Funny - Birth Order!!
BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
> 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
> confirms your pregnancy.
> 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
> 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
> _______________________________________ ______________
>
> Preparing for the Birth:
>
> 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
> 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
> breathing didn't do a thing.
> 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
> ______________________________________________________
> The Layette:
> 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and
> fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
> 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
> discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
> 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
> ______________________________________________________
>
> Worries:
>
> 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick
> up the baby
> 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
> 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
> ______________________________________________________
>
> Pacifier:
>
> 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
> you can go home and wash and boil it.
> 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with
> some juice from the baby's bottle.
> 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
> ______________________________________________________
>
> Diapering:
>
> 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they
> need it or not.
> 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
> 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
> complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
> _______________________________________________________
>
> Activities:
>
> 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby
> Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
> 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
> 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
> _____________________________________________
>
> Going Out:
>
> 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call
> home five times.
> 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
> number where you can be reached.
> 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
> ______________________________________________________
>
> At Home:
>
> 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
> 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
> child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
> 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
> ______________________________________________________
>
> Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
>
> 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
> hospital and demand x-rays
> 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for
> the coin to pass.
> 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
> ______________________________________________________
> 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
> confirms your pregnancy.
> 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
> 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
> _______________________________________ ______________
>
> Preparing for the Birth:
>
> 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
> 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
> breathing didn't do a thing.
> 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
> ______________________________________________________
> The Layette:
> 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and
> fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
> 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
> discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
> 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
> ______________________________________________________
>
> Worries:
>
> 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick
> up the baby
> 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
> 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
> ______________________________________________________
>
> Pacifier:
>
> 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
> you can go home and wash and boil it.
> 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with
> some juice from the baby's bottle.
> 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
> ______________________________________________________
>
> Diapering:
>
> 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they
> need it or not.
> 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
> 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
> complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
> _______________________________________________________
>
> Activities:
>
> 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby
> Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
> 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
> 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
> _____________________________________________
>
> Going Out:
>
> 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call
> home five times.
> 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
> number where you can be reached.
> 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
> ______________________________________________________
>
> At Home:
>
> 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
> 2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
> child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
> 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
> ______________________________________________________
>
> Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
>
> 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
> hospital and demand x-rays
> 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for
> the coin to pass.
> 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
> ______________________________________________________