Moving
This is maybe one my most emo, self-pitying entries of all time. But it would be remiss of me not to post it (for posterity's sake, of course).
kikimcshagalot: my problem with moving has nothing to do with atlanta
kikimcshagalot: it has to do with suburbia
kikimcshagalot: why would we move to ANOTHER suburb
kikimcshagalot: i'ts SO boring
hellofozzybear: hahaha
kikimcshagalot: let's move someplace cool
kikimcshagalot: like a city
hellofozzybear: honestly
hellofozzybear: or even maine
hellofozzybear: werent we always self proclaimed mainiacs?
hellofozzybear: i mean
hellofozzybear: maybe not exciting
hellofozzybear: but at least wed finally back it up
hellofozzybear: my main problem with moving is that it completely disrupts my life in nearly every single way for the next 4 or 5 months
kikimcshagalot: well
kikimcshagalot: i mean
kikimcshagalot: not really
kikimcshagalot: you'll just be at the nimmers
hellofozzybear: well its like
kikimcshagalot: you just can't really smoke at the nimmers house in them iddle of the day but wahtever you can smoke in neil some place else
hellofozzybear: yeah
hellofozzybear: but its also like
hellofozzybear: im directing this play
hellofozzybear: which we only have another month to get together
kikimcshagalot: right
hellofozzybear: but now i also have to move on top of that
hellofozzybear: and stay on top of my school stuff at the same time
hellofozzybear: and then its like
hellofozzybear: im living in somebody else's house
hellofozzybear: and i dont really know what the plans are for after graduation
hellofozzybear: cause i havent been talking to mom or dad
hellofozzybear: but i imagine mom and dad are gonna wanna move asap
kikimcshagalot: i mean
kikimcshagalot: well whatever
kikimcshagalot: you can still stay here
hellofozzybear: yeah
hellofozzybear: again
hellofozzybear: living in somebody else's house
kikimcshagalot: the nimmers will let you stay as long as you want
hellofozzybear: i know
hellofozzybear: but honestly
hellofozzybear: how would you feel in my position
hellofozzybear: i mean
kikimcshagalot: well
hellofozzybear: just try to remember how much you hated mom and dad senior year
kikimcshagalot: yeah
hellofozzybear: which i can still remember quite well
kikimcshagalot: that's true
hellofozzybear: because there was so much yelling all the time.
kikimcshagalot: yeah good point
Auto response from hellofozzybear: Oh Sunday rest
I'm a mess
put me in your arms
hellofozzybear: in fact, you probably hated them more than i do
hellofozzybear: and then they just completley lied to me
hellofozzybear: assured to me literally the entire time
hellofozzybear: that we wouldnt be moving til august or september
hellofozzybear: til after id gone to school
hellofozzybear: even though they actually had no basis for such a claim
hellofozzybear: and that was enough to make me happy
hellofozzybear: i didnt care that i wasnt involved in the process at all cause whatever
hellofozzybear: i get to stay here with my friends til college, so whatever
hellofozzybear: im good
hellofozzybear: but it turns out that was pretty much a lie
hellofozzybear: and since theyve sold the house
hellofozzybear: have they even tried to talk to me?
hellofozzybear: i mean i imagine theyre giving me my space or whatever, which im fine with
hellofozzybear: but i dont get anything
hellofozzybear: no explanation, no apology
hellofozzybear: they actually
hellofozzybear: get this
hellofozzybear: they actually got me a greeting card
hellofozzybear: with some lame joke on the front
kikimcshagalot: uh
hellofozzybear: about some guy named
hellofozzybear: 'Ed Coli'
hellofozzybear: who's having a bad day because his store 'E. Coli's Vegetables' isn't doing very well
hellofozzybear: and on the inside it says
hellofozzybear: "Hope your day's going better. Love, Dad and Mom"
hellofozzybear: and they left it in neil
hellofozzybear: for me to find
hellofozzybear: like, oh, thanks mom and dad
hellofozzybear: this really helps
hellofozzybear: see now im just making myself pissed off at them
hellofozzybear: okay
hellofozzybear: im sorry
hellofozzybear: clearly ive been thinking a lot about this lately.
