Bill Weasley and Adrian Pucey - friday night, continued
Private rp-session between Bill Weasley and Adrian Pucey - Bill's chambers
Bill left his door open as he walked into his living room. He headed for the cabinet and brought out whiskey and glasses. He poured two drinks and left them on the low table in front of the couch. He walked to the bedroom and took his costume off, which took about two seconds considering how skimpy it was. He dressed quickly in an undershirt and boxers. There was no reason to fully dress; it wasn't as if Adrian hadn't seen everything, and he wanted to be comfortable physically at least.
He came back out to the living room just as Adrian was walking in. He plopped down on the couch and rubbed his eyes wearily, then took a long gulp of his whiskey.
*
Adrian's eyes followed William as the man moved over to the couch and sat down, drinking. He had changed out of costume. The long hair was still loose, though. He looked around, for a moment contemplating where to sit. Again his eyes rested on William and then the second glass in front of the couch. He moved over and sat down at the opposite end of the couch. Before he leant back, he picked up the glass and took a sip. Whiskey... good enough. He swallowed and leant back with a small sigh, silently letting the warmth from the alcohol distract him.
*
Bill glanced sidelong at Adrian and sipped his drink. "I have some rum I think, if you'd rather drink that. And I have some Egyptian herbs that I smoke sometimes..." He chuckled. The thought of Adrian smoking that...he just couldn't imagine it. Or, actually, he could, and it amused him highly. "Anyway. So. I think we need to talk, yes?" He curled his legs under him and shifted to sit sideways on the couch so he could face Adrian as they conversed.
*
Adrian arched an eyebrow at William at the mention of herbs. So, the man indulged himself in more than just muggle brews and alcohol. "Whiskey is fine." He mused for a moment before taking another sip. William was looking at him, even turned towards him. Adrian didn't change his position.
Yes, they needed to talk, this had gone outside their arrangement, reminiscent of their first encounter and yet not. This had been want... lust, and nothing else. There had been no purpose outside mutual pleasure... nothing to purge through intense pain, no thesis to prove... the realisation that it might not solely have been an experiment, but something completely different, was concerning him. What it was, he didn't know... and William wanted to talk about it. They should talk about it. But Adrian didn't know what good talking would do. Articulating vague thoughts and emotions was mostly beyond him. He preferred firm calculated facts, concrete statements, clear words.... but nothing he could say would be clear. "I think we do..."
*
Bill nodded, a serious expression on his face. "Yeah...Unfortunately, I've no real idea what to say. I'll be honest and tell you I'm confused. Extremely confused. I had kind of convinced myself..." He took a gulp of his drink. He had no intention of getting drunk, but he could feel the whiskey relaxing him. "That our little 'arrangement' had everything to do with pain and very little to do with sexual pleasure. But..." He took another sip. "That whole concept has been a bit shot down, given what just happened. I guess...I'd kind of like to know...Why did you fixate on me like that? Just because perhaps you feel our arrangement was unfair, that I always approached you rather than you approaching me? I'd just like to understand what the hell just happened, you know?"
*
Adrian thought for a moment, looking at his glass and the amber liquid. Questions... questions had answers. He had wanted William, the costume arousing him madly and once he was fixed on a goal, not much would be able to pull him away again. "I wanted you." A clear enough answer. He looked at William. "Only when you said no, did I think about our arrangement." That had been it. He would've gone after William under any circumstances, but only the rejection had forced him to actively try to coerce the man. His main confusion still rested with the fact that he had complied to William's wishes, excluding pain from the sex, distancing it clearly from their arrangement... and liked it.
*
Bill nodded. "I see." He kind of did. Adrian had only pursued him so actively because he'd refused him, and Adrian didn't like being told no. So, really...The whole thing hadn't been a problem for Adrian. He'd wanted sex, he'd asked Bill, Bill had said no, that made Adrian decide he wanted to get his way, and he had. Pretty straightforward. So why was Adrian looking and acting like something bothered him about it? "So you would have been just as content with someone else, but I was convenient? And then when I refused you, it made you want to assert yourself, so you refused to relent until I acquiesced? Is that....right?"
*
No, he realised, he wouldn't have been content with someone else. "No, it was you I wanted." That was slightly troubling, but not overly much. William had a very arousing body, more so than most, else he wouldn't have approached him in the first place, when they had met at the Pitch.
However, William intrigued him on several levels. Physically of course, but also professionally and... the personality... The way the man seemed to be able to switch modes in a blink of an eye. The more he got to know William, the more questions and mysteries came up. He wanted to solve the puzzle, wanted to see the truth, understand it, understand William. But that still didn't answer the question, why the sex tonight had been so dramatically different from earlier.
