[The Past] Haemin
Title: The Past
Pairing: Haemin, Hyukmin
Cameo: Leeteuk, Hyukjae
Genre: Romance, Fluff very slight Angst
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Donghae recalls his memories with Sungmin, how they had went through a lot of hardships together, how they grew up together.
A/N: For onetruemei because I LOVE HER <333. Also for genisaurion because he wrote me a kangmin piece. Personally, I liked this drabble, like how it turned out and stuff (a bit cliche.. but <3). Time to get cracking at KyuSung soon. Comments are much appreciated.
I still remember the first day I met him. We had both participated in the same contest sponsored by SM. Before I saw him, I went in with a state of mind that the contest was everything. That was my mindset; I was in it for victory, not friendships, so I could finally have a shot at entering a company and fulfilling my dream of becoming a celebrity.
~ /// ~
“I want you guys to get into pairs and introduce yourselves.” The man in charge had hollered over with a speaker phone. “Talk with the other person, find something in common, anything. We will begin shortly, so you might as well get to know your competition in the meantime.”
I turned around, looking at a few of the hundreds of participants. Some of them seemed lost and confused; others were shifting and fidgeting uncomfortably. A few of them looked like they signed up for the wrong thing. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I instantly felt the air around me constrict.
“I’m Sungmin.” The boy held out his hand, motioning for a handshake. He peered down at my name tag. “Nice to meet you, Donghae.”
Breathing suddenly felt difficult, and I was sure it wasn’t because of poor ventilation or the over crowdedness of the room, though it might have had an effect.
We exchanged contact information and we talked a bit after the preliminary interviews, It was Sungmin who had walked up and grabbed my arm as we were leaving the building. He told me that his father owned a company, he had a younger brother, and his favourite colour was pink. He asked me why I wasn’t talking, and I made up some excuse that I wasn’t very social and I had trouble presenting myself in front of other people. He claimed he was the same and massaged my shoulders, chatting away and claiming that we had a lot in common.
But really, I was at a lost for words. There was a definite attraction about him that made my stomach flip around whenever he talked with me. Something inexplicable, there was something there that just pried me to get to know him better.
It was no surprise that we both made it to the final 50 contestants, which was narrowed down to 25. I was taken by shock that I had made it to the final 10 despite doing poorly during an interview, where Sungmin constantly tried covering my mistakes, probably costing him a few points as well. We stood beside each other during the second last leg of the contest, having judges dissect our profiles, the way we presented ourselves, the way we talked.
He gave me a warm smile and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Glad we’re still here.” He gave my shoulder a warm squeeze before he was called to step forward. He was chosen for the final five and I saw his shoulders relax. He took a quick bow, said a few thanks before he turned around. His smile was radiating brilliance and I felt myself return a weak smile.
Then my name was called out, and surprisingly enough I had made the final cut as well. Everything was a haze and things were flying by so fast I had no idea what to process and what to skip. I wasn’t very good at paying attention, teachers often commented that I had a short attention span and I daydreamt a lot, so I wasn’t surprised when an official dismissed me and I wobbled backstage. I just remembered walking back and he held me, hugging me hard as we danced about awkwardly in a circle, legs fumbling and wobbling like a pair of young children.
“We made it.” He hollered and grabbed my hand, throwing both our limbs into the air in a loud celebrating cheer. All I noticed was his hand, the softness and the enticing warmth, holding onto my own as we cheered backstage.
After that day, winning the competition didn’t matter anymore. He called me two days before the announcing of the results, asking me if I wanted to meet up with him.
At the coffee shop, he offered to buy me a juice, caffeine wasn’t a very good choice just before our final judging, since he was older, and I couldn’t argue because he had already stuffed over a 10,000 won note over to the cashier.
“I hope you win this.” He said happily as he put down his bottle. His tone was calm, as usual, and he looked sincerely at me. He laughed at my reaction before he took another swig of his juice.
“But, don’t you want to win too?”
“Yeah, I guess. But you’re really cute. I can see myself buying your album or something.” He remarked before he punched me on the arm when silence ensued between our conversation.
“Hyung…” I couldn’t even formulate words as I stuttered out a response. Did he really just call me cute?
