A Trip To Your Local Stripclub. PG, or so. SPN. Dean/Castiel.
A Trip To Your Local Stripclub
By: Me
Rating: I have no idea. PG, PG-13? Though I doubt the latter. Sure, there's a little swearing, but I think PG would cover that. XD I always sucked at the rating thing.
Summary: The Boys and Castiel go to a stripclub. That's pretty much it. Oh, they are actually working but yeah, pretty much. lol.
A/N: I did this losercase thing at Mishaland and so there was this whole Dean & Castiel go to a stripclub, and somehow this happened. This is why I don't write fanfic anymore. XD Or write that much at all, at least so people can see. *Shrugs* And you can totally blame a certain stripper on
thestraychild, and by the way, she looks like Mila Kunis. The stripper, that is.
Anyways I hope you at least kinda enjoy it. lol. At least it's weirdness and slight cracky-ness. i know it's not that cracky, but it's a little cracky. And I now totally need some sleep.
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"Dean, you are not taking an Angel to a strip club." Sam told his older brother, who was looking over at Castiel who had picked up a book they had been using for research.
"Come on, Sammy. It won't hurt him or anything, They're just half-naked and naked women. Probably nothing new to him." Dean told him him, and shook of Sam's hand that had been placed on his shoulder.
"Hey, Cas! Wanna go to a strip club with me?" Dean asked the Angel who looked up from the book he'd been leafing through and did that headtilt thing of his.
"Alright." Castiel told him, throwing the book on the bed closer to him and went for the door, not waiting for Dean.
"Don't wait up, Sam." Dean told him, with a well-known smirk plastered all over his face before closing the motel door.
"Wait, I'm coming with you." Sam told them, grabbing the door just before it manages to close and grabs the motel key of the table.
---
"Why are we here, Dean?" Castiel asked him, when they got to the stripclub of their (well, Dean's) choice and were seated.
"Because one of these ladies might be a succubus. Why else would we be here?" Dean told him, while his eyes followed what was going on the stage.
"I don't know. I thought maybe you just brought me here to try and shock me." Castiel told him, while he looked over Dean's face as he kept on watching one of the strippers.
"Would I do that to you, Cas?" Dean asked him, tearing his eyes away from the stripper (who had a pair of wings tattoed on her back) and throwing a grin in Castiel's direction.
"Yes, you would. So is that what you are doing?" Castiel asked Dean, who had gone back to watching that stripper as a waitress came over to them to take their drink orders.
"No. There really..." Dean started to say when their waitress actually bent down and kissed Castiel's cheek.
"Actually I could believe that too, but he's actually telling the truth." Sam told Castiel, but he didn't notice the waitress-kissing thing because his eyes were still glued to that brunette stripper with the wing tattoos.
But the weird thing is that it didn't seem to disturb the Angel at all. Like he got kissed by women in strip clubs all the freaking time. Who knows, maybe this is where he spent his time when not fighting or bugging them.
"Hey, you. We haven't seen you around here lately. Where have you been... and who are your yummy looking friends?" The red haired lady asked Castiel, while looking over Sam & Dean as she proceeded to SIT DOWN ON HIS LAP!
"Rory, these are Sam and Dean Winchester. Dean is a good but sometimes infuriating man. Sam is as well. But maybe a little less annoying." Castiel told her, with a slight smile on his face while she was STILL ON HIS LAP like she belonged there.
"Hi. You better be keeping our boy happy here, Dean. He deserves it." Rory told him, before standing up again and grabbing her notepad and pencil from the small table. She seemed to have ignored Sam, but he was occupied with watching the tattooed stripper anyways so he didn't even notice.
"Umm, okay." Dean told her, before she took his order and walked away. "What the hell was that? How do you know her?"
"I have been here a few times. The women are very nice. I haven't seen her a lot, but they are most of them very nice." Castiel told him, like it was totally normal for an Angel of the freaking lord to frequent stripclubs. Off course, maybe it was and they just didn't know about it but he doubted that was the case.
"Why?" Dean asked him, trying to get an straight answer from him and not expecting any help from Sam who had his eyes glued to that one particular stripper. Figures he'd be no help when it came to these things.
"Why what?" Castiel asked him, looking at him in that headtilty way of his with the crazy blue eyes and everything. Dean wondered if it was an Angel thing or if the vessel really had such blue damn eyes.
"Why have yo..." Dean was asking him when he was rudely interrupted by the the tattooed stripper that had been up on stage but was now wearing what little clothes she had on before and was practically on Cas's lap too except she stopped just short of that and bounced on the balls of her feet.
"Uncle Castiel!" The brunette yelled and gave him a bigger grin like the one before, and hugged him by throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing real tight. If he was human he might have suffocated already.
"Angel, how are you?" Castiel asked her, when she let go of his neck and sat down on their tiny damn table. She must not weight a lot if that table could withstand her and all. Sam is still silent and focusing on her, while she seemed clueless to his existence and was focusing solely on Castiel. What was up with Castiel and the women in this strip club!? Okay, so he's not bad looking or anything, but come on, this was just getting weird.