*
Bill was surprised at this information. But he didn't think asking Adrian why he'd wanted him specifically would do any good. "Oh. Well. I'm flattered, I think." He smiled wryly. "I...Dammit, I should have just brought you back here and let you hurt me. At least then I wouldn't be so fucking confused, even though I don't need that so soon after the last time, and I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it." he said, more to himself than to Adrian. He was frustrated and didn't know what to do about it. He took another sip of his drink and absently ran a hand through his hair in a methodical way, untangling it in small sections.
He continued doing this, thinking, gazing rather blankly at Adrian.
*
"You didn't want pain." Adrian stated the fact calmly, as he watched William comb fingers through the long hair. Then he looked up and met the blue gaze, even he could see the man was deep in thoughts.
It hadn't been his intention, not entirely... to cause pain, like he usually did during their 'sessions'. Not more, than he would've caused normally, when fucking somebody. But he hadn't caused real pain at all, had instead restrained himself when William had asked him to. And it had been good anyway, exceedingly good. But why had he done what William had wished? Given up control, basically? He took a large drink of whiskey and winced slightly as it burned its way down.
*
Bill blinked and nodded at Adrian, his eyes still unfocused, thinking. "No, I didn't want pain. I wanted...something else. The opposite of pain. Or maybe just it's....absence." But...why didn't he try harder to leave? Why didn't he just...order Adrian to leave him be? Because he valued their arrangement, and didn't want to risk losing it. Oh, Merlin, that was part of it. A big part. He had refused to assert his authority as a staff member because he didn't want to piss Adrian off enough to have him call of their meetings.
And he'd wanted sex; He'd seen Ron at the party, then Adrian had advanced on him. Bill knew Ron and he wouldn't be making love, they hadn't gotten that far, maybe never would. He was going home alone, depressed, and...Adrian had been persistent. Adrian had wanted him. And Bill had not only wanted the sex, he'd wanted...to be wanted. That was part of it, too.
And...Bill balked. He didn't want to examine this any further, but...he had to.
It was Adrian himself. Bill....desired him. Sexually. Not just for pain. Not....Just. For pain. Bill closed his eyes. This complicated things.
*
Adrian frowned slightly. Then William couldn't have a problem with what had happened. He had received what he had wanted. Why then did he need to talk? Adrian took another sip of whiskey, the warmth in his stomach relaxing him slightly. His mind was still a clutter and he suspected he would have to think more on this. A lot more.
"And you got that... so what is the problem?" Maybe knowing what William's problem was, would help him solve what his own problem was, and what he could do about it. He hated being confused and he would go very far to avoid it. On the surface, however, he had finally managed to fall into his natural air. He could force it, if he really wanted to.
*
"The problem...." Bill took a drink and leaned back on the couch, very relaxed now. "Is that I didn't want that kind of sex from *you.* You were just supposed to be someone I came to when I needed the pain element. And I....allowed it because I....wanted you. I mean, you aroused me and I wanted your body, for pleasure...That's....That wasn't something I expected. I can't just...have sex with you...That's...." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He spoke softly. "It's like cheating...too much like cheating...."
*
The faint frown melted into a openly surprised expression. Cheating? He hadn't known William had somebody else, after Fleur. Then again, he had made certain Adrian only came when called... owled, at more or less specified times. He wanted to ask who that other person was, but it wasn't really his business and he didn't expect William would think so either. Could be faculty... but... it could also be a student. Neither would surprise him. He would keep his eyes open.
Now he understood. William at least. As it was though, it hadn't helped him much. He drained his glass and put it down, still looking at the man next to him, letting his gaze run over his body. Yes, he was strongly attracted to William. Yes, he wanted sex with him. Yes, there were more things than sex, which interested him about William. And apparently no, the sex didn't necessarily have to include Adrian causing William pain, it was good anyway.
"I understand." He nodded slowly. There were still things confusing him about this, but not as much anymore. He should go, there was no reason for continuing the conversation. He rose and smoothed out the faint wrinkles in his costume. "Thank you for the drink."
*
Bill watched Adrian intently as he made to leave. He'd slipped a bit, there. But then...It wasn't that big of a deal that Adrian knew he was seeing someone. He'd figure that out eventually anyway. And Bill doubted Adrian would figure out who it was; after all, Ron visiting him a lot was only normal. They were brothers.
"Adrian....Wait." He said. "You looked really bothered earlier." He smiled. "Well, as bothered as I've ever seen you. Why should what we did be a problem from your point of view? It's not as though we've never had sex, and I kind of assumed you aren't in a 'relationship'...You're obviously experienced; Why would having sex with me throw you off like that? And why did you react like that when I kissed you, or tried to, after? You didn't seem hesitant to kiss me five minutes before....I know you probably enjoy being enigmatic, but I'd appreciate it if you could explain just what's so wrong with me that you reacted like that."