“I’m not that much older. Just call me Sungmin.” He laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to his body. “Come on! Let’s go to the amusement park!! My treat.”
~ /// ~
I still remember that day when they announced a double victory. Everything felt surreal, like fate was predestined for us to continue our dream together. Things seemed almost too perfect.
“Lee Sungmin and Lee Donghae, we have decided on a double victory for the pair of you.”
We turned to each other simultaneously, grins stretching across our face as we literally fell down in an embrace.
“Hae! Donghae-ah.” He cried, tears of joy streaming down his face. I knew I was a mess of hot tears. Just before we went on stage for the last time, he pulled me aside and told me that no matter what happens, I’m still his friend. I nodded quickly before the backstage people pushed us up the stairs.
~ /// ~
I still remember the first day we officially set foot into the company as trainees; we were immediately pushed inside a small room with a change of clothes shoved into our hands. A woman in her young twenties, hair clipped into a bun and impatiently tapping her ink pen against her clipboard, ushered us to hurry up, all the while shooting instructions and random rules at us. I vaguely remember something about working with other trainees before we were shoved into another room, where we signed documents and verified information.
Unfortunately, we were placed into different training groups, or rather; we were paired off with two other trainees who had already been training for two years. I was placed with Jungsu and he was assigned to work with Hyukjae. I don’t remember anything being so difficult. Singing practice, dancing practice, regular fitness programs and strict diets, it felt like we were being carved, bit by bit, into perfection.
Naturally, he grew closer with Hyukjae, as did Jungsu and myself. The four of us played together whenever we were given a day off. But things were different. Sungmin would always link arms with Hyukjae and the pair of them would run off ahead, with Jungsu and me trailing behind them. They had a smaller age gap, with Sungmin only three months older, so they would have gotten along better. Jungsu was three years older, and it was naturally harder to be more casual a hyung.
I could only stand from afar, bitter jealousy coating glossy layers over my eyes, as you two continued prancing around like you were joined by the hip. The way you would wrap your arms around him and I felt a tight clutch against my heart, wishing that it was me leaning into your embrace, like the way it had always been. The way he whispered into your ear and you exploded in a fit of laughter, I remember you telling me that no one else was able to make you laugh as much as I did. The way you would both feed each other during lunch time, Hyukjae often purposely spilling food everywhere for laughs. It should have been me in that position, not him. We went through everything together. I didn’t even care about winning that dumb, superficial contest. I was ready to give that up if it meant that I could hold onto our friendship, if I could hold onto you, onto us.
I couldn’t help but feel bitter, a strong sense of resentment towards SM for splitting us up and creating a gorge between us. It was the company’s fault for distancing our friendship, and I hated that. I had enough seeing you and Hyukjae frolic around.
“No, you’re not quitting.” Sungmin wrapped his arms around my waist as he stopped me from walking. I didn’t even recall the last time he was so intimate with me before I realized he was being all touchy with Hyukjae.
“Why do you even care?” I shrugged him off and continued walking towards the management office. “I’ve had enough of this shit.”
“Hae, you can’t leave.” Sungmin sprinted forward and stood in my path.
“Why can’t I?” I shoved him aside, harder than I had intended as he collided with the wall. “Why do you care about what I do?”
“Because this is your dream.” Sungmin reached out and held my wrist. “This was our dream, and we finally made it. How can you just give up right now, you’re not a quitter. I know you aren’t.”
“Since when did you care, and, and maybe I am a quitter.” I snapped back at him, casually throwing out meaningless words and simultaneously throwing away his hand. “Maybe you don’t even know who I am. You’re spending so much time with Hyukjae anyways.”
“Hae.” Sungmin stood in front of my path again and grabbed my shoulders. “Lee Donghae.”
“What do you want! Let me go.” I tried shrugging him away before he overpowered me and pinned me against the wall. His face was a mere inch away from mine.
“Donghae-ah.” He looked like he was about to cry, his soft lips trembling and moisture gathering at the corner of his eyes. “Hae. Don’t leave me. I can’t do it without you.”