hellofozzybear: i didnt mean to go off on you
hellofozzybear: ive really gotta get to bed
kikimcshagalot: no wait
kikimcshagalot: interesting
kikimcshagalot: well
kikimcshagalot: heres the thing
kikimcshagalot: i think
kikimcshagalot: your silence and obvious anger
kikimcshagalot: made mom and dad tihnk you need some space
kikimcshagalot: and no, they're not gonna move til the end ofthe summer
kikimcshagalot: or at least if they start bringing stuff down there after graduation, they won't take up permament residence there until after you leave for school
hellofozzybear: whatever they may as well move anyway
hellofozzybear: like i said
hellofozzybear: theyre not my parents anymore
hellofozzybear: theyre just the people i live with
hellofozzybear: and soon
kikimcshagalot: ouch
kikimcshagalot: thats a little extreme
hellofozzybear: the nimmers are gonna be the people i live with
hellofozzybear: no i think its entirely fair
hellofozzybear: i know youve been at college
hellofozzybear: so you havent been around
hellofozzybear: but dad's never home for dinner
hellofozzybear: ever
kikimcshagalot: i know
hellofozzybear: i never even really see him
hellofozzybear: mom's around
hellofozzybear: but we dont get along anyway
kikimcshagalot: the house definitely seem like a depressing place to be this past year or two
hellofozzybear: and they are in no way a part of my life
hellofozzybear: they dont even know who my friends are anymore
hellofozzybear: the most parenting they do
hellofozzybear: is show up for my plays
hellofozzybear: twice a year
hellofozzybear: i dont even get calls
hellofozzybear: the shit ive gotten away with this year
hellofozzybear: coming and going
hellofozzybear: til 2, 3, 4 in the morning
hellofozzybear: most people would think thats a totally sweet deal
hellofozzybear: and im not really complaining
hellofozzybear: im just saying
hellofozzybear: that they havent acted like parents in a long time
hellofozzybear: and by making this decision about moving
kikimcshagalot: interesting
hellofozzybear: literally without including me or my interests in any way at all
kikimcshagalot: this all makes me so sad
kikimcshagalot: i mean
hellofozzybear: it shows that they no longer really care enough to even pretend were a family
hellofozzybear: so why should i?
kikimcshagalot: i remember HATIng them my senior year so i understand where you're coming from to that extent
hellofozzybear: its not that
hellofozzybear: im angry at them
hellofozzybear: and part of me hates them, i guess
hellofozzybear: its more like
hellofozzybear: for the longest time
hellofozzybear: i havent cared about them
hellofozzybear: but i always felt bad about it like
hellofozzybear: how can you not care about your parents?
