who i am.
They didn’t go to Yoona’s usual spot in the back. Seohyun led them to a separate room, no windows, closed doors, locks.
“Why are we here?” Yoona asked, nervous because while she hated the eyes that seemed to find her whenever seohyun was around her, she hated the lack of supervision more, as though this room kept obscene secrets and asked to commit them.
“It’s a little more private.”
“For your clients?”
“Do you want to be one?”
“N-no.”
“The privacy is for me.”
The walls of the room are red. The couches are velvet red. It saturates them and the light is dusky, cloudy, barely shining that makes seohyun, who is only sitting across from her, like a distant figure emerging from a black corridor. It was an inverted halo, and yoona feels like if god existed everything about this image would be unholy.
Seohyun’s lips move.
“Do you want something to drink?”
Yoona could use one, her mouth is dry, words rough against the roof of her mouth. But she doubts her stomach could keep it down.
“How do these things usually go?”
“Things? Can you even say it?”
Seohyun moves her hand down her leg, presumably smoothing out a wrinkle but it’s languid, purposeful. Yoona stares as she speaks.
“I’d rather not sully you.”
The grin Seohyun shows her is so prideful, so boastful, so tickled yoona was being considerate to seohyun’s name, something seohyun didn’t even care about.
“Things usually go with them asking me to sit by them. They’re typically nervous, telling me how it’s their first time doing things like this. I’d nod. I almost always just nod. And nod, and nod because you’d be surprised how much they talk. They would tell me how pretty I look. How cute. They’d start touching, very carefully and somewhere neutral, my arm, or my hand. Then my face, my neck, over my leg, pushing up my dress-”
“Stop.” Yoona swallowed away the lump through her narrowing throat, squeezing her. “Stop.”
Seohyun laughs, so comically loud, but still, it sounds real.
“You are too easy, Yunhee.” It’s such a passive statement, Yoona doesn’t know what to believe with Seohyun. “Okay, okay. Let’s do this your way.”
“There is no my way, Seohyun, I-”
Seohyun cocks an eyebrow, not much of an interruption, but it stops yoona midsentence nonetheless.
“You what, Yunhee?”
Yoona opens her hands, puts them back together.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
It barely registers on seohyun and yoona hates its, sitting on this couch, feeling like another cretin who’s sat there before. It’s so disgusting she stands.
“Then you should probably go.”
This can’t be a surprise. This can’t sting like it does. Yoona steps out but Seohyun stays behind, expecting the door to open again. It does, but it’s not yoona.
The older woman sits in Yoona’s spot and Seohyun frowns, because there are fewer things worse than unwanted company.
“Are you having fun, Seohyun?”
Seohyun thinks she should be a nuisance, play petulant and uncooperative, but she’s a little biting today.
“What if I am?”
The woman turns her chin, a robotic, controlled movement and it still brought uneasiness within seohyun after all these years.
“You know I do not mind a little cat and mouse game myself but not when in the end the mouse gets away.”
“Your little analogies are just as trite as you.”
“They get the point across.”
Seohyun plays bored.
“She’s a boring miss priss. And she’s not interested in whatever I have to offer and trust me, I’m offering.”
“Then stop offering. Less could be more with her.”
Seohyun crossed her arms and slunk back into the couch, no longer needing to uphold her ladylike poise.
“I don’t get the point of this.”
“Good thing I don’t pay you for that.”
The woman left and Seohyun was met with miserable loneliness once more.
“Why are we here?” Yoona asked, nervous because while she hated the eyes that seemed to find her whenever seohyun was around her, she hated the lack of supervision more, as though this room kept obscene secrets and asked to commit them.
“It’s a little more private.”
“For your clients?”
“Do you want to be one?”
“N-no.”
“The privacy is for me.”
The walls of the room are red. The couches are velvet red. It saturates them and the light is dusky, cloudy, barely shining that makes seohyun, who is only sitting across from her, like a distant figure emerging from a black corridor. It was an inverted halo, and yoona feels like if god existed everything about this image would be unholy.
Seohyun’s lips move.
“Do you want something to drink?”
Yoona could use one, her mouth is dry, words rough against the roof of her mouth. But she doubts her stomach could keep it down.
“How do these things usually go?”
“Things? Can you even say it?”
Seohyun moves her hand down her leg, presumably smoothing out a wrinkle but it’s languid, purposeful. Yoona stares as she speaks.
“I’d rather not sully you.”
The grin Seohyun shows her is so prideful, so boastful, so tickled yoona was being considerate to seohyun’s name, something seohyun didn’t even care about.
“Things usually go with them asking me to sit by them. They’re typically nervous, telling me how it’s their first time doing things like this. I’d nod. I almost always just nod. And nod, and nod because you’d be surprised how much they talk. They would tell me how pretty I look. How cute. They’d start touching, very carefully and somewhere neutral, my arm, or my hand. Then my face, my neck, over my leg, pushing up my dress-”
“Stop.” Yoona swallowed away the lump through her narrowing throat, squeezing her. “Stop.”
Seohyun laughs, so comically loud, but still, it sounds real.
“You are too easy, Yunhee.” It’s such a passive statement, Yoona doesn’t know what to believe with Seohyun. “Okay, okay. Let’s do this your way.”
“There is no my way, Seohyun, I-”
Seohyun cocks an eyebrow, not much of an interruption, but it stops yoona midsentence nonetheless.
“You what, Yunhee?”
Yoona opens her hands, puts them back together.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here.”
It barely registers on seohyun and yoona hates its, sitting on this couch, feeling like another cretin who’s sat there before. It’s so disgusting she stands.
“Then you should probably go.”
This can’t be a surprise. This can’t sting like it does. Yoona steps out but Seohyun stays behind, expecting the door to open again. It does, but it’s not yoona.
The older woman sits in Yoona’s spot and Seohyun frowns, because there are fewer things worse than unwanted company.
“Are you having fun, Seohyun?”
Seohyun thinks she should be a nuisance, play petulant and uncooperative, but she’s a little biting today.
“What if I am?”
The woman turns her chin, a robotic, controlled movement and it still brought uneasiness within seohyun after all these years.
“You know I do not mind a little cat and mouse game myself but not when in the end the mouse gets away.”
“Your little analogies are just as trite as you.”
“They get the point across.”
Seohyun plays bored.
“She’s a boring miss priss. And she’s not interested in whatever I have to offer and trust me, I’m offering.”
“Then stop offering. Less could be more with her.”
Seohyun crossed her arms and slunk back into the couch, no longer needing to uphold her ladylike poise.
“I don’t get the point of this.”
“Good thing I don’t pay you for that.”
The woman left and Seohyun was met with miserable loneliness once more.