[KangMin] Romance <3
Title: Eyes of Fear
Pairing: Kangmin, ninja YeWon, hinted KangTeuk, HaeMin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Angst
Summary: People hold onto things because they’re afraid nothing good will ever happen to them again. Kangin did exactly that in hopes of saving his friendship with Sungmin.
A/N: Lalalala I'm retarded. I miss writing Kangmin (confession: one of my early OTPs). I've been bugging people way too often, they know who they are (not that they'll read this anyways). Man I moodswing hard *BITES. Comments are <3'd. Thank you readers, comment or no, for taking time to read any of my pieces. I don't think I've ever really taken time to thank my readers. *bows* Thank you.
There was always something different going on with Sungmin. A more accurate interpretation on his part would be how Youngwoon treated Sungmin. Both of them had been the earlier of the members announced to be taking part in their group, and since their first meeting, there was something different about Lee Sungmin.
Perhaps it was his not-so-subtle femininity, or his frugalness despite his family business, or maybe it was simply the way he made Youngwoon feel whenever their skin made contact. There was just something particular about him. Naturally, he had been tempted, almost to the point of attraction, to pester him on and off stage, much to Sungmin’s willingness and disproval. He just had a soft spot for this dongsaeng, Youngwoon assured himself when Sungmin playfully slapped his arm.
Everybody found it weird that Youngwoon and Sungmin had developed a strong friendship in the midst of intense training and last minute scrambles in preparation for their debut. Polar opposites could be used to describe Kim Youngwoon and Lee Sungmin. Maybe the saying that opposite attracts were indeed correct.
Kangin really liked Sungmin as a friend (despite Kangin assuring himself that he still wanted kids and a family one day. Despite his envisions of himself spending the rest of his life with Sungmin). One way or another the pair began drifting apart. At one point, Kangin thought it was the skinship with Leeteuk, but he only mirrored the fanservices Sungmin performed with Donghae and Kyuhyun. Eventually they found themselves on Intimate Note, a variety show meant to mend broken bonds and forge stronger existing ones between group members.
People hold onto things because they’re afraid nothing good will ever happen to them again. Youngwoon held onto Sungmin because he was afraid. He was afraid of admitting his feelings towards the younger man. Driven to an almost nightly basis, Youngwoon found himself losing sleep because of how indifferent Sungmin felt towards him. His cowardice led to a cold war, maybe about four months, between the two as they drifted even further.
Kangin never would have thought that the harder he wanted to hold onto Sungmin, flesh and heart alike, the harder the backlash. Kangin never would have thought that his once caring touches transfigured his pleas of kindness into fear, his utmost desires merely treated as resentments by the younger man, and the long forgotten feelings bliss morphed into horror.
It was never the same anymore and Kangin gradually found himself abusing alcohol to resolve his problems. The other members, Leeteuk and Yesung in particular, insisted that he had a drinking habit. But really, wine was one of the first things Sungmin and he shared in common, a common denominator that was shared by a few of the members, meaning more chances of alone time with Sungmin. Every time Kangin delicately gripped the thin stem of the wine glass, he would reminisce the happy moments with Sungmin. Dark ruby reds to the pale glistening whites, the fragrant, ice wines to the fizzy sparkling wines, each brought forth a distinct fragment of Sungmin, fragments of Sungmin-centric memories that Youngwoon was unwilling to discard.
Kangin gradually fell into a routine of drinking, often also insisting on taking the car. Result: severe migraines whenever he woke up, having no idea how he ended up on his or someone else’s couch. One night, he ended up crashing his car and getting charged with a DUI. Everyone was worried, Sungmin included, but it just wasn’t the same anymore. Kangin knew that Sungmin was afraid of him, but he didn’t know what part of himself made Sungmin shun away. They weren’t like that before, so what sparked this sudden difference in their friendship. Was it simply of the growing void of indifference?
