I need a fluffy pillow!
I feel like I have been awake for a month, ran twenty miles and got hit by a train.
So, despite the exhaustion and massive headache this gave me from bawling my eyes out, I still don't know how to feel. I don't know when I'm going to know how to feel.
I am... sad. Angry. Confused. Devastated.
I mean, it was predictable. For years everyone has said they were all going to be dead at the end. Why they went there when that was already the predominate theory, I don't know.
I guess eventually I will have to work up the courage to watch it again, and try to formulate other thoughts, but for now I can say this:
Despite how I feel or may feel in the future, it was still an amazing journey. I think most of all, I loved every single person in this cast to little bitty pieces, despite their characters, because I have never seen such an amazingly talented group of actors in one place in my life. Every week for six years they made me laugh, cry, scream, worry, chew my nails, and root for their ultimate well-being, or ultimate demise. heh
The "masterminds" of this show may have been JJ, Damon, and Carlton, who I will always maintain are mentally unstable. But it was Matthew, Evangeline, Jorge, Josh, Emilie, Dominic, Yunjin, Daniel, Terry, Harold, Ian, Maggie, Naveen, Elizabeth, Michael, Jeremy, Nestor, Henry, Sonya and the countless, countless Others (ha ha) who pulled us in, dragged us along whether we could stand it or not, and made us love, hate, and follow these people for the last six years. A less masterful cast might have lost a lot more of the audience a long time ago, but these performers put all of themselves into this journey and made those of us who hung on believe in them.
I am grateful for that, because for all of its flaws, even perhaps its ultimate one, this show was a hell of a ride. It was well-written, stunningly acted, and amazingly beautiful, shot for shot.
So, even though I will never get to thank them personally and they will never see this, I thank all the aforementioned (and unintentionally forgotten) people who were involved in this show. I wish them all the best in their future endeavors and thank them for touching me in so many ways with so many different emotions.
That wasn't really relevant to the actual episode, but it had to be said.