Bill gazed at Adrian, not wanting to look away or show any kind of hesitance here. He was being straightforward, and if Adrian was going to just leave, he'd have to be the one to look away first.
*
Adrian blinked and hesitated, the unexpected questions throwing him off course. William's eyes were fixed on his and it was hard to look away, even as the intense eye-contact further unsettled him.
He thought for a few moments, pondering what to say. "No, I'm not in a relationship." he didn't doubt his parents had arranged for him to marry some pure-blood girl of good heritage to ensure the continuation of the Pucey line, but that was business. A relationship would be something that implicated feelings, something he couldn't relate to, and basically a worthless, bothersome thing.
The sex without pain, just physical pleasure... Why had that bothered him? His eyes became slightly distant for a few moments as that thought ran through his head. "I complied with your wish for no pain, and still enjoyed it." Of course, fucking somebody caused physical reactions you mostly couldn't control, but he had enjoyed it very much and in the end he hadn't even thought about causing pain, the sex being enough to satisfy him.
The kiss. He had not seen that coming and it had been... unnecessary, as the hug. Why had William kissed him? "Why did you kiss me?"
*
Bill frowned, working this out. It seemed similar to his concern, but not quite the same. He was bothered that he'd enjoyed it without pain with *Adrian*....not that he'd enjoyed it without pain in general. But Adrian was concerned because he'd....liked sex? Just sex with no hurting? That was odd....He'd assumed he and Adrian had a strange arrangement, but maybe rough sex was the norm for Adrian.
"It bothers you that you enjoyed it even without the pain? I can relate to that....It bothers me that I enjoyed it without the pain, too." He didn't mention that most of it was because he'd been with Adrian and not with Ron. He knew he liked sex without pain; that was no revelation. But he'd never expected to want it like that with Adrian. "Does it....bother you....that I asked you not to hurt me and you....'complied?' That you did as I asked? I don't see how that's different from me asking you to hurt me and you complying....? Unless my asking was more of a fortunate coincidence...I mean....unless....you would have hurt me anyway, whether I asked for it or not, those other times...."
That had never occurred to Bill. He'd thought Adrian didn't mind hurting him, and enjoyed it, but...he'd also thought that if Bill hadn't asked, Adrian wouldn't have just naturally been rough with him. This was definitely something to think about. He was distracted now, and answered Adrian absently.
"I kissed you because you'd just fucked me, it had been wonderful, and I turned and saw you there looking so...unsure of it, and gorgeous, and I wanted to be close to you, wanted to hold you and kiss you, so I did....but you didn't seem to want it so I made myself pull away, even though I felt like kissing you breathless, right there in the hall...I kissed you because you looked like you needed kissing....And I wanted to feel you against me, to feel your mouth on mine again..." He trailed off, running his thumb along his lower lip, thinking. His words had surprised him; he hadn't realised just how much he'd wanted that kiss, until he'd been asked. This was Bad. He didn't have 'feelings' for Adrian, not romantic ones, like he did for Ron, but...the boy was more important to him than he'd led himself to believe. And that had not been in his plans, not at all.
*
Adrian mutely listened to William's words, intellectually understanding them, but emotionally it was a mystery for him, why the man had 'wanted' to kiss him, 'wanted' to be close, without any other reason than... feeling like it. That didn't make sense. He frowned again, eyes absently following the thumb trailing over William's lip.
He forced his thoughts back to William's first question. "It was not the complying... it was the fact ... that I enjoyed it more... than I had thought I would've... and that I didn't have to work very hard on restraining myself..." Wording his thoughts was still difficult, even after struggling with those thoughts for quite a while tonight. "...from hurting you." When he had said that, he realised he might have said more than he should have. William knew he liked causing pain, a lot of pain, but maybe not how much he liked it.
*
Bill continued rubbing his lip, thinking on what Adrian had said. He had to...restrain himself? From hurting Bill, and presumably others, during sex? Well...He had been told that Adrian was sadistic and enjoyed hurting others for fun. He'd just not thought the boy's sex life was included in that, but evidently it was.
So stumbling upon Bill must have been quite a find for Adrian. Just as stumbling upon Adrian had been quite a find for Bill. In a way, this made Bill feel a bit better, about the pain thing. Adrian truly did like doing it, he wasn't just indulging Bill when he did his thing. Bill should have realized it earlier, given the relish Adrian had shown last time. And how inventive he'd been. A person doesn't put that much effort into something that isn't important to them, or that they do just to appease someone else.
