Comments | danielraptus: The Secret of the Juiceman and healthy living!

danielraptus

The Secret of the Juiceman and healthy living!

Jun 04, 2006 14:17

Hey, remember the late night infomercials for "The Juiceman" juicers? You know, the show that had the hot chick and the crazed old guy with the bushy eyebrows? That man would throw in whole apples, carrots, parsley, watermellons and baby kittys just to show how well his product juiced and "unlocked the live giving nutrients" in ANYTHING you threw ( Read more... )

Comments 41

fakefriar June 4 2006, 18:33:25 UTC

Dan, it is offical. You are bored.

danielraptus June 4 2006, 18:40:06 UTC

I am. I've been ordered to rest all weekend. I hate rest.

Hey, if you had to be one, are you more an apple or a carrot-type?

antmanx June 4 2006, 18:58:02 UTC

Keep Baby Snowbeast away from that thing, we all know that he is more fragile than a grape, that thing will juice him with no problem.

danielraptus June 4 2006, 21:13:29 UTC

Wow. Baby snowbeast would so fit in there, too.

Thread 11

ronninfernum June 4 2006, 19:00:48 UTC

Is this really someone you want to buy food from: http://www.aniadesign.com/JayKordich/images/jay_home_01.jpg he looks like an albino Vulcan made love to a leather bag and had a kid in a Crest factory. He's just creepy and look what I do for fun. could be worse I went out and got a miniature Stonehenge so I could say I had a desk Calender.

I thought it was funny.

Scary! ravenared June 4 2006, 19:44:22 UTC

you're right!
and he seems to have vandalized
Shane T's. closet...that shirt!!!!!!aaahhh!

Re: Scary! ravenared June 4 2006, 19:54:44 UTC

oh, and most definitely...carrot juice!
Love fresh carrot juice...good stuffus!

hmmmm....what about bones? does it crush them?
or would I have to de-bone and just liquify the flesh?
(at least I know I could dump the skeleton at SCREAMS)
Mhuahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!oh, the possibilities......

Re: Scary! danielraptus June 4 2006, 22:54:50 UTC

The instructions don't mention anything about putting vertibrates into the Juiceman Juicer. As far as I'm concerned if they don't say anything about it, it's A-ok.

Thread 5

kymberlynn June 4 2006, 19:40:13 UTC

Add sugar to it and you should be just fine!
Though I would have to say I am more of a veggie girl myself, but you can pretend I am raddishes if it will make you feel better! (and yep that is ganna taste like ass no matter how much sugar you add!)

B

danielraptus June 4 2006, 21:10:05 UTC

I could never juice any fruit or veggie that I am pretending is you.

I may buy a salad shooter.

kymberlynn June 4 2006, 21:14:02 UTC

You were almost nice to me there for just a second, are you sure you are feeling well?

danielraptus June 4 2006, 21:18:17 UTC

I feel great. I'm juicing now.

When I go to the doctor tomorrow for my last test he'll be all like "wow. You are the healthiest guy I've ever seen." and I'll tell him "Duh. I just started juicing yesterday. Sheesh."

I'm going to try adding sugar to it, by the way. Maybe I can actually get myself to drink a glass of it before tomorrow if I do.

Thread 5

beylit June 4 2006, 21:09:01 UTC

But what about the seeds? If you throw an apple in whole won't there be seeds? You can't turn seeds into juice. I don't understand. If you swallow the seeds things will start to grow in your tummy. My mommy told me so.

danielraptus June 4 2006, 21:12:06 UTC

I threw everything in. The seeds, the core, the stem. Hell, I even left the little sticker on the apple. I'm a madman. I can't be stopped.

Actually, the juicer seperates the pulp and stems away so all you get is the lifegiving juice. (It didn't say anything about the sticker in the instructions. I don't want to make claims that the Juiceman can't back up.)

txwhiterose June 4 2006, 21:53:46 UTC

Wow...I'm a freak! I think it tastes pretty good! Maybe I'm using different ratios.

danielraptus June 4 2006, 23:00:47 UTC

Yeah. There is an actual recipe for carrotapplecelery juice. I don't bother with that stuff. I go by what's more fun to put into the juicer. Carrots are most fun followed by apples and then celery. Needless to say the juice is pretty orange.

*Carrotapplecelery Juice is Trademark and Copyright Juiceman Industries 1994.*

antmanx June 5 2006, 00:37:36 UTC

you should invent your own. Barbecucumberchedderbaconberry has a nice ring to it, I have faith in you.

danielraptus June 5 2006, 01:01:44 UTC

Consider it invented!

*Barbecucumberchedderbaconberry Juice is trademark and copyright Danc Industries 2006*

Oh. Look at that. I do believe you used Barbecucumberchedderbaconberry in that last reply. You owe me royalties. Pay up. I know where you live.

Thread 9