A third-party observer

[danthered]

Last month I posted a series of anecdotes depicting my mother. There's a link to another such post in the comments; I've posted a fair number over the years. One of the more pernicious things about living with that kind of crazy, of being constantly told by the primary in-charge authority figure that my perceptions and recollections were wrong-

Comments

[thetarnishedowl]

Interesting indeed.

[bluebear2]

It's a difficult thing to believe when you're told that someone you have always known to be bad/evil really didn't have malicious intentions. It takes awhile but if it's the truth it will eventually be absorbed into your thoughts and you can progress.

It also tells us that any of us can do harm to others without intending to.

[freakykitten]

This is a hard thing to process indeed. With my mother it helps me to think of her as a child. For some reason I can relate to her more that way. And since I know my emotions are similar now to what they were then, I can somehow relate her childhood to who she is now, which softens (a bit) my feelings on who she is as an adult.

That probably doesn't make a lot of sense, sorry. I don't know how better to tell it.

All I know is - my mother did horrid stuff to me and I don't forgive her, partly because as an adult I stop myself from (or don't even think of) doing horrid stuff all the time, and so she should have been able to. But I also don't hate her any more. I feel sorry for her, I dislike her, and I weep for the child I was, but...

We really ought to go for tea soon, if you're up to it! I can talk about this stuff or not. We have been in the same city for far too long. I am avail weekdays from 9:30 to 2:30 (kid free!)...

[danthered]

Yes, absolutely, tea or lunch or whatnot; we're long overdue. I don't recall what part of town you're in. Give me a shout or txt on six oh four, three five six, seventy-three twelve.

[danthered]

Do feel free to ring...

[freakykitten]

I just now texted you. :)

[snousle]

Hot off the scanner, and particularly though not exclusively for your benefit:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/bya12g0e6tmril0/prisoners_of_childhood.pdf

[danthered]

Ah, thanks. Looks like a dense uphill slog; I'll be reading it in instalments. For now two utterly tangential technical queries:

1. How'd you scan the book? Cut off the binding and hand-scan each page? Document feeder? Something else?

2. How'd you set up an anyone-can-access download link on Dropbox? Seems like a dumb question, but so far it's resisted my efforts.

[snousle]

Lars has a scanner with a sheet feeder that scans both sides at once. It comes with software that OCRs the document, compresses it, and packages it into a PDF. Can't recall the brand but it only cost a few hundred dollars

[danthered]

»gasp« Details, please, on this scanner when you're able to get them. Pretty please with a crusty biker on top.

I'll mouse around anew in my Dropbox and see what turns up, thanks.

[quuf]

One of the best things about being an adult is freedom from the imposed moral confusions of childhood and adolescence, certain lingering effects aside. Although I love and cherish my parents, it would mean a great deal to have some disinterested observer from the past assure me I came by my neuroses honestly.

I'm glad you're here, and (so far as I can tell!) in fine fettle.

[danthered]

Thanks!

(And another of the best things about being an adult is if you want to eat cookies for breakfast, can't nobody stop you.)

[quuf]

Or drink directly from the milk carton. Or belch with abandon. Or scratch . . .