"I see...." He mumbled. So pain with sex was so ingrained for Adrian that having enjoyed Bill just for pleasure threw him off kilter....That was.....weird. Bill didn't get it. But he suspected Adrian didn't get him, either.
He looked at Adrian and stopped his thumb mid-stroke. "I wonder....Do I confuse and baffle you as much as you totally mystify me?"
*
Adrian looked from William's lips into the blue eyes. The confusion was so obviously mutual it was bordering on amusing. A joke he could understand. The corner of his mouth twitched slightly at that.
"Yes, I think so." And he doubted he would ever understand William completely. He didn't see that as a problem. Tonight had been a fluke and they would most probably return to their 'normal' arrangement. He didn't pretend to understand what had moved William to act as he had, so he disregarded it. He only kept it in memory to prevent himself from being totally caught off guard if William chose to act similarly on another occasion. Then he would maybe not understand, but at least know why.
*
"Well, at least we're both in the same situation, then." Bill smiled wryly. "I doubt we're capable of understanding each other, even though we do seem to have a lot in common. Kind of ironic, really." He stood and walked over to Adrian. "I guess we'll just have to leave it at that, then. I'll...see you around, I guess. Or something." Bill looked at Adrian's mouth. Damn. Why'd he have to be so desirable?
*
"Yes, you will." Adrian nodded lightly. He noted that William wasn't looking into his eyes, but lower... at his lips? Would he kiss Adrian again? The thought was not as unsettling as before, since now he would be more prepared for something like that. And William's kisses where by no means unpleasant, quite the opposite, as long as he knew it would be coming. But somehow he doubted William would do that after their conversation.
*
Bill nodded and smiled slightly. "So...Are you going to kiss me goodbye then?" He looked at Adrian with a teasingly, slightly disdainful expression. It seemed so strange to him that Adrian and he had done some truly unspeakable things together, but kissing....Spooked him. It was just weird.
*
Adrian arched an eyebrow, both at the question and at the expression on William's face. "Are you serious? Why?" Why should he kiss William goodbye? He hadn't done that before and there was no reason to start that now. He somehow suspected the man was doing this on purpose, to throw him off again, to see how he would react. He wanted an answer first, though. Before he reacted in any way.
*
"Because I'm a good kisser. You're a good kisser. I'd enjoy it, so would you. But I'm not about to....Beg....for it." He smirked at Adrian but didn't move toward the door.
*
Hmm...well, good arguments in favour, and now it seemed almost like a challenge, the smirk on William's lips revealing that to him. "Begging... you do that rather well, though." he returned the smirk. He wouldn't mind seeing that. It would round off the evening nicely.
He couldn't help being somewhat bemused about the ... request. Lovers kissed each other goodnight, that much he knew. At least in the manner of the kiss he suspected William wanted. They weren't 'lovers'. And hadn't the man just minutes before called the sex they'd had in the hallway 'cheating'? Logically, a kiss goodnight would be cheating as well then, wouldn't it? Maybe even more so, after contemplating the cheating in the first place. Interesting.
Without notice Adrian stepped forward, his body coming flush with William's and pulled him into a deep slow kiss, with a hand on the nape of his neck. He enjoyed it for a few moments, languidly stroking his tongue against William's, before drawing slightly away.
He looked at the man for a moment. "Hmm... Isn't that cheating as well?" Arching an eyebrow slowly, Adrian kept his hand on William's nape a second longer. before releasing him and stepping back. "Well, goodnight then. I'll see you around." He turned and walked towards the door.
*
Bill kissed back and sighed when Adrian pulled away. He gazed after the boy as he made for the door. "Yes, well, I guess so, but...The milk's already been spilled, there's no putting it back in the bottle now." He smiled faintly and turned away. "I guess you can see yourself out." Bill walked to the couch and sat down heavily. He didn't know what to think or how to feel.
*
Adrian looked over his shoulder as William sat down, looking ... he couldn't decipher the expression on his face. By Salazar, he hated not being able to understand when he wanted to. William's earlier words and current attitude just. Didn't. Fit. The. Fuck. Together. He looked away again and opened the door. Confusion was still predominant in his mind and it would take a while to sort through all this.
Silently he slipped out and closed the door behind him. Deep in thoughts, he didn't realise he had forgotten all about his staff and helmet, which were still leaning against an Armour near the great hall, before he had returned to the dorms and started undressing for the night. He didn't forget things like that, and when he did, it pissed him off. There would be no sleep tonight, that was just about the only thing Adrian knew for sure. The general noise level didn't help much either, but at least his yearmates retreated swiftly, when he told them he wouldn't ask them twice to shut the fuck up.