kikimcshagalot: right
hellofozzybear: so i always at least gave the illusion that our relationship meant something
hellofozzybear: but now its like
hellofozzybear: why even bother
kikimcshagalot: i dunno
kikimcshagalot: i think after you go away to school your feelings will change
kikimcshagalot: like i never would have predicted mine would
kikimcshagalot: but mine have changed to the point that i don't even remember how i felt my senior year anymore
kikimcshagalot: i mean when you remind me i can still recall
kikimcshagalot: and sure they annoy me, and they're defintiely flawed individuals for sure
kikimcshagalot: and the situation we're in now, especially for you, definitely sucks A LOT
kikimcshagalot: but on the other hand
kikimcshagalot: like they had no control and NO way to predict that it was gonna happen this way
hellofozzybear: yeah, i know that
hellofozzybear: but if they didn't
hellofozzybear: then they shouldnt have acted like they did
hellofozzybear: if they had been straight with me from the start
hellofozzybear: that's one thing
hellofozzybear: but they basically just lied and told me what they thought i wanted to hear
kikimcshagalot: i'm not sure they lied
kikimcshagalot: but one thing to remember about the two of them
kikimcshagalot: is that they're, as ms white so well put it, stupidly optimistic
kikimcshagalot: to the point that it pisses me off
kikimcshagalot: so they create these plans and then assume that everything's going to go according to it
hellofozzybear: yeah i dunno
hellofozzybear: i mean i know im going to forgive them eventually
hellofozzybear: i mean for better or for worse i rely on them so its not like i can give them the silent treatment forever
kikimcshagalot: right
Auto response from hellofozzybear: Oh Sunday rest
I'm a mess
put me in your arms
kikimcshagalot: i dunno
kikimcshagalot: like it's gonna suck for a few months i'm sure
hellofozzybear: thats the worst part
hellofozzybear: this is supposed to be like
kikimcshagalot: but i can almost promise you that without even thinking about your relationship with mom and dad will change a lot once you go away t o school
kikimcshagalot: i mean just look at emily and them
hellofozzybear: the best few months of my life
hellofozzybear: i mean not that i really believe that
hellofozzybear: but still
hellofozzybear: its supposed to be a great time
hellofozzybear: and instead of enjoying myself
hellofozzybear: im just going to be
hellofozzybear: preoccupied with my living situation all the time
hellofozzybear: and knowing that im not never going to see my friends again
kikimcshagalot: well
kikimcshagalot: try not to let it bother you
kikimcshagalot: at least at the nimmers you'll have your own room
kikimcshagalot: and like
kikimcshagalot: your computer will be hooked up and everything
hellofozzybear: ugh
hellofozzybear: that is so not even the issue
hellofozzybear: thats the first thing mom said too
kikimcshagalot: and you don't have to spend time there
kikimcshagalot: well
hellofozzybear: and its like
hellofozzybear: entirely missing the point
hellofozzybear: gar.
hellofozzybear: i have been such a mess these past few days
kikimcshagalot: aww
kikimcshagalot: daniel!
kikimcshagalot: try not to let it stress you out
kikimcshagalot: it's easy for me to say now from my perspective
hellofozzybear: were way past stress
hellofozzybear: were at like overload
kikimcshagalot: my problem with moving has nothing to do with atlanta
kikimcshagalot: it has to do with suburbia
kikimcshagalot: why would we move to ANOTHER suburb
kikimcshagalot: i'ts SO boring
hellofozzybear: hahaha
kikimcshagalot: let's move someplace cool
kikimcshagalot: like a city
hellofozzybear: honestly
hellofozzybear: or even maine
hellofozzybear: werent we always self proclaimed mainiacs?
hellofozzybear: i mean
hellofozzybear: maybe not exciting
hellofozzybear: but at least wed finally back it up
hellofozzybear: my main problem with moving is that it completely disrupts my life in nearly every single way for the next 4 or 5 months
kikimcshagalot: well
kikimcshagalot: i mean
kikimcshagalot: not really
kikimcshagalot: you'll just be at the nimmers
hellofozzybear: well its like
kikimcshagalot: you just can't really smoke at the nimmers house in them iddle of the day but wahtever you can smoke in neil some place else
hellofozzybear: yeah
hellofozzybear: but its also like
hellofozzybear: im directing this play
hellofozzybear: which we only have another month to get together
kikimcshagalot: right
hellofozzybear: but now i also have to move on top of that
hellofozzybear: and stay on top of my school stuff at the same time
hellofozzybear: and then its like
hellofozzybear: im living in somebody else's house
hellofozzybear: and i dont really know what the plans are for after graduation
hellofozzybear: cause i havent been talking to mom or dad
hellofozzybear: but i imagine mom and dad are gonna wanna move asap
kikimcshagalot: i mean
kikimcshagalot: well whatever
kikimcshagalot: you can still stay here
hellofozzybear: yeah
hellofozzybear: again
hellofozzybear: living in somebody else's house
kikimcshagalot: the nimmers will let you stay as long as you want
hellofozzybear: i know
hellofozzybear: but honestly
hellofozzybear: how would you feel in my position
hellofozzybear: i mean
kikimcshagalot: well
hellofozzybear: just try to remember how much you hated mom and dad senior year
kikimcshagalot: yeah
hellofozzybear: which i can still remember quite well
kikimcshagalot: that's true
hellofozzybear: because there was so much yelling all the time.
