Yeah I know I have been gone for so long. I haven't felt like updating and there isn't much to write about. All I can say is, I found the answer to my problems. I have thought that maybe God meant Idols as in many Gods. Becuase there were many God's in Jerusalem. But here in America, they are not musicians or anything that is entertainment wise. If ( Read more... )

I might be moving, hahahaha. I'm really happy about this, b/c I don't want to be here anymore. I'm tired of it and I'm wanting to live on my own soooo freaking bad. I can't wait!! I hope there isn't a really long waiting list or something. I don't know but there are all kinda things there, esp like a library. I love reading. I get tired of reading ( Read more... )

Ok, last night, Shakara moved in, she is my care takers, duaghter and I'm just sooooo jelouce of it all. B/c I don't get to see my Mom every day like she does and all I ever wanted was to move back in with my Mom and my Mom says no. So then there is this thing about seeing her with her Mom, that makes me regret that I ever said what I said about my ( Read more... )

Ok, not this again. It's been almost two weeks since I haven't seen my Mom and now, all the sudden, I start crying b/c of the demonds, and then she was looking at me and saying that I needed to stop crying b/c she wont let me go to my Mom's house if I don't. Like, w/e. I swear that my Mom isn't going to let that happen anyways. She didn't come home ( Read more... )

I swear I'm mad at my caretaker, she said that I should ACT happy, since I'm a Christian and all that. Well I'm tired of pretending that I'm in a good mood, becuase being a Christian doesn't always mean you should ACT happy , it means be real. If you aren't happy, you should be able to say something. If you are happy then be happy. Life isn't ( Read more... )

I know I was stupid, but it is ok to fallow your dreams. Iam fallowing all of them. Iam going to make my dreams come true. It says so in the Bible. God gave people talents and they should use them. I'm not sure if he just said money wise, but I'm pretty sure he meant, fallow your dreams, or else you are a lazy old wicked self. I have no job, so ( Read more... )

How do you fight him? I feel like it's too late to do anything becuase the passover spirit gets to me. It's like I will feel like doing something and then all the sudden I'm lazy and can't get up. All I want to do is lay there in bed, like I go to bed and can't move. I can't get up and there is nothing I can do about it. But I feel God trying to ( Read more... )

God does want me to be a contortionist. I was contorting and all the sudden I felt peace and I feel like Iam in a total peaceful state. Not just becuase of the music, but becuase I was stretching. I knew right then that God was in the room. I don't know why he wants me to be a contortioinist, but I'm going to make sure I stretch every day. And I'm ( Read more... )

I dreamed that I was going to my care takers house and then she had a Dog and so it was a little one, don't know the name of it, but it was small and it was big enough that you can hold it. It had a golden brownish color that blended together. It had brown eyes and then it tried to get away from me as I was walking it and someone stopped it for me ( Read more... )

I want to record my lucid dreams, so maybe I'll record them here. First in a notebook and then here, becuase obviously I don't have much to say. So I'm turning this into a dreamjournal.