Bill left his door open as he walked into his living room. He headed for the cabinet and brought out whiskey and glasses. He poured two drinks and left them on the low table in front of the couch. He walked to the bedroom and took his costume off, which took about two seconds considering how skimpy it was. He dressed quickly in an undershirt and boxers. There was no reason to fully dress; it wasn't as if Adrian hadn't seen everything, and he wanted to be comfortable physically at least.
He came back out to the living room just as Adrian was walking in. He plopped down on the couch and rubbed his eyes wearily, then took a long gulp of his whiskey.
*
Adrian's eyes followed William as the man moved over to the couch and sat down, drinking. He had changed out of costume. The long hair was still loose, though. He looked around, for a moment contemplating where to sit. Again his eyes rested on William and then the second glass in front of the couch. He moved over and sat down at the opposite end of the couch. Before he leant back, he picked up the glass and took a sip. Whiskey... good enough. He swallowed and leant back with a small sigh, silently letting the warmth from the alcohol distract him.
*
Bill glanced sidelong at Adrian and sipped his drink. "I have some rum I think, if you'd rather drink that. And I have some Egyptian herbs that I smoke sometimes..." He chuckled. The thought of Adrian smoking that...he just couldn't imagine it. Or, actually, he could, and it amused him highly. "Anyway. So. I think we need to talk, yes?" He curled his legs under him and shifted to sit sideways on the couch so he could face Adrian as they conversed.
*
Adrian arched an eyebrow at William at the mention of herbs. So, the man indulged himself in more than just muggle brews and alcohol. "Whiskey is fine." He mused for a moment before taking another sip. William was looking at him, even turned towards him. Adrian didn't change his position.
Yes, they needed to talk, this had gone outside their arrangement, reminiscent of their first encounter and yet not. This had been want... lust, and nothing else. There had been no purpose outside mutual pleasure... nothing to purge through intense pain, no thesis to prove... the realisation that it might not solely have been an experiment, but something completely different, was concerning him. What it was, he didn't know... and William wanted to talk about it. They should talk about it. But Adrian didn't know what good talking would do. Articulating vague thoughts and emotions was mostly beyond him. He preferred firm calculated facts, concrete statements, clear words.... but nothing he could say would be clear. "I think we do..."
*
Bill nodded, a serious expression on his face. "Yeah...Unfortunately, I've no real idea what to say. I'll be honest and tell you I'm confused. Extremely confused. I had kind of convinced myself..." He took a gulp of his drink. He had no intention of getting drunk, but he could feel the whiskey relaxing him. "That our little 'arrangement' had everything to do with pain and very little to do with sexual pleasure. But..." He took another sip. "That whole concept has been a bit shot down, given what just happened. I guess...I'd kind of like to know...Why did you fixate on me like that? Just because perhaps you feel our arrangement was unfair, that I always approached you rather than you approaching me? I'd just like to understand what the hell just happened, you know?"
*
Adrian thought for a moment, looking at his glass and the amber liquid. Questions... questions had answers. He had wanted William, the costume arousing him madly and once he was fixed on a goal, not much would be able to pull him away again. "I wanted you." A clear enough answer. He looked at William. "Only when you said no, did I think about our arrangement." That had been it. He would've gone after William under any circumstances, but only the rejection had forced him to actively try to coerce the man. His main confusion still rested with the fact that he had complied to William's wishes, excluding pain from the sex, distancing it clearly from their arrangement... and liked it.
*
Bill nodded. "I see." He kind of did. Adrian had only pursued him so actively because he'd refused him, and Adrian didn't like being told no. So, really...The whole thing hadn't been a problem for Adrian. He'd wanted sex, he'd asked Bill, Bill had said no, that made Adrian decide he wanted to get his way, and he had. Pretty straightforward. So why was Adrian looking and acting like something bothered him about it? "So you would have been just as content with someone else, but I was convenient? And then when I refused you, it made you want to assert yourself, so you refused to relent until I acquiesced? Is that....right?"
*
No, he realised, he wouldn't have been content with someone else. "No, it was you I wanted." That was slightly troubling, but not overly much. William had a very arousing body, more so than most, else he wouldn't have approached him in the first place, when they had met at the Pitch.
However, William intrigued him on several levels. Physically of course, but also professionally and... the personality... The way the man seemed to be able to switch modes in a blink of an eye. The more he got to know William, the more questions and mysteries came up. He wanted to solve the puzzle, wanted to see the truth, understand it, understand William. But that still didn't answer the question, why the sex tonight had been so dramatically different from earlier.