kikimcshagalot: yeah good point
Auto response from hellofozzybear: Oh Sunday rest
I'm a mess
put me in your arms
hellofozzybear: in fact, you probably hated them more than i do
hellofozzybear: and then they just completley lied to me
hellofozzybear: assured to me literally the entire time
hellofozzybear: that we wouldnt be moving til august or september
hellofozzybear: til after id gone to school
hellofozzybear: even though they actually had no basis for such a claim
hellofozzybear: and that was enough to make me happy
hellofozzybear: i didnt care that i wasnt involved in the process at all cause whatever
hellofozzybear: i get to stay here with my friends til college, so whatever
hellofozzybear: im good
hellofozzybear: but it turns out that was pretty much a lie
hellofozzybear: and since theyve sold the house
hellofozzybear: have they even tried to talk to me?
hellofozzybear: i mean i imagine theyre giving me my space or whatever, which im fine with
hellofozzybear: but i dont get anything
hellofozzybear: no explanation, no apology
hellofozzybear: they actually
hellofozzybear: get this
hellofozzybear: they actually got me a greeting card
hellofozzybear: with some lame joke on the front
kikimcshagalot: uh
hellofozzybear: about some guy named
hellofozzybear: 'Ed Coli'
hellofozzybear: who's having a bad day because his store 'E. Coli's Vegetables' isn't doing very well
hellofozzybear: and on the inside it says
hellofozzybear: "Hope your day's going better. Love, Dad and Mom"
hellofozzybear: and they left it in neil
hellofozzybear: for me to find
hellofozzybear: like, oh, thanks mom and dad
hellofozzybear: this really helps
hellofozzybear: see now im just making myself pissed off at them
hellofozzybear: okay
hellofozzybear: im sorry
hellofozzybear: clearly ive been thinking a lot about this lately.
hellofozzybear: i didnt mean to go off on you
hellofozzybear: ive really gotta get to bed
kikimcshagalot: no wait
kikimcshagalot: interesting
kikimcshagalot: well
kikimcshagalot: heres the thing
kikimcshagalot: i think
kikimcshagalot: your silence and obvious anger
kikimcshagalot: made mom and dad tihnk you need some space
kikimcshagalot: and no, they're not gonna move til the end ofthe summer
kikimcshagalot: or at least if they start bringing stuff down there after graduation, they won't take up permament residence there until after you leave for school
hellofozzybear: whatever they may as well move anyway
hellofozzybear: like i said
hellofozzybear: theyre not my parents anymore
hellofozzybear: theyre just the people i live with
hellofozzybear: and soon
kikimcshagalot: ouch
kikimcshagalot: thats a little extreme
hellofozzybear: the nimmers are gonna be the people i live with
hellofozzybear: no i think its entirely fair
hellofozzybear: i know youve been at college
hellofozzybear: so you havent been around
hellofozzybear: but dad's never home for dinner
hellofozzybear: ever
kikimcshagalot: i know
hellofozzybear: i never even really see him
hellofozzybear: mom's around
hellofozzybear: but we dont get along anyway
kikimcshagalot: the house definitely seem like a depressing place to be this past year or two
hellofozzybear: and they are in no way a part of my life
hellofozzybear: they dont even know who my friends are anymore
hellofozzybear: the most parenting they do
hellofozzybear: is show up for my plays
hellofozzybear: twice a year
hellofozzybear: i dont even get calls
hellofozzybear: the shit ive gotten away with this year
hellofozzybear: coming and going
hellofozzybear: til 2, 3, 4 in the morning
hellofozzybear: most people would think thats a totally sweet deal
hellofozzybear: and im not really complaining
hellofozzybear: im just saying
hellofozzybear: that they havent acted like parents in a long time
hellofozzybear: and by making this decision about moving
kikimcshagalot: interesting
hellofozzybear: literally without including me or my interests in any way at all
kikimcshagalot: this all makes me so sad
kikimcshagalot: i mean
hellofozzybear: it shows that they no longer really care enough to even pretend were a family
hellofozzybear: so why should i?
