It was a slip back into worn skin, a pull to habits long since adjusted, and nothing in him had wanted sleep. He woke at the end of their nightly transition, staying awake until someone had thought it fit to pull him away
( ... )
There was another presence in the room, as telling as the undercurrent of taint. Nigredo turned his head and found violet eyes staring back, and a part of him paused. Felt the touch of lips and wondered if he was still dreaming. Harsher movements registered in his system, but the boy merely smiled as he fell back into the other's lap. Without another word, he pressed his cheek to Albedo's stomach and exhaled.
If there existed something to say, it wouldn't be the events of last night. That was held to the background, left for a more lucid time. Instead, Nigredo would offer something close to a renewal. A beginning.
And the response to Albedo's act? His near declaration of possessiveness and protectiveness both? He expected complaints, whining, annoyance--eyes in slits and emotions behind a screen. For that was Nigredo, and that was what had come before. Still, Albedo did it, for the simple fact that he wanted to. Like much else in his history, past, present, and future, Albedo moved to planning and whims both, weight even on both scales.
And yet, here, in response to a whim, there existed reciprocation. The light press of Nigredo's head into his stomach, a smile on the youngest's lips. Albedo would be forgiven for his shock, for the beat of delay while he stared downward.
...The moment passed, and Albedo only draped an arm over his brother's stomach, mindful of the wound on Nigredo's chest. He wouldn't have tested, this would have graced enough, but he hadn't been rejected. Not yet. "Good morning," he murmured lightly. "How are you feeling?"
He hadn't seen the shock held in the other's face. If he had, Nigredo likely would not have minded as he might have on another day. His mind was traversing through strange lands, and he could not recall a time he had felt so much at ease. It was false, and it would fade in hours. For now, he would continue without complaint.
{I feel weird,} replied Nigredo, who closed his eyes and sighed into cloth. {Like my head's spinning even though I'm still. It is really nice.} Like grass and a cool breeze.
{I think they gave me too much in painkillers,} came the conclusion, almost given as an afterthought. Whatever they had provided, he thought, they should do so again.
...Right. Darling little brother dear, the medicinal drug fiend. Albedo's eyes canted to the side. His own experiences with the institute's medicine was a far different experience. Better not touch on that now. It would ruin the baby's high. Which Nigredo seemed far too contently ecstatic to be taking part in. My, my. Who would ever have thought the youngest to be a hedonist?~
"So I see," came the murmur, dry and amused. His fingers shifted against Nigredo, fingers seeking a spot he used to know well. They moved gently against skin, and Albedo quirked his mouth. "In a fine mood now, are we?"
Nigredo sadly mistook amusement for approval. Why his brother would consent to a drug overdose never touched the brain. He merely passed into a pleasant haze, dropping his smile for a lack in effort. A part of him was tempted to sleep away the time. There existed sunlight overhead and a warm body beneath him. It would be a waste to let that go.
As his consciousness started fade, however, his body jerked against a foreign sensation. The child stuck to ignorance, attributing the prickling of nerves as a fluke of a drugged mind.
And there was a darling little brother curled against him. Who seemed to want nothing more than to sleep off that nice chemical concoction in Albedo's lap. It... warmed him, and he would not say that. It was adorable, and he wouldn't act against that. That Nigredo was comfortable, drugged or not, to do so was comforting. Though the last time Nigredo had done so had been....
Albedo frowned suddenly, then shifted his expression to affection, tickling the place quickly before relenting. {Nigredo,} he sent in a wonder, mind in a repeat of nearly two weeks prior. {Would you trust me to watch over you while you rest?}
Or like before, would his brother only be resigned to his fate, apathetic to his own end?
Laughter broke out before proper control could be conducted, and Nigredo slipped for a couple of seconds, stomach muscles contracting in response. The sensation was nostalgic, older than weeks. Perhaps months if he counted. If not for the chemicals, the thought alone might have sobered him. As he was, he had difficulty stifling his reaction. The child curled against Albedo and made a face, aimed at the obvious culprit.