*
Bill was surprised at this information. But he didn't think asking Adrian why he'd wanted him specifically would do any good. "Oh. Well. I'm flattered, I think." He smiled wryly. "I...Dammit, I should have just brought you back here and let you hurt me. At least then I wouldn't be so fucking confused, even though I don't need that so soon after the last time, and I probably wouldn't have enjoyed it." he said, more to himself than to Adrian. He was frustrated and didn't know what to do about it. He took another sip of his drink and absently ran a hand through his hair in a methodical way, untangling it in small sections.
He continued doing this, thinking, gazing rather blankly at Adrian.
*
"You didn't want pain." Adrian stated the fact calmly, as he watched William comb fingers through the long hair. Then he looked up and met the blue gaze, even he could see the man was deep in thoughts.
It hadn't been his intention, not entirely... to cause pain, like he usually did during their 'sessions'. Not more, than he would've caused normally, when fucking somebody. But he hadn't caused real pain at all, had instead restrained himself when William had asked him to. And it had been good anyway, exceedingly good. But why had he done what William had wished? Given up control, basically? He took a large drink of whiskey and winced slightly as it burned its way down.
*
Bill blinked and nodded at Adrian, his eyes still unfocused, thinking. "No, I didn't want pain. I wanted...something else. The opposite of pain. Or maybe just it's....absence." But...why didn't he try harder to leave? Why didn't he just...order Adrian to leave him be? Because he valued their arrangement, and didn't want to risk losing it. Oh, Merlin, that was part of it. A big part. He had refused to assert his authority as a staff member because he didn't want to piss Adrian off enough to have him call of their meetings.
And he'd wanted sex; He'd seen Ron at the party, then Adrian had advanced on him. Bill knew Ron and he wouldn't be making love, they hadn't gotten that far, maybe never would. He was going home alone, depressed, and...Adrian had been persistent. Adrian had wanted him. And Bill had not only wanted the sex, he'd wanted...to be wanted. That was part of it, too.
And...Bill balked. He didn't want to examine this any further, but...he had to.
It was Adrian himself. Bill....desired him. Sexually. Not just for pain. Not....Just. For pain. Bill closed his eyes. This complicated things.
*
Adrian frowned slightly. Then William couldn't have a problem with what had happened. He had received what he had wanted. Why then did he need to talk? Adrian took another sip of whiskey, the warmth in his stomach relaxing him slightly. His mind was still a clutter and he suspected he would have to think more on this. A lot more.
"And you got that... so what is the problem?" Maybe knowing what William's problem was, would help him solve what his own problem was, and what he could do about it. He hated being confused and he would go very far to avoid it. On the surface, however, he had finally managed to fall into his natural air. He could force it, if he really wanted to.
*
"The problem...." Bill took a drink and leaned back on the couch, very relaxed now. "Is that I didn't want that kind of sex from *you.* You were just supposed to be someone I came to when I needed the pain element. And I....allowed it because I....wanted you. I mean, you aroused me and I wanted your body, for pleasure...That's....That wasn't something I expected. I can't just...have sex with you...That's...." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He spoke softly. "It's like cheating...too much like cheating...."
*
The faint frown melted into a openly surprised expression. Cheating? He hadn't known William had somebody else, after Fleur. Then again, he had made certain Adrian only came when called... owled, at more or less specified times. He wanted to ask who that other person was, but it wasn't really his business and he didn't expect William would think so either. Could be faculty... but... it could also be a student. Neither would surprise him. He would keep his eyes open.
Now he understood. William at least. As it was though, it hadn't helped him much. He drained his glass and put it down, still looking at the man next to him, letting his gaze run over his body. Yes, he was strongly attracted to William. Yes, he wanted sex with him. Yes, there were more things than sex, which interested him about William. And apparently no, the sex didn't necessarily have to include Adrian causing William pain, it was good anyway.
"I understand." He nodded slowly. There were still things confusing him about this, but not as much anymore. He should go, there was no reason for continuing the conversation. He rose and smoothed out the faint wrinkles in his costume. "Thank you for the drink."
*
Bill watched Adrian intently as he made to leave. He'd slipped a bit, there. But then...It wasn't that big of a deal that Adrian knew he was seeing someone. He'd figure that out eventually anyway. And Bill doubted Adrian would figure out who it was; after all, Ron visiting him a lot was only normal. They were brothers.
"Adrian....Wait." He said. "You looked really bothered earlier." He smiled. "Well, as bothered as I've ever seen you. Why should what we did be a problem from your point of view? It's not as though we've never had sex, and I kind of assumed you aren't in a 'relationship'...You're obviously experienced; Why would having sex with me throw you off like that? And why did you react like that when I kissed you, or tried to, after? You didn't seem hesitant to kiss me five minutes before....I know you probably enjoy being enigmatic, but I'd appreciate it if you could explain just what's so wrong with me that you reacted like that."