“But you have Hyukjae, and Jungsu too.” I spat my sarcastic remarks at him and a tear rolled down his cheek. “I’m sure you can do it, you’re smart and talented an-”
I finally stopped talking when his head drooped lower and lower, to the point where I was looking at the crown of his head. My impulsive words must have meant a lot to him because he began sobbing, his grip on my shoulder softening before he let go of me entirely.
“Hae…” He burst into fresh tears as he slinked towards the floor. My heart wrinkled and the anger was gone as he broke down in front of me. It was usually me who did the crying. His sobbing escalating until he let go on my shoulders as he fell down onto the ground.
“Hae, you’re more important than them.” He curled up into a ball and a pang of regret stabbed at my stomach. “Donghae-ah, don’t leave me here…”
I kneeled down and he looked up at me with his sparkling, doe eyes, the pair of dark orbs pleading for forgiveness.
“Hae, you can’t leave me. I will die without you.” His voice sounded exactly like the day when he said that he wanted me to win the contest, genuine and honest. “Donghae-ah…”
“Sungmin…” His hand reached towards me and I naturally eased away before I realized it was Sungmin. I had always trusted him, and I relaxed, letting his hand glaze over the wet trail and wiping the tears away from my face. His hard was warm and soft, just like the first time when he grabbed mine out of happiness when we both had made it to the final five. His other hand reached for the other side of my cheek as he held me in place.
“Hae…” He whispered softly as he continued staring at me, his eyes sparkling from his own tears. I closed my eyes, feeling another drop escape from the corner as it slid down my cheek, as he reached forward and kissed me. My hands reached for the back of his neck as I returned his kiss, our bodies shifting around into a more comfortable position.
Finally, I pushed him away, ending our first kiss, as we both panted for air. I wiped the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand and covered up my gleeful smile.
“Hae, I’m sorry. Oh god…” Sungmin shook his head and immediately stood up. He stole a quick glance at me before redirecting his attention to the wall behind me. “Hae, I should go.”
He spun around on his heels before I grabbed his wrist. I felt his whole body relax when I tugged at his arm, indirectly asking him to turn around.
“I can’t live without you either.” I admitted and he smiled at me, our fingers lacing together. “I don’t want to be here without you.”
Pairing: Haemin, Hyukmin
Cameo: Leeteuk, Hyukjae
Genre: Romance, Fluff very slight Angst
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Donghae recalls his memories with Sungmin, how they had went through a lot of hardships together, how they grew up together.
A/N: For onetruemei because I LOVE HER <333. Also for genisaurion because he wrote me a kangmin piece. Personally, I liked this drabble, like how it turned out and stuff (a bit cliche.. but <3). Time to get cracking at KyuSung soon. Comments are much appreciated.
I still remember the first day I met him. We had both participated in the same contest sponsored by SM. Before I saw him, I went in with a state of mind that the contest was everything. That was my mindset; I was in it for victory, not friendships, so I could finally have a shot at entering a company and fulfilling my dream of becoming a celebrity.
~ /// ~
“I want you guys to get into pairs and introduce yourselves.” The man in charge had hollered over with a speaker phone. “Talk with the other person, find something in common, anything. We will begin shortly, so you might as well get to know your competition in the meantime.”
I turned around, looking at a few of the hundreds of participants. Some of them seemed lost and confused; others were shifting and fidgeting uncomfortably. A few of them looked like they signed up for the wrong thing. I felt a tap on my shoulder and I instantly felt the air around me constrict.
“I’m Sungmin.” The boy held out his hand, motioning for a handshake. He peered down at my name tag. “Nice to meet you, Donghae.”
Breathing suddenly felt difficult, and I was sure it wasn’t because of poor ventilation or the over crowdedness of the room, though it might have had an effect.
We exchanged contact information and we talked a bit after the preliminary interviews, It was Sungmin who had walked up and grabbed my arm as we were leaving the building. He told me that his father owned a company, he had a younger brother, and his favourite colour was pink. He asked me why I wasn’t talking, and I made up some excuse that I wasn’t very social and I had trouble presenting myself in front of other people. He claimed he was the same and massaged my shoulders, chatting away and claiming that we had a lot in common.
But really, I was at a lost for words. There was a definite attraction about him that made my stomach flip around whenever he talked with me. Something inexplicable, there was something there that just pried me to get to know him better.