Youngwoon cried, by himself, with the group, with Leeteuk whenever he had his emotional moments, with Heechul whenever he came to vent about Hankyung ignoring him (when really he was busy in China with the Super Junior M promotions), with Yesung and Siwon whenever they had some relationship problems, with Ryeowook whenever the eternal magnae had whipped up a new dish he learned in China, with Donghae whenever he missed his father (Donghae told him that Kangin reminded him most of his father, who had passed away with cancer), with his parents during his sporadic, scarce visits, with his non-entertainment industry friends whenever they crashed at the bars. It was as if nothing changed.
Lee Sungmin, on the other hand, had changed. It will never be the same anymore. Sungmin cried just as much, if not more, whenever the two was alone. Youngwoon would hold him tight while he sobbed, sometimes cradling him until his tears ran dry, other times briefly before he had to leave for another schedule. Youngwoon would hold him until he whimpered in his sleep, until he would wake up and apologize for taking up his time.
One particular night, later than usual when the light, almost inaudible knocks echoed inside his flat, Sungmin finally revealed his suppressed feelings. He came up tipsy, his left hand still holding onto a half filled bottle of wine. His feelings, which turned out to be his reasons (he insisted it had been his excuses) for why their friendship had drifted apart to begin with. He was simply afraid. He was incompetent and afraid of his feelings for Youngwoon.
Sungmin, once again, nestled in his embrace as he drifted off into deep slumber. Kangin, or was he Youngwoon, looked down at Sungmin one last time. ‘Kangin’ didn’t even know if he wanted to accept Sungmin’s proposed feelings, because it will never be the same anymore. Kangin knew that, and Kangin knew Sungmin knew that point better than he did.
Sungmin woke up the next morning when a ray of sunshine pierced through Kangin’s curtains. A rush of fragrant aromas, fried egg and pancakes, wafted up his nose as Sungmin looked at the kitchen.
“Kangin-ah, are you making breakfast?” Sungmin sat up from the sofa after he picked up two cushions he had kicked off during his sleep.
“Yeah, I am.” Kangin responded quietly.
“But you never make breakfast.” Sungmin’s eyes were again filled with fear. It felt eerie seeing Kangin perform such domestic household activities. It looked like Kangin had been possessed by aliens (Donghae would flail at that idea).
“People change, right Min?” Kangin saw Sungmin look down momentarily, his eyes flushed with regret. Both Kangin and Sungmin remembered what had happened last night, haunting wisps threading thin lines of regret around their fragile bond.
“I guess I should leave. I have bothered you enough.” Sungmin scrambled to his feet and scurried to the doors. Kangin looked at his backside, savoring his soft body and wishing he could claim it once more. Throwing his head back, his eyes clenched tight and his teeth biting down hard on his bottom lip, Kangin reached for his wrists.
“I love you.” Kangin whispered softly as he opened his eyes once more. It was as if nothing changed. Once again, Sungmin’s eyes dotted with fear as he tried escaping from Kangin’s grip. His futile attempts were useless as Kangin pinned him on the spot.
“I love you. I really, really love you.” Kangin whispered again, louder this time. Sungmin stopped
“You…what?” Sungmin blinked back the confusion in his eyes. His hesitancy already proved to Kangin that what he said last night was true.
“I love you.” Kangin leaned in closer, narrowing their distance. He felt Sungmin’s uneasy breaths dance on his cheek. “I love you.”
“Kangin-hyung.” Sungmin pouted his head away from Kangin’s gaze. His cheek flushed a faint shade of pink and Kangin knew it wasn’t a morning rash.
“Sungmin-ah.” Kangin hooked onto Sungmin’s chin and made the younger man face him. Kangin closed his eyes and leaned forward, there was nothing else worth holding onto. It was all or nothing. Kangin was sick of holding onto nothing but faded memories. You make good things happen again, you don’t wait for people to hand them to you tied up in a pretty purple ribbon. It was never the same anymore.
People hold onto things because they’re afraid nothing good will ever happen to them again. Kangin begged to differ.
