So uh... my moms moving out in a month. She already got a lease on an apartment. Her boyfriend looks like meatloaf. Not the food. The singer. I saw pictures of him. The dude thinks he's fuckin god's gift to women or something and had the fuckin gall to take pictures of himself in the mirror at the tattoo parlor where my mom got her fourth tattoo.
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This might sound outrageous, but have you considered joining the Airforce or Navy? I suggest these two because you're least likely to see combat in these branches, the bootcamp would help you get into shape (not that I think you're out of shape, you just talk about it sometimes) and you get paid along with a roof over your head, food, and insurance for everything. You could pick and MOS like combat photographer or something.
It's just an idea, that would solve your issues but I don't know how keen you are on military.
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And hey, at least you HAVE friends in this town. I've lived here for about 3 years, and I still only hang out with my boyfriend and whatever friend he has over.
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