"Oh, I'm fine. Fine as I'll ever be." She told him, and flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked away from Castiel to look Dean over. Sam was behind her so she maybe hadn't noticed him or something, because she didn't crane her neck to look him over.
"Cas, who is this?" Dean asked him, getting kinda annoyed by her. Sure, she's hot and a stripper and all that but there was definitely something off about her and he didn't trust her for a second. Not after what happened the last time they were in a stripclub looking for something supernatural.
"And why did you call her Angel?" Sam piped up from behind her back, and probably did not notice when she rolled her eyes before turning around and giving him a tense smile that said 'back off, buddy'. Ouch, he did not have a fan in her.
"That's my name, assholes. I'm a... a friend of the family. Who are these jokers?" Angel told them, in a fucking biting tone. And she was totally going to say something else, but said friend of the family instead. Seriously, how are you friends of THAT family?
"Hunters. But don't worry, they don't want you. They want a succubus they say is around here." Castiel told her, looking around the dark lit establishment.
"Why would we want you?" Dean asked her, because he couldn't see Cas associate with anything evil but then Angel's were kind of dicks from what they had seen from other's of his kind so who knew, right?
"I'm something special, but I'm not saying. You're not worth it yet." Angel told them, smiling so sweetly it could rot your teeth and give you a heart attack with underlying malice that implied she would have to kill you if she told you.
"Well, you're just charming. You think you can help us?" Dean told her, giving her a smile of his own but the distrust was still shining in his eyes because he never did seem to be able to cover up his emotions properly.
"I don't know. What do I get outta it?" Angel told them, as she hopped down from the table and grabbed a chair from the next table. Why she didn't just do that in the first place was anyone's guess.
"Angel." Castiel told her, in that tone of voice he had used when he threatened to throw Dean back into hell if he didn't show him some respect.
"Cassy!" Angel just half-yelled back, all pouting lips and puppy eyes. Huh, her puppy eyes could almost beat Sam's puppy eyes which said something about her.
"Do not call me that." He told her, all stern and fatherly and shit. She just grinned and rolled her eyes at him like a teenager rolling their eyes at their parents. Though she was definitely not a teenager anymore from the looks of it anyways.
"Fiiinnee. Sometimes you're no fun at all. I'll help, but can I keep Stretch over there when we're finished?" Angel asked, and pointed at Sam with a manicured fingernail and an unsettling sweet smile that even scared Dean a little but Sam looked like he might say yes.
"Angel, he is not a thing you can keep." Castiel told her, and she looked like she might be about to protest that but then she just gave up and sank lower into her chair, pouting some more along the way.
"Awww. Okay, okay. I'll help with your stupid case." Angel told them with the same pout on her face and looked at Sam strangely. Who knows what kinda creature she was and they were asking for her help? Didn't seem like the greatest idea to Dean, but if Cas trusted her she couldn't be all that bad.
"Thank you." Castiel told her, and actually gave her a little smile which she just ate up and beamed.
"Okay, that's settled. Can we get some work done?" Dean asked them, and wondered if they'd get this done before tomorrow so they could get the hell out of here and away from this weird place and the women who wanted to sit on his Angel's lap.
"Aww, your boy has work ethics. That's so cute, Castiel." Angel practically squealed, and reached over to Dean to pat his knee which was just not cool at all. He was no one's boy, he was his own man. And he's NOT cute. Well, not in that way. Cute sounds bad. Not manly at all.
"Dean, don't. So, you uh, know Castiel well?" Sam told him, putting a hand on his chest before he did something really stupid and instead asked Angel again about her connection to Castiel.
"Umh, yeah. We already established that, silly." Angel told him, reaching over and patting him hard on the shoulder like he was a slow child or something while rolling her eyes before turning her attention back to Castiel.
"Yeah, I know. I mean umh, you said friend of the family but if you know what he is and all then how can you..." Sam said, mumbling his way through something and being uncharacteristically bumbling and mumbling which was hilarious to Dean because it was good to know that a really hot girl still tied him up a little at least. He kinda missed that.
"Sam, I think we should get back on track with matters." Castiel told him, probably having noticed the same thing as Dean had and was not too pleased with it. She had called him Uncle Castiel which is just very weird and slightly creepy and god knows what, so he was probably not cool about Sam drooling all over her.
"Yeah. Let's get back to the soul-sucking, murdering succubus who also robs you blind." Dean told them, to thwart any upcoming troubles between Cas and Sam. They so did not need that on top of everything.
"How can I help?" Angel asked, but she didn't sound very enthusiastic about it because she was just looking at her manicured fingers and then biting at one that was not like the others or something.
"Who's pretty new around here?" Sam asked her, and she kinda shrugged her shoulders a bit before speaking up.
