Advice on fic, please?

Aug 25, 2010 13:18

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garryowen August 25 2010, 22:32:10 UTC
danahid August 27 2010, 01:21:47 UTC
Good advice and thoughts on both, hon. Food for thought!

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anon_j_anon August 26 2010, 05:56:20 UTC
Totally go for the Dr. Strangelove reference, "How I learned to stop worrying and tolerate love the idiot". I'd read it.

As for the insomnia fic-- interesting! The opening paragraphs definitely give a sense that something might not be right, but it's a niggling sense, a kind of oh it's Jim Kirk who never can stay in one place and he's devoted to his ship so things must be okay...

But I think I'm detecting traces of hurt/comfort, mostly because of how you use the word "carefully" (and its variants-- thoughtful, serious) so many times, how cautious he is. Like he's doing too much to prevent himself from thinking about something, which makes me wonder about the circumstances that led to this in the first place.

... he sounds kind of like Spock, now that I think about it.

Also, unrelated, but-- actually, I'll send an e.

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danahid August 27 2010, 01:24:01 UTC
I do like the Dr Strangelove reference... hmmm. More food for thought.

I'm glad you picked up on the carefully variants as well as the word itself. And yes, the h/c traces are deliberate. And the fact that he sounds kind of like Spock ... well, in my thinking, they do have quite a lot in common, more than they suspect.

I saw you email and am just beginning to catch up with things (am on yet another business trip); I'll try to write back tonight.

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somedaybitch August 26 2010, 17:48:10 UTC
personally speaking, i've never found Kirk to be an idiot, so yeah, that title would completely turn me off.

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danahid August 27 2010, 01:27:40 UTC
Oh, T! I'm so glad you see your reply! How are you, hon?

I've never found Kirk to be an idiot, either. I've found him to be completely the opposite (in fact, I wrote a whole fic called What We Know that was pretty much a rationalization and depiction of his intelligence and competence). It's funny but I'm half-turned off by the title as well, but also intrigued by the person who would think that. If that makes sense.

Perhaps a subtitle would help. Although I'm still really not sure I'd use the "idiot" title in the first place.

Thank you so much for your opinion. I really appreciate it.

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somedaybitch August 27 2010, 02:53:03 UTC
:::hugs:::

am good, thank ye kindly. and you?

i enjoyed "What We Know", and i know exactly what you mean.

and depending on how you wrote it, that could make the title retrospectively funny now that i think on it more.

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danahid August 30 2010, 16:48:58 UTC
::: hugs back :::

I'm so glad you're doing well -- I am too, though am crazy busy at work.

I'm so glad you enjoyed "What We Know"! Your opinion means a lot, hon.

Which is why I'm still noodling on that "idiot" title; I'm trying to figure out if I really want to risk it...

(sigh)

Anyway, thank you again for sharing what you thought. I really appreciate it!

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emluv August 26 2010, 18:25:08 UTC
Hmm. Maybe something more inclusive of the shift in Uhura's point of view over the course of the story? Like "How to Work for an Idiot Who Turns Out to Be a Genius"? Er...something to that effect. (You know I suck at the title thing.)

More thoughts in an e-mail soon, I promise. {{{hugs}}}

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danahid August 27 2010, 01:31:29 UTC
Yes, I think you're on to something. If I do use the title (which is definitely still in doubt), there needs to be something that mitigates the force of the word "idiot."

::: hugs back :::

I'll look forward to your longer email. Thanks in the meantime for the quickie email. A bunch of folks linked me to those pictures yesterday, and all I could thinka about was how much I miss MIT and its madness. And also that "The Doctor 1, Harvard 0" is completely brilliant. I resent and deride Harvard on principle, so I approve.

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emluv August 27 2010, 02:32:48 UTC
I figured you'd probably seen them, but I had to make sure. *g*

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danahid August 30 2010, 16:47:19 UTC
Thanks again, sweetie!

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mazaher August 26 2010, 19:32:36 UTC
1. You know, I'm co-writing with Athens7 a story (rather, a small series) where at one point Spock reviews his early opinion that Kirk is an idiot. I don't think your title is a turn-off. I don't think Uhura's first impression is unjustified either. I do think following her while she changes her mind is going to be fascinating.
2. Right track. Interesting (very). In character. Being able to sleep means being able to relax at the right time, when it's safe to do so. It's a bit like learning how to take breaths while swimming. It requires the crew having come to trust him, which means he can trust them in turn. "Careful" sounds like the right way to do it, at this stage.
Thank you for the prospect of such good stories.

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danahid August 27 2010, 01:33:53 UTC
1. As always, your comments make me think! Your point that her first impression is harsh but not necessarily unjustified is a valid and thought-provoking one. I'm excited about her journey to changing her mind too. And I'm delighted that you're working on a small series with Athens7 about Spock and Kirk. Could you link me?

2. I'm thrilled you think it's on the track, and THANK YOU for your wonderfully encouraging feedback. I'll keep going!

Thank you, dear friend, as always!

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mazaher August 27 2010, 09:55:25 UTC
We'd be honored if you will read our stuff when it will be online. We're working on part 3 of 5 and will post all five together on ksarchive.com and/or on athens7's LJ when finished. Meanwhile, I have a TOS and a Reboot series of my own posted on ksarchive.com as mazaher; the stories should probably read in the order they have in each series, although in theory they could stand on their own. Thank you =)

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danahid August 30 2010, 16:46:53 UTC
I have saved the links, and will happily read when I get through my day's deliverables. Thank you so much! YAY!

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