Oh, Oprah. You can bring me to tears simply by putting an Iraq war veteran/suicide bomb burn victim on your stage. Bravo.

How 'bout that snow?  Channel 13 news led with the weather story, with Dan Winters stating that "the snow really put a damper on Sam Jolly's day."  I thought "Sam Jolly" was an expression that I had not heard of.   Like Joe Schmo ( Read more... )

How many people in this great land have the opportunity to vote for a pirate for the House of Representatives?  Only those living in Iowa's first District.  It's James Hill, the only drunken Pirate seeking office.  His platform is persuasive:

I would have your wife right in front of you. I would smoke the last of your glaucoma medication. Then I ( Read more... )

There are days that reading the Des Moines Register is like reading News of the Weird.

Proud Pot Farmer Flaunts Harvest in Front of Jail

Mom Tries to Sell Kid in Exchange for Wedding Dress

While You Were Sleeping: I Gave You a Tattoo

I started my Beginning Tap class a couple of weeks ago.  There are 40 women in the class, and about the same number in the Advanced class that follows ours.  The average age is about 40, so my friend Megan and I are the youngin's.   The perky dental hygenist/soccer grandma is the perfect instructor.  She has a couple of 60-something assistants, ( Read more... )

My mother's maiden name is Hubby.  I think I was destined to get married, which is what I did last weekend.  Ironic, no?

Also, please do not use the above information to gain access to my credit card accounts.

Getting married is fun!  I'm glad it's over though.

I think everything went well, with the only tragedy being the salon screwing up our nails ( Read more... )

I had no idea you could get e. coli from vegetables.

Why does this have to happen on a day where I had a spinach salad for lunch, at a deli which I assume buys their spinach in bags?

Also, I found out yesterday that our wedding is on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year.  We are a couple of culturally insensitive douchebags.  My sincerest apologies ( Read more... )

I'm continuing my continuing education with this class:

Tap Dance for Exercise, Beg.
Learn 10 to 15 basic tap steps used in a 3 minute tap routine. No recital but you'll be ready to perform at your church talent show. Tap shoes are optional... but making noise is fun! Instr: Susan Hyland

Oh, tap shoes are not optional.  I will be wearing these, as ( Read more... )

Northwest Airlines laid off 60 employees and gave them a list of "101 Ways to Save Money."

Highlights:

8. Replace 100 watt bulbs with 60 watt. 
13. Go to museums on free days. 
20. Brown bag your lunch.
38. Make cards and gifts for friends. 
46. Don’t be shy about pulling something you like out of the trash.

Was it in the trash? Because if it was in ( Read more... )

It's true, the law is an ass!  The following are common presumptions and are to be taken as true until contrary evidence is produced.

1. People conduct themselves lawfully.
2. People do not commit suicide and death is accidental.
3. Every person is sane.
4. Public officers carry out their duties.
5. Marriages are valid.
6. The mail is delivered.
7. ( Read more... )

I'm really on the fence when it comes to people.  Maybe I'm simplifying too much, but I really believe I don't like people, in general.  I want to like people, and there are many people that I like.  Hundreds, perhaps thousands.  All of you reading this, in fact.  But why do people do things that strengthen my hatred for them?  You would think ( Read more... )