[BitchFest] 3/?
Title: Bitch Fest [3/?]
Pairing: Spot the ninja pairings <333
Genre: Crack. Fail!Humour
Summary: Hell breaks loose on the talkshow. Taeyeon and Wooyoung get scared and ditch the show entirely.
A/N: I'm still high, I blame noona. *bites her* Excuse the lame title, because I'm high lacking creativity. Oh, ignore the basic structure of English as a language, I think I broke a lot of the rules by accident. Comments are <3'd
“Welcome to our premier episode of Honesty Rocks. I am 2PM’s Wooyoung.”
“And I’m Taeyeon from So Nyuh Shi Dae. We welcome you to joining us. Today, we have Super Junior as our guests.”
“Hello everyone, we are, Super Juni~oh.” The eleven of them did their introduction, except for Sungmin and Heechul.
“Well, judging by that introduction.” Wooyoung gave Taeyeon a nudge, “I think we’re in for some real fireworks today to start off our show. In front of each guest is a touch screen where buttons will appear for you to make your choices.”
Donghae began poking at the dark screen as he stared at his reflection.
“After they appear, Donghae-sshi.” Wooyoung pointed out as Donghae gave one of his clueless smiles. Wooyoung turned slightly and nodded at Taeyeon.
“Then, the results will appear behind us, and we will ask our guests to talk about their choices. But one word of caution, they can switch votes anytime and the graph will adjust accordingly.”
“One more thing viewers at home should know. Our guests do not know who voted for what, but Taeyeon and I have a screen that lists the choices. Everyone understand?”
All of the members somewhat looked at Donghae. The man realized his spotlight and nodded excitedly.
“Well then, let’s get to it.” Taeyeon gleamed when she smirked at Heechul. “Question one: Who would make the best father in Super Junior? Guests, please cast your vote.”
On each of the touch screens flashed 13 different coloured buttons, each of them with their names on it.
After a few minutes, the graph appeared above their heads as Taeyeon immediately began laughing.
“So, it looks like we have three for Leeteuk, five for Hankyung, one for Donghae, two for Sungmin, one for Kangin and one for Kibum.”
Taeyeon covered her face with a cue card, motioning Wooyoung to keep going without her. Kangin stared her down while Taeyeon pointed at her stomach and bowed her head. Suddenly a vote was deducted from Leeteuk and added to Donghae. Eunhyuk put his fingers onto his lips at Wooyoung, telling him to be quiet about Donghae’s vote.
“I think we have some faulty machinery, does someone want to replace her? Leeteuk-sshi?” Wooyoung directed his question to the leader of the group. “Leeteuk-sshi, who did you vote for?”
“I’m actually surprised no one else voted for Kangin-sshi.” Leeteuk said, “Beneath his intimidating exterior lies a soft, wonderful man.”
Kangin blushed as the two looked at each other, Ryeowook and Siwon in the back both nodding. The votes shifted as both Sungmin and Hankyung lost a vote a piece.
“Ryeowook-sshi. I see you nodding and you changed your vote.” Wooyoung pointed his hand at Ryeowook in the second row. All the while Taeyeon had given up hosting as she fell to the ground.
“Leeteuk-hyung is right. Even though Kangin-hyung looks like he’s a trouble maker.” Both Heechul and Kyuhyun smirked at the statement. “He takes really good care of us, definitely a better hyung than Heechul-hyung.”
Heechul turned around and glared at their eternal magnae. Of all people to start pointing fingers, Heechul would have predicted that Ryeowook would not be one of them. Ryeowook smiled at him sweetly, his eternal magnae appearance covering up his poisonous tracks.
“I’m not saying he’s bad or anything…” Ryeowook tried defending his statement but it was too little too late.
“Spare it, Wookie. If raccoon face over there didn’t drink so much, I would have voted for him.” Heechul rolled his eyes as he purposefully whispered loud enough for the microphone to pick up his voice.
“Coming from the make up obsessed, self proclaimed Ice Princess ‘Heesica’, that’s actually pretty funny. Can you imagine him taking care of kids?” Kangin shot back as he held the mic in his hand. “I voted for Hankyung because he has that father aura, like you feel comfortable and safe being with him.”
“No one asked for your opinion. Why are you always so talkative and opinion orientated? Anyways, I bet he’d puke all over his kids before he realized he would need to pay attention to them.”
“Heechul-sshi, who did you choose?” Taeyeon finally regained composure and fired a question at him. “I’m surprised you didn’t vote for yourself, seeing how self-centric you act sometimes.”
“Are you implying something?” Heechul snarled at the younger girl. “I chose Sungmin, beneath that layer of cuteness lies an unbelievable side of maturity.”
“Sungmin-sshi, it says you voted for Leeteuk-sshi.” Wooyoung announced.
