2 legit 2 fit in my van

[daringtherobot]

Actual text message conversation between Texas National Guard members patrolling the US/Mexico border who were charged with human smuggling:

Sgt. Pacheco: we need to take 24 people to make that happen and you will get 3500 does that sound good.

Pfc. Torres: 24 will b tuff 2 fit but ill try

Sgt. Hodge: u wanna do 1 2mrw? They supplyin da van

Pfc. Torres

Comments

[lucre]

I do use text messages sometimes when I need to get in touch with my wife, but openly chatting with her during work would be... ghetto.

I spell everything out (correctly) in letters (not numbers), but I sometimes drop a few words in the interest of time, yielding understandable but ungrammatical pseudo-sentences.