Bill gazed at Adrian, not wanting to look away or show any kind of hesitance here. He was being straightforward, and if Adrian was going to just leave, he'd have to be the one to look away first.
*
Adrian blinked and hesitated, the unexpected questions throwing him off course. William's eyes were fixed on his and it was hard to look away, even as the intense eye-contact further unsettled him.
He thought for a few moments, pondering what to say. "No, I'm not in a relationship." he didn't doubt his parents had arranged for him to marry some pure-blood girl of good heritage to ensure the continuation of the Pucey line, but that was business. A relationship would be something that implicated feelings, something he couldn't relate to, and basically a worthless, bothersome thing.
The sex without pain, just physical pleasure... Why had that bothered him? His eyes became slightly distant for a few moments as that thought ran through his head. "I complied with your wish for no pain, and still enjoyed it." Of course, fucking somebody caused physical reactions you mostly couldn't control, but he had enjoyed it very much and in the end he hadn't even thought about causing pain, the sex being enough to satisfy him.
The kiss. He had not seen that coming and it had been... unnecessary, as the hug. Why had William kissed him? "Why did you kiss me?"
*
Bill frowned, working this out. It seemed similar to his concern, but not quite the same. He was bothered that he'd enjoyed it without pain with *Adrian*....not that he'd enjoyed it without pain in general. But Adrian was concerned because he'd....liked sex? Just sex with no hurting? That was odd....He'd assumed he and Adrian had a strange arrangement, but maybe rough sex was the norm for Adrian.
"It bothers you that you enjoyed it even without the pain? I can relate to that....It bothers me that I enjoyed it without the pain, too." He didn't mention that most of it was because he'd been with Adrian and not with Ron. He knew he liked sex without pain; that was no revelation. But he'd never expected to want it like that with Adrian. "Does it....bother you....that I asked you not to hurt me and you....'complied?' That you did as I asked? I don't see how that's different from me asking you to hurt me and you complying....? Unless my asking was more of a fortunate coincidence...I mean....unless....you would have hurt me anyway, whether I asked for it or not, those other times...."
That had never occurred to Bill. He'd thought Adrian didn't mind hurting him, and enjoyed it, but...he'd also thought that if Bill hadn't asked, Adrian wouldn't have just naturally been rough with him. This was definitely something to think about. He was distracted now, and answered Adrian absently.
"I kissed you because you'd just fucked me, it had been wonderful, and I turned and saw you there looking so...unsure of it, and gorgeous, and I wanted to be close to you, wanted to hold you and kiss you, so I did....but you didn't seem to want it so I made myself pull away, even though I felt like kissing you breathless, right there in the hall...I kissed you because you looked like you needed kissing....And I wanted to feel you against me, to feel your mouth on mine again..." He trailed off, running his thumb along his lower lip, thinking. His words had surprised him; he hadn't realised just how much he'd wanted that kiss, until he'd been asked. This was Bad. He didn't have 'feelings' for Adrian, not romantic ones, like he did for Ron, but...the boy was more important to him than he'd led himself to believe. And that had not been in his plans, not at all.
*
Adrian mutely listened to William's words, intellectually understanding them, but emotionally it was a mystery for him, why the man had 'wanted' to kiss him, 'wanted' to be close, without any other reason than... feeling like it. That didn't make sense. He frowned again, eyes absently following the thumb trailing over William's lip.
He forced his thoughts back to William's first question. "It was not the complying... it was the fact ... that I enjoyed it more... than I had thought I would've... and that I didn't have to work very hard on restraining myself..." Wording his thoughts was still difficult, even after struggling with those thoughts for quite a while tonight. "...from hurting you." When he had said that, he realised he might have said more than he should have. William knew he liked causing pain, a lot of pain, but maybe not how much he liked it.
*
Bill continued rubbing his lip, thinking on what Adrian had said. He had to...restrain himself? From hurting Bill, and presumably others, during sex? Well...He had been told that Adrian was sadistic and enjoyed hurting others for fun. He'd just not thought the boy's sex life was included in that, but evidently it was.
So stumbling upon Bill must have been quite a find for Adrian. Just as stumbling upon Adrian had been quite a find for Bill. In a way, this made Bill feel a bit better, about the pain thing. Adrian truly did like doing it, he wasn't just indulging Bill when he did his thing. Bill should have realized it earlier, given the relish Adrian had shown last time. And how inventive he'd been. A person doesn't put that much effort into something that isn't important to them, or that they do just to appease someone else.