It was no surprise that we both made it to the final 50 contestants, which was narrowed down to 25. I was taken by shock that I had made it to the final 10 despite doing poorly during an interview, where Sungmin constantly tried covering my mistakes, probably costing him a few points as well. We stood beside each other during the second last leg of the contest, having judges dissect our profiles, the way we presented ourselves, the way we talked.
He gave me a warm smile and placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Glad we’re still here.” He gave my shoulder a warm squeeze before he was called to step forward. He was chosen for the final five and I saw his shoulders relax. He took a quick bow, said a few thanks before he turned around. His smile was radiating brilliance and I felt myself return a weak smile.
Then my name was called out, and surprisingly enough I had made the final cut as well. Everything was a haze and things were flying by so fast I had no idea what to process and what to skip. I wasn’t very good at paying attention, teachers often commented that I had a short attention span and I daydreamt a lot, so I wasn’t surprised when an official dismissed me and I wobbled backstage. I just remembered walking back and he held me, hugging me hard as we danced about awkwardly in a circle, legs fumbling and wobbling like a pair of young children.
“We made it.” He hollered and grabbed my hand, throwing both our limbs into the air in a loud celebrating cheer. All I noticed was his hand, the softness and the enticing warmth, holding onto my own as we cheered backstage.
After that day, winning the competition didn’t matter anymore. He called me two days before the announcing of the results, asking me if I wanted to meet up with him.
At the coffee shop, he offered to buy me a juice, caffeine wasn’t a very good choice just before our final judging, since he was older, and I couldn’t argue because he had already stuffed over a 10,000 won note over to the cashier.
“I hope you win this.” He said happily as he put down his bottle. His tone was calm, as usual, and he looked sincerely at me. He laughed at my reaction before he took another swig of his juice.
“But, don’t you want to win too?”
“Yeah, I guess. But you’re really cute. I can see myself buying your album or something.” He remarked before he punched me on the arm when silence ensued between our conversation.
“Hyung…” I couldn’t even formulate words as I stuttered out a response. Did he really just call me cute?
“I’m not that much older. Just call me Sungmin.” He laughed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to his body. “Come on! Let’s go to the amusement park!! My treat.”
~ /// ~
I still remember that day when they announced a double victory. Everything felt surreal, like fate was predestined for us to continue our dream together. Things seemed almost too perfect.
“Lee Sungmin and Lee Donghae, we have decided on a double victory for the pair of you.”
We turned to each other simultaneously, grins stretching across our face as we literally fell down in an embrace.
“Hae! Donghae-ah.” He cried, tears of joy streaming down his face. I knew I was a mess of hot tears. Just before we went on stage for the last time, he pulled me aside and told me that no matter what happens, I’m still his friend. I nodded quickly before the backstage people pushed us up the stairs.
~ /// ~
I still remember the first day we officially set foot into the company as trainees; we were immediately pushed inside a small room with a change of clothes shoved into our hands. A woman in her young twenties, hair clipped into a bun and impatiently tapping her ink pen against her clipboard, ushered us to hurry up, all the while shooting instructions and random rules at us. I vaguely remember something about working with other trainees before we were shoved into another room, where we signed documents and verified information.
Unfortunately, we were placed into different training groups, or rather; we were paired off with two other trainees who had already been training for two years. I was placed with Jungsu and he was assigned to work with Hyukjae. I don’t remember anything being so difficult. Singing practice, dancing practice, regular fitness programs and strict diets, it felt like we were being carved, bit by bit, into perfection.
Naturally, he grew closer with Hyukjae, as did Jungsu and myself. The four of us played together whenever we were given a day off. But things were different. Sungmin would always link arms with Hyukjae and the pair of them would run off ahead, with Jungsu and me trailing behind them. They had a smaller age gap, with Sungmin only three months older, so they would have gotten along better. Jungsu was three years older, and it was naturally harder to be more casual a hyung.
