[Mean Girls - Super Junior Version]
Title: Mean Girls (Super Junior version)
Pairing: Ninja! hyukchul, hyukhae, hanmin, kyumin, hanchul, sihanchul, sichul, kihae, kangteuk, ryeowook x hotdog, yesung x viagra, zhoumi x feelings, shindong x sunny
Rating: PG-13 (language and profanity)
Genre: CRACK. Humour. AU
Summary: Lee Sungmin is the new guy in school. Parody of the movie, Mean Girls.
A/N: Unedited whatsoever. Just for the laughs. I skipped parts of the movie because I was lazy to go find it and and, I hope it's funny. I realized I could have wrote a lot more about SiChul Julius Caesar battle, and the 4way conversation, but I need to go study... PRIZE: for the person that finds the intimate note reference.
A/N: In case I majorly fuck up. Heechul = Regina George; Siwon = Gretchen Weiners; Donghae= Karen Smith; Sungmin = Cady Herring; Shindong = the guy friend; Eunhyuk = female friend that had a crush on Regina George; Hankyung = Aaron Samuels; Kangin = the coach
“Oh, you must be Sungmin, the new guy. I’m Hyukjae, but people call me Eunhyuk. This is Shindong here, he’s almost too straight to function (in a boy band that does a lot of fanservice).
Sungmin had a look of horror on his face when he looked at Hyuk-Eunhyuk. He didn’t know someone could dress in so much black, it’s like he was one of those wanna-be gothic (maybe that’s the new concept for their next single). Sungmin had already caught news that both Eunhyuk and Shindong were on the dance team.
“We’re nice people, right Shindong?” Eunhyuk elbowed Shindong, who was too busy tweeting on his phone, updating about Sunny, one of the school cheerleaders. “He has a twitter fetish, don’t mind him.”
~///~
“That’s Kim Heechul. Queen bitch. Hot headed (he dyed it flame red once), impulsive. You don’t want to mess with him, like, never confess your feelings for him. He’ll just rip you apart, step on your heart and laugh at you. He’s a bitch, a queen bitch.”
Shindong was putting his hand near his neck, making a slicing motion towards Sungmin and Sungmin knew he had to be quiet. Sungmin made out the words ‘shut up and don’t talk about it or he’ll start bawling like a little girl’.
“Oh, and that over there. That’s Choi Siwon. He knows everything about everyone. He’s rich, and his father owns a big company. He trails around Heechul like a lost puppy, wanting attention and all that.”
“Oh, and over there, that’s Lee Donghae. He’s pretty cute, except he’s not exactly the brightest bulb.” Donghae tries catching a football with his arms, but it made contact with his head and bounced away.
“He also has the best body, I mean look at those arms.”
“But Hyukjae, I thought you had a crush on Heechul.” Shindong interrupted. Hyukjae, or informally known as Eunhyuk, began crying and wailing about broken hearts.
“See what I mean?” Shindong shrugged his shoulders and started tweeting again.
~///~
“Sungmin. We’re going to get you to infiltrate into the Goddesses.” Eunhyuk whispered to him.
“The what?” Sungmin choked on his apple juice, which was a pretty difficult thing to do.
“You know, Heechul, Siwon and Donghae. They sit in that center table.” Eunhyuk pointed to the middle of the table, where Siwon and Heechul were waving like celebrities and camera flashes illuminated the area. Donghae was trying to open a pack of cheese strings.
“Oh, them.” Sungmin hesitated. “What do I have to do?”
“It’s easy. You go in and ruin Heechul’s makeup, that will set Siwon off in a preaching spree. Oh, I didn’t tell you, he’s extremely religious even though he touches anyone and anything. That preaching spree will make Donghae mad, which will always make Heechul ruin his mascara. It’s like a circular chain of events.”
Shindong felt bad for Sungmin when he nodded in agreement.
~///~
“Hey, ni yau mei yo qian bi?” A handsome man turned around and flashed a bright smile at Sungmin. (A/N: Translation is “Hey, do you have a pencil?”)
Oh my god. He’s so cute.
“W-what?”
“Oh, sorry. Do you have a pencil I can borrow?” The handsome boy asked again. His black hair was perfectly styled, and his tanned skin and oh my god his sparkling eyes.
“Here…” Sungmin shoved his entire pencil case over.
“Thanks, you’re a peach.”
Sungmin couldn’t pay attention in calculus class anymore.
~///~
“Hey Sungmin. You should join the math team.” Kyuhyun pulled him aside and asked after calculus class.
Sungmin saw Hankyung walk away and he mentally ripped Kyuhyun apart. It looked like he had a good body underneath that school uniform.
“So, how about joining that math team with me.” Kyuhyun asked again and Sungmin ignored him.
