate you telling your friends I "try to understand her situation but can't". I understand more than your rich PradaVuitton girlfriends do.
11. Stop saying I'm lucky to have money. I was lucky enough to have my dad DIE and leave me money. I'd trade it anytime to get him back, don't you worry. I'd cut off my left leg, too. Also, don't bitch that you worked 60 hours in two weeks. I work 80 hours a week EVERY week during the summer, doing two jobs. Up at 7am, in bed at 1am. IN A FACTORY. I have money because I work my ass off. ALSO, if you want money, YOU DO NOT NEED TO BUY A TRIP TO IRELAND AND CARIBBEAN, FRONT ROW SEATS TO SEE NOTRE DAME, TICKETS TO SEE THE NEW YORK GIANTS AND YANKEES, AND TWO PAIRS OF UGGS.
12. Okay, this is seriously not cool. You decided NOT to tell me you were MOVING BACK IN. YOU CANNOT MOVE BACK IN WHEN MY NEW ROOMMATE IS MOVING IN. I DON'T CARE IF YOU STILL "OWN" HALF THE APARTMENT, I REFUSE TO LIVE WITH YOU AGAIN. YOU CANNOT KICK MY NEW ROOMMATE OUT (who's parents live in MICHIGAN and we're in PHILADELPHIA) BECAUSE YOU'RE A BITCH. I WILL move out, and take all my shit. So you will NOT have furniture, television, or internet. So let's make this easy, and you STAY out.
No love EVER,
Me
PS: Drunk girls are NOT attractive. You being drunk and puking is rather disgusting by my standards.
PPS: Stop tanning. You're a white girl, and people confuse you for mulatto. And you're getting sun spots.