kikimcshagalot: i remember HATIng them my senior year so i understand where you're coming from to that extent
hellofozzybear: its not that
hellofozzybear: im angry at them
hellofozzybear: and part of me hates them, i guess
hellofozzybear: its more like
hellofozzybear: for the longest time
hellofozzybear: i havent cared about them
hellofozzybear: but i always felt bad about it like
hellofozzybear: how can you not care about your parents?
kikimcshagalot: right
hellofozzybear: so i always at least gave the illusion that our relationship meant something
hellofozzybear: but now its like
hellofozzybear: why even bother
kikimcshagalot: i dunno
kikimcshagalot: i think after you go away to school your feelings will change
kikimcshagalot: like i never would have predicted mine would
kikimcshagalot: but mine have changed to the point that i don't even remember how i felt my senior year anymore
kikimcshagalot: i mean when you remind me i can still recall
kikimcshagalot: and sure they annoy me, and they're defintiely flawed individuals for sure
kikimcshagalot: and the situation we're in now, especially for you, definitely sucks A LOT
kikimcshagalot: but on the other hand
kikimcshagalot: like they had no control and NO way to predict that it was gonna happen this way
hellofozzybear: yeah, i know that
hellofozzybear: but if they didn't
hellofozzybear: then they shouldnt have acted like they did
hellofozzybear: if they had been straight with me from the start
hellofozzybear: that's one thing
hellofozzybear: but they basically just lied and told me what they thought i wanted to hear
kikimcshagalot: i'm not sure they lied
kikimcshagalot: but one thing to remember about the two of them
kikimcshagalot: is that they're, as ms white so well put it, stupidly optimistic
kikimcshagalot: to the point that it pisses me off
kikimcshagalot: so they create these plans and then assume that everything's going to go according to it
hellofozzybear: yeah i dunno
hellofozzybear: i mean i know im going to forgive them eventually
hellofozzybear: i mean for better or for worse i rely on them so its not like i can give them the silent treatment forever
kikimcshagalot: right
Auto response from hellofozzybear: Oh Sunday rest
I'm a mess
put me in your arms
kikimcshagalot: i dunno
kikimcshagalot: like it's gonna suck for a few months i'm sure
hellofozzybear: thats the worst part
hellofozzybear: this is supposed to be like
kikimcshagalot: but i can almost promise you that without even thinking about your relationship with mom and dad will change a lot once you go away t o school
kikimcshagalot: i mean just look at emily and them
hellofozzybear: the best few months of my life
hellofozzybear: i mean not that i really believe that
hellofozzybear: but still
hellofozzybear: its supposed to be a great time
hellofozzybear: and instead of enjoying myself
hellofozzybear: im just going to be
hellofozzybear: preoccupied with my living situation all the time
hellofozzybear: and knowing that im not never going to see my friends again
kikimcshagalot: well
kikimcshagalot: try not to let it bother you
kikimcshagalot: at least at the nimmers you'll have your own room
kikimcshagalot: and like
kikimcshagalot: your computer will be hooked up and everything
hellofozzybear: ugh
hellofozzybear: that is so not even the issue
hellofozzybear: thats the first thing mom said too
kikimcshagalot: and you don't have to spend time there
kikimcshagalot: well
hellofozzybear: and its like
hellofozzybear: entirely missing the point
hellofozzybear: gar.
hellofozzybear: i have been such a mess these past few days
kikimcshagalot: aww
kikimcshagalot: daniel!
kikimcshagalot: try not to let it stress you out
kikimcshagalot: it's easy for me to say now from my perspective
hellofozzybear: were way past stress
hellofozzybear: were at like overload