~//~
“So Sungmin, do you have any guys you find cute?” Heechul asked one day during lunch. Siwon was busy reading another chapter of Julius Caesar, pinpointing references to the bible as he went along. Donghae had trouble opening the package of a Snickers bar.
“No.” Sungmin lied as his mind drifted off to Hankyung, then to Kyuhyun and back to Hankyung.
“You can tell us, we’re your best friends.” Heechul dabbed his sponge into the powder and placed it on his cheek. “Best friends always help one another.”
“Well, there is that Hankyung guy in my math class.”
Heechul dropped his makeup kit, something he never does, and actually left the table without his man purse. Tables around them gasped in horror.
“Hankyung is Heechul’s ex boyfriend.” Siwon whispered before Donghae cheered happily. Siwon and Sungmin glared at Donghae.
“What, I got the package open by myself.”
“Ex-boyfriends are like, off limits.” Siwon warned Sungmin. “Especially with Hankyung, since he broke up with Heechul when he went back to China for a year. He said he had kidney problems, but Heechul didn’t believe him.”
~///~
“I’m on a full carb diet. I can’t go to a steak house. God Donghae, why are you so stupid?”
“No!! Heechul, wait for me. I’ll listen to your complaints.” Siwon ran after Heechul.
“I’m stupid, I know I am.” Donghae looked like he was about to cry and Sungmin wanted to kiss him right there.
“No you’re not. I bet you have plenty of talents.” Sungmin wrapped an arm around Donghae, hugging the younger boy.
“I think I’m a fish. I can breathe underwater.” Donghae grinned happily at Sungmin. Sungmin gave a nervous chuckle. “I can like, make bubbles from my mouth when I go under water.”
“That’s great, Donghae. What else can you do?”
“Umm. I think I’m HD. It’s like, I can’t keep focused.”
“Do you mean you have ADD?”
“No, I’m HD. I can’t keep focused, oh my GOD is that a bobby pin?”
Sungmin backed away nervously.
~///~
“Hey, Fatchul. Do you want more maple syrup with your pancakes?” The Canadian boy laughed alongside with his choir friends, Ryeowook and Yesung. “Seems like you’re putting on a few kilograms.”
“Shut up hamster face.”
“Heechul, you’re not wearing pink today.” Siwon hissed when Heechul sat down next to him holding a lunch tray with pancakes and a strawberry cheesecake.
“I can’t find anything else that I can fit in besides this red dress.” Heechul looked like he was about to cry.
~///~
“Hankyung, do you want to tutor me math?” Sungmin poked Hankyung on the head with his pencil.
“Okay, want to ask Heechul and Siwon too? I mean I always study with them, it’s only fair to ask them too, right?”
“No, how about just the two of us.”
“Do we still tell Heechul and Siwon?”
“No, just the two of us.” Sungmin licked his lips and saw a twinkle in Hankyung’s eyes.
~//~
“He’s such a good kisser…” Donghae sighed dreamily as he stared at Kibum.
“For God’s sake, Donghae. He’s your cousin.”
“But he’s such a good kisser.”
Siwon and Sungmin both made gagging noises.
~//~
“Shut up, aegyo king. You don’t need to act like a goddess, you’ve become a goddess.” Eunhyuk snarled at him. Shindong looked sad, even though he was still tweeting.
“No, this is all just for your revenge, right?” Sungmin faked another smile.
“No, it’s not.” Eunhyuk screamed. “At least Heechul doesn’t act cute. But you, you, Sungmin, are a fake little bitch. I hope you have a good life.”
~//~
“Coach Kangin made out with Leeteuk?”
“Kangin, step away from the under aged boys.”
“Ryeowook made out with a hotdog?”
“Oh come on, it was just that one time!!”
“Yesung buys and uses Viagra all the time.”
“It’s not my fault I have an erection problem!!”
~///~
“We should all get along, with flying unicorns and rainbows. Bowls of smiles mixed with happy laughter.” Zhoumi sobbed while reading his confession. “Meadows of daisies and roses, and hopping bunnies.”
“Does he even go to this school?”
“No. I just have a lot of feelings…”
~//~
In the end, Eunhyuk was right. Sungmin did become a Goddess, but it wasn’t his fault that he’s pretty, cute, and charming.
Oh, and Heechul got ran over by a bicycle, and now he has a steel rod in his thigh to help his bone heal. People said that Sungmin was the one that pushed him onto the road, but let’s just say it was an accident.
Oh, and Heechul said that he didn’t actually eat those protein bars. He pretended to put on weight so Sungmin thought he was putting on weight, because no one fools the legendary Kim Heechul.
People actually believed that until Siwon found his liposuction bill in his purse, because Siwon knows everything about everyone. Big Shibrows is watching you.
