This hurts more than it should...

[danarchylives]

A few jokes...

A plea to stay...

The first exit...

The return...

An embrace...

Little words...

A pause at the door...

Slam.

And so ends the fabulous story of Joshua and Dan...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

SF

Comments

[anonymous]

Your writing is solid now, but what would make it even better is hardcore emotional honesty and intimacy. Take your reader inside your head and your heart, and show him/her your self and your perceptions in full.

That kind of writing is compelling because everybody is a voyeur. If you open yourself up, people will stop and take a look inside.

You do that to an extent now, but it's sort of vague, you know? Basically, you describe your life, but you don't explain it. For example, you feel X and think Y, but what event Z made all of that happen?

If you don't get into specifics, it's hard for the reader to know what you're going through--let alone understand it and empathize with it. Know what I mean?

That's all just my opinion, anyway. I'm not trying to tell you what's what.

What?!

[danarchylives]

What the fuck are you talking about?

This is stream of concious. I don't need your fucking gramatical critiques on my fucking thought process.

Re: What?!

[danarchylives]

Huh?!

I was commenting on your writing in general. You made like you were into writing something to get you famous, so I offered you some writing tips.