I could only stand from afar, bitter jealousy coating glossy layers over my eyes, as you two continued prancing around like you were joined by the hip. The way you would wrap your arms around him and I felt a tight clutch against my heart, wishing that it was me leaning into your embrace, like the way it had always been. The way he whispered into your ear and you exploded in a fit of laughter, I remember you telling me that no one else was able to make you laugh as much as I did. The way you would both feed each other during lunch time, Hyukjae often purposely spilling food everywhere for laughs. It should have been me in that position, not him. We went through everything together. I didn’t even care about winning that dumb, superficial contest. I was ready to give that up if it meant that I could hold onto our friendship, if I could hold onto you, onto us.
I couldn’t help but feel bitter, a strong sense of resentment towards SM for splitting us up and creating a gorge between us. It was the company’s fault for distancing our friendship, and I hated that. I had enough seeing you and Hyukjae frolic around.
“No, you’re not quitting.” Sungmin wrapped his arms around my waist as he stopped me from walking. I didn’t even recall the last time he was so intimate with me before I realized he was being all touchy with Hyukjae.
“Why do you even care?” I shrugged him off and continued walking towards the management office. “I’ve had enough of this shit.”
“Hae, you can’t leave.” Sungmin sprinted forward and stood in my path.
“Why can’t I?” I shoved him aside, harder than I had intended as he collided with the wall. “Why do you care about what I do?”
“Because this is your dream.” Sungmin reached out and held my wrist. “This was our dream, and we finally made it. How can you just give up right now, you’re not a quitter. I know you aren’t.”
“Since when did you care, and, and maybe I am a quitter.” I snapped back at him, casually throwing out meaningless words and simultaneously throwing away his hand. “Maybe you don’t even know who I am. You’re spending so much time with Hyukjae anyways.”
“Hae.” Sungmin stood in front of my path again and grabbed my shoulders. “Lee Donghae.”
“What do you want! Let me go.” I tried shrugging him away before he overpowered me and pinned me against the wall. His face was a mere inch away from mine.
“Donghae-ah.” He looked like he was about to cry, his soft lips trembling and moisture gathering at the corner of his eyes. “Hae. Don’t leave me. I can’t do it without you.”
“But you have Hyukjae, and Jungsu too.” I spat my sarcastic remarks at him and a tear rolled down his cheek. “I’m sure you can do it, you’re smart and talented an-”
I finally stopped talking when his head drooped lower and lower, to the point where I was looking at the crown of his head. My impulsive words must have meant a lot to him because he began sobbing, his grip on my shoulder softening before he let go of me entirely.
“Hae…” He burst into fresh tears as he slinked towards the floor. My heart wrinkled and the anger was gone as he broke down in front of me. It was usually me who did the crying. His sobbing escalating until he let go on my shoulders as he fell down onto the ground.
“Hae, you’re more important than them.” He curled up into a ball and a pang of regret stabbed at my stomach. “Donghae-ah, don’t leave me here…”
I kneeled down and he looked up at me with his sparkling, doe eyes, the pair of dark orbs pleading for forgiveness.
“Hae, you can’t leave me. I will die without you.” His voice sounded exactly like the day when he said that he wanted me to win the contest, genuine and honest. “Donghae-ah…”
“Sungmin…” His hand reached towards me and I naturally eased away before I realized it was Sungmin. I had always trusted him, and I relaxed, letting his hand glaze over the wet trail and wiping the tears away from my face. His hard was warm and soft, just like the first time when he grabbed mine out of happiness when we both had made it to the final five. His other hand reached for the other side of my cheek as he held me in place.
“Hae…” He whispered softly as he continued staring at me, his eyes sparkling from his own tears. I closed my eyes, feeling another drop escape from the corner as it slid down my cheek, as he reached forward and kissed me. My hands reached for the back of his neck as I returned his kiss, our bodies shifting around into a more comfortable position.
Finally, I pushed him away, ending our first kiss, as we both panted for air. I wiped the corner of my mouth with the back of my hand and covered up my gleeful smile.
“Hae, I’m sorry. Oh god…” Sungmin shook his head and immediately stood up. He stole a quick glance at me before redirecting his attention to the wall behind me. “Hae, I should go.”
He spun around on his heels before I grabbed his wrist. I felt his whole body relax when I tugged at his arm, indirectly asking him to turn around.
“I can’t live without you either.” I admitted and he smiled at me, our fingers lacing together. “I don’t want to be here without you.”