“Yes, Wooyoung-sshi.” Sungmin clapped his hands over his face, something he would do when he was embarrassed. “Leeteuk-hyung is a very good leader and a father figure, except for his loose mouth.”
“You should see how Sungmin acts off camera.” Leeteuk shot back. “Quite a different scene."
Kyuhyun and Ryeowook both giggled while Shindong placed a gentle hand on Sungmin’s heaving shoulder.
“At least my words are worth something.” Sungmin snapped his fingers and flicked his head. Eunhyuk continued explaining the details of the machine to Donghae as the boy phased out into nothing. Selective hearing works wonders for Donghae.
“Yah, when you and Heechul aren’t talking bad about other celebrities.”
“I think we should take a break.” Wooyoung proposed.
“NO!!” Leeteuk, Heechul and Sungmin yelled simultaneously, their heads turning and glaring at the MC.
“Okay fine.” Wooyoung tossed his cue cards into the air and relaxed on his chair as the fight unfolded.
“Sungmin-ah, I don’t think you should be talking like this.” Shindong whispered to the pink prince.
“Shut up! Don’t make me get started on you either.” Sungmin flared his nostrils. “And you, Kyuface, wipe that smirk off your oily face.”
“Wooyoung-sshi, I think you should know that…” Kyuhyun began before Sungmin jumped off his chair and covered Kyuhyun’s mouth.
“Woah, woah, guys stop it.” Yesung got up to pull the two apart before Sungmin grabbed a whack of his hair and tugged on it hard. The lead singer let out a painful whimper as he sank to the ground, begging Sungmin to let go.
“Can we please calm down?” Kibum twirled his hair in his fingers.
“Shut up Kibum, why are you so mature? You’re making us look bad.” Leeteuk screamed at the quiet boy. “Can’t you act your age sometimes?”
“Talk about maturity. You’re our fucking leader, and you go around spilling our secrets?” Heechul screamed as Hankyung tried calming him down.
“Well you need to watch your mouth. It’s not my fault you shriek at the top of your lungs every time you open that mouth of yours.”
“Donghae-sshi, aren’t you worried about what’s going on?” Taeyeon asked suddenly. Donghae was the only member still in his chair as he playfully toyed with the stylus pen.
“What’s going on again? I thought we were doing a talk show. Why aren’t people talking?” Donghae blinked at the two MCs before he directed his attention back to the screen. The graph kept on changing as Donghae pressed the pretty buttons.
“Nevermind.” Taeyeon reclined into her chair.
“So, so, at least… I don’t have smelly feet.” Heechul blurted out.
“I swear his socks burn holes in our ground.” He pointed at Eunhyuk, who pointed at Yesung on the ground.
“Well, I don’t come home half drunk all the time, retching like alcohol and sweat, moaning out Hankyung or Leeteuk’s name.” Eunhyuk fired back. “That applies to you and Kangin.”
“Keep me out of this you little bitch.” Kangin snarled at Eunhyuk.
After moments of struggle, Kyuhyun and Yesung both gave in to Sungmin as Sungmin sat on his chair and talked with the MCs. The magnae was actually threatened by the cancellation of his Starcraft 2 preorder and the latter was complaining something about not his turtle, anything but his turtle.
“As you can see, Wooyoung-sshi and Taeyeon, some of our members are not well behaved.” Sungmin winked at the camera and smiled cutely. He calmly brushed his bangs away as he blinked at the camera.
“Hyung, have you heard yourself at night?” Ryeowook spat out while trying to get Kangin off of Hankyung, who had pounced on Leeteuk for pouncing on Heechul. “Or should I show you that video I have?”
“RYEOWOOOOOOOK!!!!” Sungmin shrieked at the top of his lungs, the glass shattering scream blinded their eyes and ears.
“I really think we should cut this…” Wooyoung ducked when a chair was thrown at him.
“I agree.” Taeyeon got up and ducked when one of the toy koalas went zooming across the set, narrowily missing her. Had she been a bit taller, maybe around Tiffany’s height, the stuffed toy would have connected. The beauty of being short.
Ryeowook hid beneath one of the desks and took out his video camera as he filmed his own copy of the scene.
Yesung was yelling at Siwon about their fumbling with their new Sorry Sorry dance moves. The two began dancing their parts in the middle of the mess while Kyuhyun was on his knees in front of Sungmin, begging him not to cancel his pre-order. Kangin hoisted up Eunhyuk by his collar while Hankyung and Kibum tugged at the man to put him down. Shindong was in between Leeteuk and Heechul, where a verbal feud continued raging on and on.
Ryeowook smiled to himself. His video camera worked wonders in transferring his new found information to Leeteuk. Being the eternal magnae rocks. Seriously.