Pairing: Ninja! hyukchul, hyukhae, hanmin, kyumin, hanchul, sihanchul, sichul, kihae, kangteuk, ryeowook x hotdog, yesung x viagra, zhoumi x feelings, shindong x sunny
Rating: PG-13 (language and profanity)
Genre: CRACK. Humour. AU
Summary: Lee Sungmin is the new guy in school. Parody of the movie, Mean Girls.
A/N: Unedited whatsoever. Just for the laughs. I skipped parts of the movie because I was lazy to go find it and and, I hope it's funny. I realized I could have wrote a lot more about SiChul Julius Caesar battle, and the 4way conversation, but I need to go study... PRIZE: for the person that finds the intimate note reference.
A/N: In case I majorly fuck up. Heechul = Regina George; Siwon = Gretchen Weiners; Donghae= Karen Smith; Sungmin = Cady Herring; Shindong = the guy friend; Eunhyuk = female friend that had a crush on Regina George; Hankyung = Aaron Samuels; Kangin = the coach
“Oh, you must be Sungmin, the new guy. I’m Hyukjae, but people call me Eunhyuk. This is Shindong here, he’s almost too straight to function (in a boy band that does a lot of fanservice).
Sungmin had a look of horror on his face when he looked at Hyuk-Eunhyuk. He didn’t know someone could dress in so much black, it’s like he was one of those wanna-be gothic (maybe that’s the new concept for their next single). Sungmin had already caught news that both Eunhyuk and Shindong were on the dance team.
“We’re nice people, right Shindong?” Eunhyuk elbowed Shindong, who was too busy tweeting on his phone, updating about Sunny, one of the school cheerleaders. “He has a twitter fetish, don’t mind him.”
~///~
“That’s Kim Heechul. Queen bitch. Hot headed (he dyed it flame red once), impulsive. You don’t want to mess with him, like, never confess your feelings for him. He’ll just rip you apart, step on your heart and laugh at you. He’s a bitch, a queen bitch.”
Shindong was putting his hand near his neck, making a slicing motion towards Sungmin and Sungmin knew he had to be quiet. Sungmin made out the words ‘shut up and don’t talk about it or he’ll start bawling like a little girl’.
“Oh, and that over there. That’s Choi Siwon. He knows everything about everyone. He’s rich, and his father owns a big company. He trails around Heechul like a lost puppy, wanting attention and all that.”
“Oh, and over there, that’s Lee Donghae. He’s pretty cute, except he’s not exactly the brightest bulb.” Donghae tries catching a football with his arms, but it made contact with his head and bounced away.
“He also has the best body, I mean look at those arms.”
“But Hyukjae, I thought you had a crush on Heechul.” Shindong interrupted. Hyukjae, or informally known as Eunhyuk, began crying and wailing about broken hearts.
“See what I mean?” Shindong shrugged his shoulders and started tweeting again.
~///~
“Sungmin. We’re going to get you to infiltrate into the Goddesses.” Eunhyuk whispered to him.
“The what?” Sungmin choked on his apple juice, which was a pretty difficult thing to do.
“You know, Heechul, Siwon and Donghae. They sit in that center table.” Eunhyuk pointed to the middle of the table, where Siwon and Heechul were waving like celebrities and camera flashes illuminated the area. Donghae was trying to open a pack of cheese strings.
“Oh, them.” Sungmin hesitated. “What do I have to do?”
“It’s easy. You go in and ruin Heechul’s makeup, that will set Siwon off in a preaching spree. Oh, I didn’t tell you, he’s extremely religious even though he touches anyone and anything. That preaching spree will make Donghae mad, which will always make Heechul ruin his mascara. It’s like a circular chain of events.”
Shindong felt bad for Sungmin when he nodded in agreement.
~///~
“Hey, ni yau mei yo qian bi?” A handsome man turned around and flashed a bright smile at Sungmin. (A/N: Translation is “Hey, do you have a pencil?”)
Oh my god. He’s so cute.
“W-what?”
“Oh, sorry. Do you have a pencil I can borrow?” The handsome boy asked again. His black hair was perfectly styled, and his tanned skin and oh my god his sparkling eyes.
“Here…” Sungmin shoved his entire pencil case over.
“Thanks, you’re a peach.”
Sungmin couldn’t pay attention in calculus class anymore.
~///~
“Hey Sungmin. You should join the math team.” Kyuhyun pulled him aside and asked after calculus class.
Sungmin saw Hankyung walk away and he mentally ripped Kyuhyun apart. It looked like he had a good body underneath that school uniform.
“So, how about joining that math team with me.” Kyuhyun asked again and Sungmin ignored him.
