Comments | dark_elf_lady: (без темы)

dark_elf_lady

(Untitled)

Apr 11, 2006 19:38

I wrote a fic for Hump_day101 challenge. Enjoy, cause I didn't.

( I decided to call this one: For What Potter will Pay )

hump_day101, fanfiction

Comments 3

my_crimson_rose April 12 2006, 22:00:09 UTC

Awwww... such a sad story. But I liked it. Oh, emotion...! How we love it. ^^

Aaaand on to my sucky beta:

eleven years, entering Hogwarts Draco say the Harry Potter as the powerful one. I think it's supposed to be "saw".

Then later the worst thing happened [something here?] the reasons went beyond rivalries, jealously, and hatred. ... yeah. It seems like the sentence is missing some little dot or something, or a ;.

... that was the only things I noticed. XD Plus, in the end; "Potter" is repeated quite often. Maybe it's supposed to be that way, I don't know; it definitely works, but I think it'd be nice if Potter was replaced with the other wizard or something like that now and then.

// End of concrit. // Hope it helped. ^^

dark_elf_lady April 12 2006, 22:57:56 UTC

Thank you very much for the concrit. I really appreciate it. It is mostly fixed now. I'm glad you liked the story. Thank you.

my_crimson_rose April 12 2006, 23:05:52 UTC

Just glad I could help. ^^ And you welcome.