Pairing: Spot the ninja pairings <333
Genre: Crack. Fail!Humour
Summary: Hell breaks loose on the talkshow. Taeyeon and Wooyoung get scared and ditch the show entirely.
A/N: I'm still high, I blame noona. *bites her* Excuse the lame title, because I'm high lacking creativity. Oh, ignore the basic structure of English as a language, I think I broke a lot of the rules by accident. Comments are <3'd
“Welcome to our premier episode of Honesty Rocks. I am 2PM’s Wooyoung.”
“And I’m Taeyeon from So Nyuh Shi Dae. We welcome you to joining us. Today, we have Super Junior as our guests.”
“Hello everyone, we are, Super Juni~oh.” The eleven of them did their introduction, except for Sungmin and Heechul.
“Well, judging by that introduction.” Wooyoung gave Taeyeon a nudge, “I think we’re in for some real fireworks today to start off our show. In front of each guest is a touch screen where buttons will appear for you to make your choices.”
Donghae began poking at the dark screen as he stared at his reflection.
“After they appear, Donghae-sshi.” Wooyoung pointed out as Donghae gave one of his clueless smiles. Wooyoung turned slightly and nodded at Taeyeon.
“Then, the results will appear behind us, and we will ask our guests to talk about their choices. But one word of caution, they can switch votes anytime and the graph will adjust accordingly.”
“One more thing viewers at home should know. Our guests do not know who voted for what, but Taeyeon and I have a screen that lists the choices. Everyone understand?”
All of the members somewhat looked at Donghae. The man realized his spotlight and nodded excitedly.
“Well then, let’s get to it.” Taeyeon gleamed when she smirked at Heechul. “Question one: Who would make the best father in Super Junior? Guests, please cast your vote.”
On each of the touch screens flashed 13 different coloured buttons, each of them with their names on it.
After a few minutes, the graph appeared above their heads as Taeyeon immediately began laughing.
“So, it looks like we have three for Leeteuk, five for Hankyung, one for Donghae, two for Sungmin, one for Kangin and one for Kibum.”
Taeyeon covered her face with a cue card, motioning Wooyoung to keep going without her. Kangin stared her down while Taeyeon pointed at her stomach and bowed her head. Suddenly a vote was deducted from Leeteuk and added to Donghae. Eunhyuk put his fingers onto his lips at Wooyoung, telling him to be quiet about Donghae’s vote.
“I think we have some faulty machinery, does someone want to replace her? Leeteuk-sshi?” Wooyoung directed his question to the leader of the group. “Leeteuk-sshi, who did you vote for?”
“I’m actually surprised no one else voted for Kangin-sshi.” Leeteuk said, “Beneath his intimidating exterior lies a soft, wonderful man.”
Kangin blushed as the two looked at each other, Ryeowook and Siwon in the back both nodding. The votes shifted as both Sungmin and Hankyung lost a vote a piece.
“Ryeowook-sshi. I see you nodding and you changed your vote.” Wooyoung pointed his hand at Ryeowook in the second row. All the while Taeyeon had given up hosting as she fell to the ground.
“Leeteuk-hyung is right. Even though Kangin-hyung looks like he’s a trouble maker.” Both Heechul and Kyuhyun smirked at the statement. “He takes really good care of us, definitely a better hyung than Heechul-hyung.”
Heechul turned around and glared at their eternal magnae. Of all people to start pointing fingers, Heechul would have predicted that Ryeowook would not be one of them. Ryeowook smiled at him sweetly, his eternal magnae appearance covering up his poisonous tracks.
“I’m not saying he’s bad or anything…” Ryeowook tried defending his statement but it was too little too late.
“Spare it, Wookie. If raccoon face over there didn’t drink so much, I would have voted for him.” Heechul rolled his eyes as he purposefully whispered loud enough for the microphone to pick up his voice.
“Coming from the make up obsessed, self proclaimed Ice Princess ‘Heesica’, that’s actually pretty funny. Can you imagine him taking care of kids?” Kangin shot back as he held the mic in his hand. “I voted for Hankyung because he has that father aura, like you feel comfortable and safe being with him.”
“No one asked for your opinion. Why are you always so talkative and opinion orientated? Anyways, I bet he’d puke all over his kids before he realized he would need to pay attention to them.”
“Heechul-sshi, who did you choose?” Taeyeon finally regained composure and fired a question at him. “I’m surprised you didn’t vote for yourself, seeing how self-centric you act sometimes.”
“Are you implying something?” Heechul snarled at the younger girl. “I chose Sungmin, beneath that layer of cuteness lies an unbelievable side of maturity.”
“Sungmin-sshi, it says you voted for Leeteuk-sshi.” Wooyoung announced.