Who in turn asked something he suddenly couldn't name. Nigredo blinked as he transitioned into understanding, sobered as he reached it. The question sounded sad--so, too, the memory--and the younger stretched his lips in an attempt to encourage.
The laughing was something more lighthearted than Albedo could name, and for a moment, memories rang clear, what he couldn't remember from before aligning with the moment now. Nigredo wiggled and curled, and reacted as if he were only one child with another. It froze something inside of Albedo, melted something, and he wanted to do that again--cause his brother to laugh, make him make faces. He knew that this was likely only chemicals in action, but....
No, people could not help what they wanted.
Nigredo sent, and there was a reaction like heat in his stomach, a twisting inside of his chest, and something eased inside of the boy. Something slid into place fluidly, and all facades slipped away. Albedo inhaled, something burning against his eyes, and curled over Nigredo, a finger going to his brother's chin to tilt his face upwards. Lips touched and held, then Albedo moved back slightly. "I love you," he gave, and his voice was thick with emotion as he stared down. "Don't forget that."
His brother pressed lips to his own, soft and warm and melting. Despite the joy flowing through his blood, Nigredo sobered. Felt the gravity of affections and briefly touched melancholy, his mouth pulling into a line. Don't forget, Albedo would say. It wasn't as if he had forgotten so much as never believed. Took in doubts more so than what was given.
The child looked up, shifting far enough to offer solemn green eyes. They held neither pain nor misery--only consideration and a wistful gaze. It was a product of a lonely soul losing solitude and found trouble grasping the magnitude.
Finally, though motionless, warmth slid beneath his eyes, sobriety turning to peace. {I don't think I will anymore,} he sent. {I believe you.}
It was like a weight lifted. Something he had been bothered by for over a week now, ever since he had spoken words in a wave of emotion and gained only tears and denial for the fact. It was more the first sentence than the second--Nigredo had spoken the latter before and reneged later--an honest contemplation given in all its entirely. I don't think I will anymore. He could only stare. Saying nothing at all because if he opened his lips he would end up saying everything. Nigredo had given him what he needed. The acceptance and reciprocation of a love that was necessary. And Albedo....
His eyes burned, and he shut them against the tears that threatened entirely, lowering again to press his head against Nigredo's own. "...Stop sending, stupid," he whispered hoarsely. "You're going to regret it later
( ... )
Affect from this source proved daunting, reached beyond his own level of comprehension, and oft served to overwhelm. Here, Nigredo received a rare facet: a soothing effect in a rush of clarity, a brother reacting not to trauma but to an honest attempt. Nigredo watched with open eyes as his waveform reached across the short gap to touch. To reassure. There existed unspilled tears, and in truth, the younger wanted Albedo smiling. Happy to reflect what was seen in waveform and mind
( ... )
The fact that his brother replied instead of sent showed that he was listening to him enough to do as he asked. That was perhaps enough... A show of change, but. Don't worry about him? That was faulty, and even Nigredo should know it. Albedo looked pained, then shifted to something younger. A strange mutation of a pout. "I can worry if I want to." You're important, went unsaid, but it claimed itself as obvious with a link vibrating between them.
As were other things. Things he understood Nigredo saw without even trying. But Albedo didn't look away. A complete give was beyond him, but he wouldn't hide what lay there to see. As Nigredo said. Albedo was with him. Right now. He swallowed, blinking, then took a breath and straightened, a hand moving to pet his brother's hair. {You can rest if you want. I'll stay here.}
He would give him the right to worry. Nigredo would concede in the face of his pride for he supposed Albedo spoke the truth. "...Alright," Nigredo told him. Volume was sorely lacking, but the youngest was trying to acquiesce. "As long you know I'll be fine." Somehow, he would live. As fractured as everything was, he would continue.
There was a shift, and he pressed his face closer to cloth and warmth. This seemed enough for fatigue to return, for drugs to seep in and take hold. His brother gave his promise, and Nigredo hummed in acknowledgment. In thought.