"I see...." He mumbled. So pain with sex was so ingrained for Adrian that having enjoyed Bill just for pleasure threw him off kilter....That was.....weird. Bill didn't get it. But he suspected Adrian didn't get him, either.
He looked at Adrian and stopped his thumb mid-stroke. "I wonder....Do I confuse and baffle you as much as you totally mystify me?"
*
Adrian looked from William's lips into the blue eyes. The confusion was so obviously mutual it was bordering on amusing. A joke he could understand. The corner of his mouth twitched slightly at that.
"Yes, I think so." And he doubted he would ever understand William completely. He didn't see that as a problem. Tonight had been a fluke and they would most probably return to their 'normal' arrangement. He didn't pretend to understand what had moved William to act as he had, so he disregarded it. He only kept it in memory to prevent himself from being totally caught off guard if William chose to act similarly on another occasion. Then he would maybe not understand, but at least know why.
*
"Well, at least we're both in the same situation, then." Bill smiled wryly. "I doubt we're capable of understanding each other, even though we do seem to have a lot in common. Kind of ironic, really." He stood and walked over to Adrian. "I guess we'll just have to leave it at that, then. I'll...see you around, I guess. Or something." Bill looked at Adrian's mouth. Damn. Why'd he have to be so desirable?
*
"Yes, you will." Adrian nodded lightly. He noted that William wasn't looking into his eyes, but lower... at his lips? Would he kiss Adrian again? The thought was not as unsettling as before, since now he would be more prepared for something like that. And William's kisses where by no means unpleasant, quite the opposite, as long as he knew it would be coming. But somehow he doubted William would do that after their conversation.
*
Bill nodded and smiled slightly. "So...Are you going to kiss me goodbye then?" He looked at Adrian with a teasingly, slightly disdainful expression. It seemed so strange to him that Adrian and he had done some truly unspeakable things together, but kissing....Spooked him. It was just weird.
*
Adrian arched an eyebrow, both at the question and at the expression on William's face. "Are you serious? Why?" Why should he kiss William goodbye? He hadn't done that before and there was no reason to start that now. He somehow suspected the man was doing this on purpose, to throw him off again, to see how he would react. He wanted an answer first, though. Before he reacted in any way.
*
"Because I'm a good kisser. You're a good kisser. I'd enjoy it, so would you. But I'm not about to....Beg....for it." He smirked at Adrian but didn't move toward the door.
*
Hmm...well, good arguments in favour, and now it seemed almost like a challenge, the smirk on William's lips revealing that to him. "Begging... you do that rather well, though." he returned the smirk. He wouldn't mind seeing that. It would round off the evening nicely.
He couldn't help being somewhat bemused about the ... request. Lovers kissed each other goodnight, that much he knew. At least in the manner of the kiss he suspected William wanted. They weren't 'lovers'. And hadn't the man just minutes before called the sex they'd had in the hallway 'cheating'? Logically, a kiss goodnight would be cheating as well then, wouldn't it? Maybe even more so, after contemplating the cheating in the first place. Interesting.
Without notice Adrian stepped forward, his body coming flush with William's and pulled him into a deep slow kiss, with a hand on the nape of his neck. He enjoyed it for a few moments, languidly stroking his tongue against William's, before drawing slightly away.
He looked at the man for a moment. "Hmm... Isn't that cheating as well?" Arching an eyebrow slowly, Adrian kept his hand on William's nape a second longer. before releasing him and stepping back. "Well, goodnight then. I'll see you around." He turned and walked towards the door.
*
Bill kissed back and sighed when Adrian pulled away. He gazed after the boy as he made for the door. "Yes, well, I guess so, but...The milk's already been spilled, there's no putting it back in the bottle now." He smiled faintly and turned away. "I guess you can see yourself out." Bill walked to the couch and sat down heavily. He didn't know what to think or how to feel.
*
Adrian looked over his shoulder as William sat down, looking ... he couldn't decipher the expression on his face. By Salazar, he hated not being able to understand when he wanted to. William's earlier words and current attitude just. Didn't. Fit. The. Fuck. Together. He looked away again and opened the door. Confusion was still predominant in his mind and it would take a while to sort through all this.
Silently he slipped out and closed the door behind him. Deep in thoughts, he didn't realise he had forgotten all about his staff and helmet, which were still leaning against an Armour near the great hall, before he had returned to the dorms and started undressing for the night. He didn't forget things like that, and when he did, it pissed him off. There would be no sleep tonight, that was just about the only thing Adrian knew for sure. The general noise level didn't help much either, but at least his yearmates retreated swiftly, when he told them he wouldn't ask them twice to shut the fuck up.