“Yes, Wooyoung-sshi.” Sungmin clapped his hands over his face, something he would do when he was embarrassed. “Leeteuk-hyung is a very good leader and a father figure, except for his loose mouth.”
“You should see how Sungmin acts off camera.” Leeteuk shot back. “Quite a different scene."
Kyuhyun and Ryeowook both giggled while Shindong placed a gentle hand on Sungmin’s heaving shoulder.
“At least my words are worth something.” Sungmin snapped his fingers and flicked his head. Eunhyuk continued explaining the details of the machine to Donghae as the boy phased out into nothing. Selective hearing works wonders for Donghae.
“Yah, when you and Heechul aren’t talking bad about other celebrities.”
“I think we should take a break.” Wooyoung proposed.
“NO!!” Leeteuk, Heechul and Sungmin yelled simultaneously, their heads turning and glaring at the MC.
“Okay fine.” Wooyoung tossed his cue cards into the air and relaxed on his chair as the fight unfolded.
“Sungmin-ah, I don’t think you should be talking like this.” Shindong whispered to the pink prince.
“Shut up! Don’t make me get started on you either.” Sungmin flared his nostrils. “And you, Kyuface, wipe that smirk off your oily face.”
“Wooyoung-sshi, I think you should know that…” Kyuhyun began before Sungmin jumped off his chair and covered Kyuhyun’s mouth.
“Woah, woah, guys stop it.” Yesung got up to pull the two apart before Sungmin grabbed a whack of his hair and tugged on it hard. The lead singer let out a painful whimper as he sank to the ground, begging Sungmin to let go.
“Can we please calm down?” Kibum twirled his hair in his fingers.
“Shut up Kibum, why are you so mature? You’re making us look bad.” Leeteuk screamed at the quiet boy. “Can’t you act your age sometimes?”
“Talk about maturity. You’re our fucking leader, and you go around spilling our secrets?” Heechul screamed as Hankyung tried calming him down.
“Well you need to watch your mouth. It’s not my fault you shriek at the top of your lungs every time you open that mouth of yours.”
“Donghae-sshi, aren’t you worried about what’s going on?” Taeyeon asked suddenly. Donghae was the only member still in his chair as he playfully toyed with the stylus pen.
“What’s going on again? I thought we were doing a talk show. Why aren’t people talking?” Donghae blinked at the two MCs before he directed his attention back to the screen. The graph kept on changing as Donghae pressed the pretty buttons.
“Nevermind.” Taeyeon reclined into her chair.
“So, so, at least… I don’t have smelly feet.” Heechul blurted out.
“I swear his socks burn holes in our ground.” He pointed at Eunhyuk, who pointed at Yesung on the ground.
“Well, I don’t come home half drunk all the time, retching like alcohol and sweat, moaning out Hankyung or Leeteuk’s name.” Eunhyuk fired back. “That applies to you and Kangin.”
“Keep me out of this you little bitch.” Kangin snarled at Eunhyuk.
After moments of struggle, Kyuhyun and Yesung both gave in to Sungmin as Sungmin sat on his chair and talked with the MCs. The magnae was actually threatened by the cancellation of his Starcraft 2 preorder and the latter was complaining something about not his turtle, anything but his turtle.
“As you can see, Wooyoung-sshi and Taeyeon, some of our members are not well behaved.” Sungmin winked at the camera and smiled cutely. He calmly brushed his bangs away as he blinked at the camera.
“Hyung, have you heard yourself at night?” Ryeowook spat out while trying to get Kangin off of Hankyung, who had pounced on Leeteuk for pouncing on Heechul. “Or should I show you that video I have?”
“RYEOWOOOOOOOK!!!!” Sungmin shrieked at the top of his lungs, the glass shattering scream blinded their eyes and ears.
“I really think we should cut this…” Wooyoung ducked when a chair was thrown at him.
“I agree.” Taeyeon got up and ducked when one of the toy koalas went zooming across the set, narrowily missing her. Had she been a bit taller, maybe around Tiffany’s height, the stuffed toy would have connected. The beauty of being short.
Ryeowook hid beneath one of the desks and took out his video camera as he filmed his own copy of the scene.
Yesung was yelling at Siwon about their fumbling with their new Sorry Sorry dance moves. The two began dancing their parts in the middle of the mess while Kyuhyun was on his knees in front of Sungmin, begging him not to cancel his pre-order. Kangin hoisted up Eunhyuk by his collar while Hankyung and Kibum tugged at the man to put him down. Shindong was in between Leeteuk and Heechul, where a verbal feud continued raging on and on.
Ryeowook smiled to himself. His video camera worked wonders in transferring his new found information to Leeteuk. Being the eternal magnae rocks. Seriously.