We watch the watchmen
Today was a good day, I had a fabulous lunch of PIE and caught up with people, ingested far too much dessert and then was able to say at the end of the day that I had seen the comic phenomenon that was The Watchmen--
-- Even if I did think it was a hot, boring mess.
I appreciate that there will be a lot of different responses to this film, including the friend who sat next to me and laughed through two thirds of it and left the theatre with a positive response, and I'll soon go read some of the reviews to see why other people liked it.
I'm really struggling to pay attention to write a review of this while watching SYTYCD, which is wiping my impression of Watchmen because that film stole two three??? What, three?? -- hours of my life I will never get back.
I think the film really wanted to tell us the full story of the Watchmen and all its feature characters. It did this quite well, but what it failed to do was make me care or invest in any of them -- any of them that wasn't Rorschach, that is.
Rorschach was the most accessible and interesting to me, even though I was a bit confused by how much of a sociopath he was/or not. I felt genuinely surprised when he panicked about being captured. I probably just don't understand the psyche of a sociopath, but I expected him to be a bit more resourceful and have an escape plan, to not care about being caught and at the end he didn't, did he ("You're all trapped in here with me!")?
I feel like this film was two hours longer than it needed to be. I feel as though it wasted my time with so many scenes of character investment that barely paid off. With this in mind, I've composed the below list of things Watchmen taught me that it could have done in half an hour (including the good use of opening credits):
+ The Watchmen were masked vigilantes who had unexpected success
+ The Watchmen were masked vigilantes who were predictably ostracised by the public
+ The Watchmen were internally erupting with all sorts of repression and discord
+ Some of the Watchmen began dying
+ There was a bit of violence and hanky panky going on behind the scenes
+ More Watchmen went on dying
+ Hmm... I'm struggling to remember this movie
+ There be a lot of hanky panky with the Silk Spectres in slow motion
+ John Winchester The Comedian is a lunatic -- an arsonist, a rapist, emotionally and morally uncomprehending -- a proper sociopath
+ Rorschach is a "dark avenger" and the more consistent conscience of the movie
+ Ozymandias is a pretty boy with a not-so-unfamiliar plan
+ Silk Spectres are sex on legs wrapped in tight, banana spandex -- yeah, thanks for that extended Watchmen Super-Sexed edition in Ultra Slow Mo, I think I'm starting to get the idea
+ Owls are... flat
+ Russians foster a free society, apparently
+ If you're ever looking for a threesome look no further than Dr Manhattan
+ I'm really struggling to remember this movie
I've completely lost interest in this review in the face of Talia and Loredo.
-- Even if I did think it was a hot, boring mess.
I appreciate that there will be a lot of different responses to this film, including the friend who sat next to me and laughed through two thirds of it and left the theatre with a positive response, and I'll soon go read some of the reviews to see why other people liked it.
I'm really struggling to pay attention to write a review of this while watching SYTYCD, which is wiping my impression of Watchmen because that film stole two three??? What, three?? -- hours of my life I will never get back.
I think the film really wanted to tell us the full story of the Watchmen and all its feature characters. It did this quite well, but what it failed to do was make me care or invest in any of them -- any of them that wasn't Rorschach, that is.
Rorschach was the most accessible and interesting to me, even though I was a bit confused by how much of a sociopath he was/or not. I felt genuinely surprised when he panicked about being captured. I probably just don't understand the psyche of a sociopath, but I expected him to be a bit more resourceful and have an escape plan, to not care about being caught and at the end he didn't, did he ("You're all trapped in here with me!")?
I feel like this film was two hours longer than it needed to be. I feel as though it wasted my time with so many scenes of character investment that barely paid off. With this in mind, I've composed the below list of things Watchmen taught me that it could have done in half an hour (including the good use of opening credits):
+ The Watchmen were masked vigilantes who had unexpected success
+ The Watchmen were masked vigilantes who were predictably ostracised by the public
+ The Watchmen were internally erupting with all sorts of repression and discord
+ Some of the Watchmen began dying
+ There was a bit of violence and hanky panky going on behind the scenes
+ More Watchmen went on dying
+ Hmm... I'm struggling to remember this movie
+ There be a lot of hanky panky with the Silk Spectres in slow motion
+ John Winchester The Comedian is a lunatic -- an arsonist, a rapist, emotionally and morally uncomprehending -- a proper sociopath
+ Rorschach is a "dark avenger" and the more consistent conscience of the movie
+ Ozymandias is a pretty boy with a not-so-unfamiliar plan
+ Silk Spectres are sex on legs wrapped in tight, banana spandex -- yeah, thanks for that extended Watchmen Super-Sexed edition in Ultra Slow Mo, I think I'm starting to get the idea
+ Owls are... flat
+ Russians foster a free society, apparently
+ If you're ever looking for a threesome look no further than Dr Manhattan
+ I'm really struggling to remember this movie
I've completely lost interest in this review in the face of Talia and Loredo.