You are very very pretty. No seriously, I mean it. You could stand to get a more fashionable pair of glasses, and wear things that show off your curves a little more often. I think I'm saying you totally lack fashion sense, which is a pretty hilarious hypocrisy.
You know, after mulling over that article, I think accepting my own "realness" while at the same time helping other people know I wasn't perfect was a big part of why LJ was so important to me. Mostly, as an experiment, it was a big success personally, helping me have more genuine relationships with people whereas previously that had been very hard for me. As I learned the hard way, however, the downside to being real is exposing your vulnerabilities, and unkind people can then exploit those for their own aims, whether that be smearing your character or just making up stories about you out of grains of truth to make themselves feel important and better about themselves.
I'm looking for a balance now. I miss blogging a lot, and frequently have things I wish I could write about, but I am more vulnerable now than ever, and I need to find a safe way to express myself.
I liked the article, and your thoughts too. I needed that today.
You know whats most imperfect? Getting swept away with the need to be perfect! "Why do we crucify ourselves?"
This year, I keep telling myself "What other people think about me is none of my business." But also "don't be an asshole." I guess that's how I can simplify it for now. Should I add "If you act like an asshole, try to make it right, own up to it, and don't beat yourself up too much?
Yes. And also "If someone seems to feel a need to beat you up over something, by all means ask them why."
If you can get up the courage to do it, nothing stops a self-rightous bully like asking sincerely "So, why is it that you feel so compelled to make sure I feel miserable over a mistake I've already apologized for?"
You can't hold someone down without being willing to stay down there with them...
You've stirred up so many thoughts about this topic in me, that I can't quite get my brain to recognize, let alone analyze them. Let me just say that your posts always delight and terrify me.
Oh, wait, here's a memory. I once had a fear of being perfectly happy for even a moment because A) I felt I didn't deserve to be happy and B) as all good Catholics know, happiness, like pride, goeth before a fall.
Now I just embrace the happy moment, grinning like a little kid.
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I got nothin. Great post.
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I don't think R's invitation was well met by you taking a cheap shot at her fashion choices.
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I'm looking for a balance now. I miss blogging a lot, and frequently have things I wish I could write about, but I am more vulnerable now than ever, and I need to find a safe way to express myself.
Reply
You know whats most imperfect? Getting swept away with the need to be perfect! "Why do we crucify ourselves?"
This year, I keep telling myself "What other people think about me is none of my business." But also "don't be an asshole." I guess that's how I can simplify it for now. Should I add "If you act like an asshole, try to make it right, own up to it, and don't beat yourself up too much?
Reply
If you can get up the courage to do it, nothing stops a self-rightous bully like asking sincerely "So, why is it that you feel so compelled to make sure I feel miserable over a mistake I've already apologized for?"
You can't hold someone down without being willing to stay down there with them...
Reply
Oh, wait, here's a memory. I once had a fear of being perfectly happy for even a moment because A) I felt I didn't deserve to be happy and B) as all good Catholics know, happiness, like pride, goeth before a fall.
Now I just embrace the happy moment, grinning like a little kid.
Reply
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