What is this thing we call hope, that we should build our entire lives upon, only to discover in the end that it had but one purpose, to abandon us. Hope is but a tease that leaves you wanting and waiting...forever. It has broken every promise of a better tomorrow, so I can no longer deceive myself, as it has done to me, time and time again. ( Read more... )

Today marks the beginning of another year, for those of us from the East who worship the moon and not the sun as they do over here. It is amazing how time has stood still in my heart, no matter how many moons have passed. It seems like yesterday that I was still just a boy running along the side of the street, marching to the beating drums of the ( Read more... )

Sometimes you do things that you do not want to do. Sometimes you say things that you do not want to say. I have done something to regret, for I have let malice escape from my lips. And all that is left is the bitter aftertaste of remorse. Greater is the conviction in one's own heart than any judgment passed by another. I want absolution, but ( Read more... )

It seems that I have never been forgiven for apostasy. I continue to be drawn back into wrestling with the saints over doctrine. Sometimes I wrestle with myself. In many ways, I am still unsure. I can hear the sound of cognitive dissonance, resonating my head from within. Maybe I should make it easy and just replace one illusion with another ( Read more... )

I was approached by a hungry cat today, while cutting tree branches in the yard. It was so small and appeared as if it had not eaten for a while. No doubt, I had a difficult choice to make. When the last time I fed a stray, it stayed in the shed and gave birth to three more generations of hungry mouths. For every one of us, neither choice nor ( Read more... )

I returned to the shores again, just for the day. I always knew that I could not part from it for very long. It is funny that I should have an attachment to a mere place. It makes me think about the things that I hold dear…that make me long for and cannot do without. Sometimes the simplest things in life are so hard to understand. They seem ( Read more... )

I had not known the face behind the words. Now they seem more real to me, although not as perfect as I had imagined. But something does not have to be perfect to be real. Perfection is an idea invented by those who are imperfect. They forget what matters is how much value you give to something. It was my first time seeing VNV Nation live and ( Read more... )

One year has folded into another. And so a calendar has passed away. Everyone is in high spirits. Everyone is possessed. We anxiously rewrite the old script, yet only loosely commit to the new. Without absolute resolve in our hearts, no resolution can set us free. The flow of time will often take us down the path of a circle. The passing ( Read more... )

It has been a long time since I fell from grace, a long time since chapel. And ever since, I have been falling still. It seems like only moments away until forever into an abyss, whose bottom my weary soul may never find. But found, then my jaded soul will have rest. Yes, at least for a little while. To heaven so far above, the arches point ( Read more... )

A teardrop in winter falls like snow. A pierced heart, frozen through, bleeds no more. Winter is the cure that my heart longs for. I shall welcome the frost when it finally comes. Let it snow.