~//~
“So Sungmin, do you have any guys you find cute?” Heechul asked one day during lunch. Siwon was busy reading another chapter of Julius Caesar, pinpointing references to the bible as he went along. Donghae had trouble opening the package of a Snickers bar.
“No.” Sungmin lied as his mind drifted off to Hankyung, then to Kyuhyun and back to Hankyung.
“You can tell us, we’re your best friends.” Heechul dabbed his sponge into the powder and placed it on his cheek. “Best friends always help one another.”
“Well, there is that Hankyung guy in my math class.”
Heechul dropped his makeup kit, something he never does, and actually left the table without his man purse. Tables around them gasped in horror.
“Hankyung is Heechul’s ex boyfriend.” Siwon whispered before Donghae cheered happily. Siwon and Sungmin glared at Donghae.
“What, I got the package open by myself.”
“Ex-boyfriends are like, off limits.” Siwon warned Sungmin. “Especially with Hankyung, since he broke up with Heechul when he went back to China for a year. He said he had kidney problems, but Heechul didn’t believe him.”
~///~
“I’m on a full carb diet. I can’t go to a steak house. God Donghae, why are you so stupid?”
“No!! Heechul, wait for me. I’ll listen to your complaints.” Siwon ran after Heechul.
“I’m stupid, I know I am.” Donghae looked like he was about to cry and Sungmin wanted to kiss him right there.
“No you’re not. I bet you have plenty of talents.” Sungmin wrapped an arm around Donghae, hugging the younger boy.
“I think I’m a fish. I can breathe underwater.” Donghae grinned happily at Sungmin. Sungmin gave a nervous chuckle. “I can like, make bubbles from my mouth when I go under water.”
“That’s great, Donghae. What else can you do?”
“Umm. I think I’m HD. It’s like, I can’t keep focused.”
“Do you mean you have ADD?”
“No, I’m HD. I can’t keep focused, oh my GOD is that a bobby pin?”
Sungmin backed away nervously.
~///~
“Hey, Fatchul. Do you want more maple syrup with your pancakes?” The Canadian boy laughed alongside with his choir friends, Ryeowook and Yesung. “Seems like you’re putting on a few kilograms.”
“Shut up hamster face.”
“Heechul, you’re not wearing pink today.” Siwon hissed when Heechul sat down next to him holding a lunch tray with pancakes and a strawberry cheesecake.
“I can’t find anything else that I can fit in besides this red dress.” Heechul looked like he was about to cry.
~///~
“Hankyung, do you want to tutor me math?” Sungmin poked Hankyung on the head with his pencil.
“Okay, want to ask Heechul and Siwon too? I mean I always study with them, it’s only fair to ask them too, right?”
“No, how about just the two of us.”
“Do we still tell Heechul and Siwon?”
“No, just the two of us.” Sungmin licked his lips and saw a twinkle in Hankyung’s eyes.
~//~
“He’s such a good kisser…” Donghae sighed dreamily as he stared at Kibum.
“For God’s sake, Donghae. He’s your cousin.”
“But he’s such a good kisser.”
Siwon and Sungmin both made gagging noises.
~//~
“Shut up, aegyo king. You don’t need to act like a goddess, you’ve become a goddess.” Eunhyuk snarled at him. Shindong looked sad, even though he was still tweeting.
“No, this is all just for your revenge, right?” Sungmin faked another smile.
“No, it’s not.” Eunhyuk screamed. “At least Heechul doesn’t act cute. But you, you, Sungmin, are a fake little bitch. I hope you have a good life.”
~//~
“Coach Kangin made out with Leeteuk?”
“Kangin, step away from the under aged boys.”
“Ryeowook made out with a hotdog?”
“Oh come on, it was just that one time!!”
“Yesung buys and uses Viagra all the time.”
“It’s not my fault I have an erection problem!!”
~///~
“We should all get along, with flying unicorns and rainbows. Bowls of smiles mixed with happy laughter.” Zhoumi sobbed while reading his confession. “Meadows of daisies and roses, and hopping bunnies.”
“Does he even go to this school?”
“No. I just have a lot of feelings…”
~//~
In the end, Eunhyuk was right. Sungmin did become a Goddess, but it wasn’t his fault that he’s pretty, cute, and charming.
Oh, and Heechul got ran over by a bicycle, and now he has a steel rod in his thigh to help his bone heal. People said that Sungmin was the one that pushed him onto the road, but let’s just say it was an accident.
Oh, and Heechul said that he didn’t actually eat those protein bars. He pretended to put on weight so Sungmin thought he was putting on weight, because no one fools the legendary Kim Heechul.
People actually believed that until Siwon found his liposuction bill in his purse, because Siwon knows everything about everyone. Big Shibrows is watching you.