Before he closed his eyes, he offered a phrase. A phrase spoken multiple times in the past, but it meant a little differently here. A penance, perhaps. {Good night, Albedo.}
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If there existed something to say, it wouldn't be the events of last night. That was held to the background, left for a more lucid time. Instead, Nigredo would offer something close to a renewal. A beginning.
{Good morning,} he sent, still smiling.
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And yet, here, in response to a whim, there existed reciprocation. The light press of Nigredo's head into his stomach, a smile on the youngest's lips. Albedo would be forgiven for his shock, for the beat of delay while he stared downward.
...The moment passed, and Albedo only draped an arm over his brother's stomach, mindful of the wound on Nigredo's chest. He wouldn't have tested, this would have graced enough, but he hadn't been rejected. Not yet. "Good morning," he murmured lightly. "How are you feeling?"
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{I feel weird,} replied Nigredo, who closed his eyes and sighed into cloth. {Like my head's spinning even though I'm still. It is really nice.} Like grass and a cool breeze.
{I think they gave me too much in painkillers,} came the conclusion, almost given as an afterthought. Whatever they had provided, he thought, they should do so again.
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"So I see," came the murmur, dry and amused. His fingers shifted against Nigredo, fingers seeking a spot he used to know well. They moved gently against skin, and Albedo quirked his mouth. "In a fine mood now, are we?"
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Nigredo sadly mistook amusement for approval. Why his brother would consent to a drug overdose never touched the brain. He merely passed into a pleasant haze, dropping his smile for a lack in effort. A part of him was tempted to sleep away the time. There existed sunlight overhead and a warm body beneath him. It would be a waste to let that go.
As his consciousness started fade, however, his body jerked against a foreign sensation. The child stuck to ignorance, attributing the prickling of nerves as a fluke of a drugged mind.
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Albedo frowned suddenly, then shifted his expression to affection, tickling the place quickly before relenting. {Nigredo,} he sent in a wonder, mind in a repeat of nearly two weeks prior. {Would you trust me to watch over you while you rest?}
Or like before, would his brother only be resigned to his fate, apathetic to his own end?
Had things changed at all?
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Who in turn asked something he suddenly couldn't name. Nigredo blinked as he transitioned into understanding, sobered as he reached it. The question sounded sad--so, too, the memory--and the younger stretched his lips in an attempt to encourage.
{Yes, I would.}
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No, people could not help what they wanted.
Nigredo sent, and there was a reaction like heat in his stomach, a twisting inside of his chest, and something eased inside of the boy. Something slid into place fluidly, and all facades slipped away. Albedo inhaled, something burning against his eyes, and curled over Nigredo, a finger going to his brother's chin to tilt his face upwards. Lips touched and held, then Albedo moved back slightly. "I love you," he gave, and his voice was thick with emotion as he stared down. "Don't forget that."
Reply
The child looked up, shifting far enough to offer solemn green eyes. They held neither pain nor misery--only consideration and a wistful gaze. It was a product of a lonely soul losing solitude and found trouble grasping the magnitude.
Finally, though motionless, warmth slid beneath his eyes, sobriety turning to peace. {I don't think I will anymore,} he sent. {I believe you.}
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His eyes burned, and he shut them against the tears that threatened entirely, lowering again to press his head against Nigredo's own. "...Stop sending, stupid," he whispered hoarsely. "You're going to regret it later ( ... )
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As were other things. Things he understood Nigredo saw without even trying. But Albedo didn't look away. A complete give was beyond him, but he wouldn't hide what lay there to see. As Nigredo said. Albedo was with him. Right now. He swallowed, blinking, then took a breath and straightened, a hand moving to pet his brother's hair. {You can rest if you want. I'll stay here.}
A line given in multiples and meant in each way.
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There was a shift, and he pressed his face closer to cloth and warmth. This seemed enough for fatigue to return, for drugs to seep in and take hold. His brother gave his promise, and Nigredo hummed in acknowledgment. In thought.
Before he closed his eyes, he offered a phrase. A phrase spoken multiple times in the past, but it meant a little differently here. A penance, perhaps. {Good night, Albedo.}
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