Pairing: Kangmin, ninja YeWon, hinted KangTeuk, HaeMin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Angst
Summary: People hold onto things because they’re afraid nothing good will ever happen to them again. Kangin did exactly that in hopes of saving his friendship with Sungmin.
A/N: Lalalala I'm retarded. I miss writing Kangmin (confession: one of my early OTPs). I've been bugging people way too often, they know who they are (not that they'll read this anyways). Man I moodswing hard *BITES. Comments are <3'd. Thank you readers, comment or no, for taking time to read any of my pieces. I don't think I've ever really taken time to thank my readers. *bows* Thank you.
There was always something different going on with Sungmin. A more accurate interpretation on his part would be how Youngwoon treated Sungmin. Both of them had been the earlier of the members announced to be taking part in their group, and since their first meeting, there was something different about Lee Sungmin.
Perhaps it was his not-so-subtle femininity, or his frugalness despite his family business, or maybe it was simply the way he made Youngwoon feel whenever their skin made contact. There was just something particular about him. Naturally, he had been tempted, almost to the point of attraction, to pester him on and off stage, much to Sungmin’s willingness and disproval. He just had a soft spot for this dongsaeng, Youngwoon assured himself when Sungmin playfully slapped his arm.
Everybody found it weird that Youngwoon and Sungmin had developed a strong friendship in the midst of intense training and last minute scrambles in preparation for their debut. Polar opposites could be used to describe Kim Youngwoon and Lee Sungmin. Maybe the saying that opposite attracts were indeed correct.
Kangin really liked Sungmin as a friend (despite Kangin assuring himself that he still wanted kids and a family one day. Despite his envisions of himself spending the rest of his life with Sungmin). One way or another the pair began drifting apart. At one point, Kangin thought it was the skinship with Leeteuk, but he only mirrored the fanservices Sungmin performed with Donghae and Kyuhyun. Eventually they found themselves on Intimate Note, a variety show meant to mend broken bonds and forge stronger existing ones between group members.
People hold onto things because they’re afraid nothing good will ever happen to them again. Youngwoon held onto Sungmin because he was afraid. He was afraid of admitting his feelings towards the younger man. Driven to an almost nightly basis, Youngwoon found himself losing sleep because of how indifferent Sungmin felt towards him. His cowardice led to a cold war, maybe about four months, between the two as they drifted even further.
Kangin never would have thought that the harder he wanted to hold onto Sungmin, flesh and heart alike, the harder the backlash. Kangin never would have thought that his once caring touches transfigured his pleas of kindness into fear, his utmost desires merely treated as resentments by the younger man, and the long forgotten feelings bliss morphed into horror.
It was never the same anymore and Kangin gradually found himself abusing alcohol to resolve his problems. The other members, Leeteuk and Yesung in particular, insisted that he had a drinking habit. But really, wine was one of the first things Sungmin and he shared in common, a common denominator that was shared by a few of the members, meaning more chances of alone time with Sungmin. Every time Kangin delicately gripped the thin stem of the wine glass, he would reminisce the happy moments with Sungmin. Dark ruby reds to the pale glistening whites, the fragrant, ice wines to the fizzy sparkling wines, each brought forth a distinct fragment of Sungmin, fragments of Sungmin-centric memories that Youngwoon was unwilling to discard.
Kangin gradually fell into a routine of drinking, often also insisting on taking the car. Result: severe migraines whenever he woke up, having no idea how he ended up on his or someone else’s couch. One night, he ended up crashing his car and getting charged with a DUI. Everyone was worried, Sungmin included, but it just wasn’t the same anymore. Kangin knew that Sungmin was afraid of him, but he didn’t know what part of himself made Sungmin shun away. They weren’t like that before, so what sparked this sudden difference in their friendship. Was it simply of the growing void of indifference?