"Rory. But she just went outside to have a smoke, maybe she took that time and left." Angel told them, looking around looking for the red head who had made Castiel's lap her home earlier. And she never even brought Dean his drink, succubus and a sucky waitress.
"We'll check that out. You take Sam with you and look for her, me and Cas will go and look for over there." Dean told them and stood up from his chair so they could get going, but he was the only one who looked ready to go.
"No." Angel said to him, and just sat there on her chair with a grin and s shake of her head.
"No? What?" Dean asked her, because he was this close to throttling her. He wasn't sure how cool Cas would be with that, but no matter how hot she was she was really getting on his damn nerves.
"Cas, you take Sam. I'll take Dean." She told them, finally getting up and looking straight at Dean when she ordered them around like she was the boss all of a sudden.
"Hey..."
"I wouldn't argue with her." Castiel just pointed out to Dean, who had started to argue. Because really, you did not want to argue with her, she usually won and sometimes there was blood.
"Let's go then." Dean told her, on the end of a sigh and she just grinned and waved Bye to Castiel & Sam before leading dean off to get her coat before they went off searching for Rory, the red haired possibly Succubus.
---
"What are your intentions regarding Angel?" Castiel asked Sam, when Dean and her were off to look for Rory outside the club.
"Well, what are your intentions towards Dean? Besides the whole Apocalypse?" Sam bit back, at him and looked over the club trying to look for the redhead that Dean had described to him.
"What do you mean?" Castiel asked him, turning away from where he'd been looking towards where you went backstage and looked at Sam, who just had one eyebrow raised all Well?
"Come on, like anyone could miss the looks you give each other when you think the other isn't looking. It's kinda funny how you two are kinda clueless." Sam told him, and Castiel just looked like a deer caught in headlights.
"It's frowned upon." Castiel told him, and walked away and really, what else was there to expect from an Angel of the lord?
"What is? That he's human or that he's a guy and you're possessing one too." Sam asked him, as he caught up with Castiel while they sneaked backstage and started looking for Rory there. It totally should not be that easy to get backstage, but maybe Castiel used some of his Angel-mojo to get them there.
"Humans and Angels do not match. Or so we are told. They do not want so many Nephilim again." Castiel told him, with this blink and you'll miss it shrug of his shoulders. They poke a little more around there but don't find her. And get some curious glances from people that seemed to suspect that they shouldn't be there but seemed too chicken to speak up.
"She's obviously not here, we should just go join Dean and Angel outside." Sam suggested to Castiel, who nodded his consent while starting at a lady who wanted to do something not so angelic to him.
---
Off course, just as they stepped out of the club they run straight into her where she seemed to be off in a hurry, and not looking where she was going because she walked straight into Castiel's arms. Though she only looked shocked for a moment before she kissed him until Sam pried her off. Then she went for him, but never had the chance because she was hauled off him and slammed into the wall of the club by a very annoyed looking Angel.
"Sweetie, why run away? We were having such a nice talk." Angel ground out, slamming the redhead into the wall once again just for good measures.
"Angel, where's Dean?" Castiel asked her, but then he saw Dean walking towards them slowly with a strange smile on his face.
"Sorry. She ambushed us when we got outside, whammied him. Kinda had to beat him off and then deal with her." Angel told both Castiel and Sam, who looked like he was rather surprised by how much butt she was kicking.
"Honey, you could have told me you're not all human. We could have had so much fun." Rory told her, with a dirty smirk on her face and obviously trying to lure Angel into something.
"Oh, fuck you. Go to sleep." Angel told her, before knocking her out with what looked a lot like Castiel's fingers to the forehead thing. "My Daddy was the Angel of death." Angel told a slightly gaping Sam, while Castiel had gone over to see How Dean was doing.
"So, you're half-Angel? I have some demon blood in me. I thought you were supposed to be giants. I mean, you are a Nephilim, right?" Sam asked her, kinda sheepish and tiny bit awed. Totally ignoring the fact that Dean & Castiel were basically making out like teenagers not that far from them.
"Naw, it's just something historians got wrong. It's mostly the strength and all that, demon boy. Your brother better not make Castiel fall or something. Because most Angels are assholes and they need someone like Castiel up there." Angel told him, nodding in their direction but not looking directly at them because just eww, too much information.
"Don't worry, the guilt would kill him. He'll probably blame it on the Succubus magic thing you said she did to him." Sam told her, as Rory groaned from the ground and Angel gave her a swift kick before grinning at Sam.
"Good. Now what ya say we go have some fun of our own, Stretch after we dispose of this?" Angel told him, with a dangerous look in her eyes.
"Okay, sure." Sam told her, which made her jump up and down in joy.
"Goody. Now lets get the horny teenagers, Succubus and get out of here before anything more happens." Angel told him, picking up the unconscious woman. Apparently it was Sam's job to split up the happy couple and get them moving towards the Impala parked out front.
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The End.