(Untitled)

[dark_tisiphone]

So we canceled our NYC trip at the last minute. We didn't lose the money; we have one year to use the credit on a domestic flight

Comments

[bluesdragon]

i am so sorry you are going through something like this! i was always against the medicated lifestyle until I finally realized just how serious my depression was and how the mood swings were affecting my life and my husband's life

[dark_tisiphone]

Thanks, there! I know therapy can be helpful, and I'm so against medications like that. I have always had some kind of preconceived notion that all anxiety/depression drugs mask all emotions and basically put the patient in a zombie-like state. I never wanted to "feel nothing"...but I do know now that not all of those drugs are the same, that it has a lot to do with dosages, and even more to do with the individual's chemical makeup. All of those terrible side effects, though...it's just scary! I know not all of those things happen to everyone, but to know that there is the potential for those things is terrifying. Then again, isn't it even more terrifying to think I might end up a total shut in because I let anxiety rule my life

[bluesdragon]

the dosage that i am on is just enough to take the constant-edge off to make me be able to handle things in a better manner and stop the majority of mood swings. given my weight, it is just enough...for someone your size it might be too much, but i know they make a half dose of this because thats what they used to step me up to it for a week

[dark_tisiphone]

Thanks again! There are tons of therapists and counselors and the like in this area, what with the Clear Lake medical center right down the street. It's just a process of weeding people out. There are even quite a few places in my town, too. The doctor I'm going to is in Alvin, though. Did you ever hear of Dr. Kerry McCarroll? My friend says he's great, and I trust her...but I had never heard the name before.

Thanks for helping me out!

[mizutamari]

I wish you all the luck in the world that things get better for you soon. I am very sorry that you had to cancel your trip. But maybe now you can get all better and go and have a wonderful time! Take care of yourself.

[dark_tisiphone]

Thank you. With everything that has happened between us, and all of the harsh words, I must say I was surprised by your reply and, admittedly, I still have anger and hurt feelings toward you for reasons that need not be rehashed, but I am nonetheless thankful that you send me your positive thoughts. It does always help to know there are people rooting for you.

[mizutamari]

Please don't be surprised. Even though we may not be very good friends, I still consider you both my friends, and I care for all of my friends and never wish them any harm or unhappiness. I know you were really looking forward to that trip, and I know what it is like to have to cancel events you are really looking forward to- I am sorry that you have to feel that way. But I honestly believe that things will get better.

Just deal with one thing at a time and don't let things pile up on you. I let that happen to me my last year of my Associates degree and I ended up in the hospital. Don't let that happen to you! You are not alone in this world- you have Gus to lean on if you need help. You don't have to do everything yourself.

Even if it doesn't feel like it some days, remember that you are so blessed!

[dark_tisiphone]

I know, I do have a wonderful support system going. That makes it easier. It's still nothing I thought I'd ever have to deal with on this level. I've always been an anxious person, but this is ridiculous. To have it effect me this badly physically...well, that's the clincher.

I know I don't have to "do it all myself", but I am a perfectionist in work and school, especially, and it is very easy to fall into that mode of thinking. Everyone always said I put too much pressure on myself. Apparently I had. And a hospital visit is exactly the thing I'm trying to avoid! There were a few times I was almost hoping someone would take me against my will because I was feeling so crazy (but I didn't really want to go b/c I'm scared, y'know?). Luckily, it never got to that, but I can see how that's about the only thing left to happen. I need to deal with it before it does.

Thanks.

[sebastian_cat]

It shows great courage to make an open announcement about your situation. Its a good start and I hope that the doctor can help out as well. If you need someone else to talk to about it I can listen from passive and active experience.
Good Luck

[dark_tisiphone]

Thank you, sir. That is most kind. Seriously, though, thank you. I don't know how much courage it took to post about my situation...not as much courage as it took to call the doctor, hehe. I just know that it is definitely to a point where I need an evaluation, medications, something to balance this out. It has been getting progressively worse, and though it isn't a constant problem, it has become the most prevalent thing in my life right now. Everyday recently has just been trying to cope with the feelings; the rapid heart beat, shortness of breath, tingling fingers, dizziness, nausea...and whenever I start feeling that way, I scare myself worse because I don't know when it will end, what's causing it, is it stress/anxiety? Or something more serious? I swear, my doctor's appointment cannot come soon enough. And I never thought those words would escape my mouth

[sebastian_cat]

My experinces have been in the paranoid, anxiety, depression way. And it did have an effect on me through my childhood. Not only my allergies kept me sick but also my anxiety and nervousness as well. I myself refused to do medication after spending my childhood on so much antibiotics and pain killers. So when it came to my depression and anxiety I used chi meditation and a total change of mind set

[dark_tisiphone]

Yes, I've been using the distraction method most of all. I seriously cannot even begin to tell you how many hours of Mario Kart we have played in the last few weeks. Good Lord! Not only that, but Scrabble, jigsaw puzzles (both in real life and online). I'm spending an obscene amount of time on jigzone.com