(no subject)
For yon providential tenants of King George’s most beloved protectorate, it should come with little disbelief that his majesty, your highness, proprietor of the throne and all its glory, has bestowed upon us another prodigious treasure of poise and prudence. Alas, it been nary a day since Parliament’s passing of Chancellor of the Exchequer Charles Townshend’s legacy, and all that is required to heed the glee on the cobblestone is a simple placing of one’s hand to one’s lobe and harking.
Townshend’s acts differ from previous royal impositions where taxation was direct by placing the tariff on all colonial imports without prevarication. What privilege we hath been bestowed! Through what divine spark hath Sire and his court been granted the right to decree such inspiring legislature? Surely, the Light of the World would not neglect or exploit his precious provinces, for such an undertaking could be perceptible as a neglect of Mother Britain and her child’s symbiotic constitutional relationship. It seems a shepherd fears rebellion in his flock, but callous hands yield not a bountiful harvest.
It has been said that henceforth this date, the 20th day of November, a harvest moon, one thousand seven hundred and sixty seven, that his majesty’s Imperial troops be empowered the right to investigate, confiscate, and liberate all prohibited contraband through any means necessary. In sixty-five, we were more than enthralled to salute the Royal Army as they marched in to our quarters and berths, and once more they will be welcomed with disclosed boughs and affable auricles.
But alas, all is not lost. King George is a cunning gentleman and his feeble exertions at appropriating an entity that fitfully slips from his grasp do not go unnoticed. As much as his omnipotent influence is appreciated and revered, it can not remain to proliferate for long. Where one tithe fails another is reborn, and so the cycle continues until impeded.
Citizens, the day is ripe for the taking! Suffocate the streets and recognize the glory of your King. So spoketh Otis, “No taxation without representation.” Heed his precedent and consummate, lest your pronouncements of proclamation descend upon deaf ears.