it all makes sense now

[dariajun]

I saw a Vietnamese guy hand over some $100 bills to a Chinese guy, which the Chinese girlfriend explained "he owes him money from the casino". This is the same Vietnamese guy who approached me out of nowhere a few weeks ago exclaiming "you have two jobs to support your boyfriend's gambling?? Gambling bad! Tell him not to gamble anymore! He doesn't

Comments

[isara]

not just Vietnamese and Chinese. I was trapped on the Eurostar next to an Iranian man who kept trying to hook my up with his son, who was "very rich and lived just off of the Champs-Élysées." Then the man kept trying to help me with my bags.

I suspect he wanted his son to hook up with an American for the visa, but I was freaked.

[dariajun]

Oh I definitely don't think it's limited to Vietnamese and Chinese, they just happen to be the majority of people I deal with at work, which is many long hours on a weekly basis. Hell, I spend more hours with them than my friends. So they end up becoming a significant part of my life whether they are personally close to me or not. Hence the unsettling part. They expect me to be a part of this social structure, I get offers, I get questions, almost every time I see them. They tell me about their lives, so I am getting a very first person view of this lifestyle. Which then makes me question my own lifestyle, even though I know I wouldn't change it for anything. It's more of a huh, what if I was one of them

[srattus]

Most women that I meet aspire to being a kept woman. They may not say so right away, but it's the case.

Most of the women that I date are not so.

Go figure.

[dariajun]

It's a dependency thing I think people follow, many more than I might have thought of before. It's not that surprising after I gave it some thought.

Again, for me it sounds kind of nice but not really. No money problems ever? Fuck why wouldn't I love that! But then down the line I probably would end up killing myself.

[neoiceburner]

"He's not very handsome, but he's got money."

haha. That's hilarious. I much rather date an equal though. Feels a lot more fulfilling.

[rfc]

And yet if you told them that they've chosen the lifestyle of a submissive, they'd probably go nuts. It is absolutely a very interesting dynamic. I myself have pondered both being, and taking on a 24/7 submissive (just pondered), but it could never work without honesty within and about the situation. I don't understand how the kind of women you speak of can spend years in such a situation and never be able to call it what it is. Interesting indeed.

[dariajun]

I'm not sure if it's necessarily a submissive thing. I suppose by accepting their money as their income they are submitting themselves to their control, but these women go out and spend that money as they wish while their husbands are away. And these women are fine with that lifestyle because they see themselves as being pampered (which in a way they are), and really in their point of view, and understandably so, the men are the submissive ones because the men are responsible for providing their happiness. Imagine if the money stopped, they'd walk out immediately. The man proves his worth to the woman by the amount of money he can provide for her.

[rfc]

I guess it could go either way, really. But all the women I've met who live such a lifestyle are pretty much submissive when their husbands are around. They do and say whatever he wants while he is present, and cavort around like teenage girls when he isn't. I mean, in a good D/S dynamic, the sub *should* feel, well not necessarily pampered, but well taken care of y'know? So I think the comparison stands. They may feel like the men are the submissive ones, but the reality is that they are there for the money, and thus whoever controls the money controls them. So I don't think they're necessarily facing the reality of the issue. I'm generalizing, of course, and that's always dangerous, but these are my experiences. I've yet to come into contact with a household where the female is dominant but doesn't work, but we all know they exist.