Youngwoon cried, by himself, with the group, with Leeteuk whenever he had his emotional moments, with Heechul whenever he came to vent about Hankyung ignoring him (when really he was busy in China with the Super Junior M promotions), with Yesung and Siwon whenever they had some relationship problems, with Ryeowook whenever the eternal magnae had whipped up a new dish he learned in China, with Donghae whenever he missed his father (Donghae told him that Kangin reminded him most of his father, who had passed away with cancer), with his parents during his sporadic, scarce visits, with his non-entertainment industry friends whenever they crashed at the bars. It was as if nothing changed.
Lee Sungmin, on the other hand, had changed. It will never be the same anymore. Sungmin cried just as much, if not more, whenever the two was alone. Youngwoon would hold him tight while he sobbed, sometimes cradling him until his tears ran dry, other times briefly before he had to leave for another schedule. Youngwoon would hold him until he whimpered in his sleep, until he would wake up and apologize for taking up his time.
One particular night, later than usual when the light, almost inaudible knocks echoed inside his flat, Sungmin finally revealed his suppressed feelings. He came up tipsy, his left hand still holding onto a half filled bottle of wine. His feelings, which turned out to be his reasons (he insisted it had been his excuses) for why their friendship had drifted apart to begin with. He was simply afraid. He was incompetent and afraid of his feelings for Youngwoon.
Sungmin, once again, nestled in his embrace as he drifted off into deep slumber. Kangin, or was he Youngwoon, looked down at Sungmin one last time. ‘Kangin’ didn’t even know if he wanted to accept Sungmin’s proposed feelings, because it will never be the same anymore. Kangin knew that, and Kangin knew Sungmin knew that point better than he did.
Sungmin woke up the next morning when a ray of sunshine pierced through Kangin’s curtains. A rush of fragrant aromas, fried egg and pancakes, wafted up his nose as Sungmin looked at the kitchen.
“Kangin-ah, are you making breakfast?” Sungmin sat up from the sofa after he picked up two cushions he had kicked off during his sleep.
“Yeah, I am.” Kangin responded quietly.
“But you never make breakfast.” Sungmin’s eyes were again filled with fear. It felt eerie seeing Kangin perform such domestic household activities. It looked like Kangin had been possessed by aliens (Donghae would flail at that idea).
“People change, right Min?” Kangin saw Sungmin look down momentarily, his eyes flushed with regret. Both Kangin and Sungmin remembered what had happened last night, haunting wisps threading thin lines of regret around their fragile bond.
“I guess I should leave. I have bothered you enough.” Sungmin scrambled to his feet and scurried to the doors. Kangin looked at his backside, savoring his soft body and wishing he could claim it once more. Throwing his head back, his eyes clenched tight and his teeth biting down hard on his bottom lip, Kangin reached for his wrists.
“I love you.” Kangin whispered softly as he opened his eyes once more. It was as if nothing changed. Once again, Sungmin’s eyes dotted with fear as he tried escaping from Kangin’s grip. His futile attempts were useless as Kangin pinned him on the spot.
“I love you. I really, really love you.” Kangin whispered again, louder this time. Sungmin stopped
“You…what?” Sungmin blinked back the confusion in his eyes. His hesitancy already proved to Kangin that what he said last night was true.
“I love you.” Kangin leaned in closer, narrowing their distance. He felt Sungmin’s uneasy breaths dance on his cheek. “I love you.”
“Kangin-hyung.” Sungmin pouted his head away from Kangin’s gaze. His cheek flushed a faint shade of pink and Kangin knew it wasn’t a morning rash.
“Sungmin-ah.” Kangin hooked onto Sungmin’s chin and made the younger man face him. Kangin closed his eyes and leaned forward, there was nothing else worth holding onto. It was all or nothing. Kangin was sick of holding onto nothing but faded memories. You make good things happen again, you don’t wait for people to hand them to you tied up in a pretty purple ribbon. It was never the same anymore.
People hold onto things because they’re afraid nothing good will ever happen to them again. Kangin begged to differ.