Love Lost, Love Gained
Title: Love Lost, Love Gained
Rating: NC-17
Type: Yaoi
Pairings: Elricest
Warnings: Elricest, shota. Seriously, guys---shota. Don't like it? Don't read it. You have been warned.
A/N: I... had actually made up another LJ account to post this on, because I was afraid of what my F-list would think about it. But then some things happened... fullmetalrose posted a journal saying how she didn't care what others thought of her work, because of a less-than-friendly comment she received on a fic. And then I talked with bloody_winged and she helped me feel better about posting this as well. Thanks, you two, for making me feel strong enough to post this, instead of hiding it away on a secret journal. <3
~~~;~;~;~;~;~;~;~~~
Ed eased his eyes open, blinking a few times as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of his bedroom. He felt the bed shift beside him and rolled over to see Al crawling into his bed. A soft sigh passed his lips as Al looked at him, his eyes wide and fearful as he wordlessly sought security in his brother's bed once again.
How many times had this happened before? Too many, since their mother had died. Almost every night, Al would sneak into Ed's room and climb into bed with him, seeking some sort of safety and warmth throughout the night. And Ed could never deny him that, no matter how awkward it was. No matter that he felt strange things about his brother that he'd always learned were usually reserved for girls, and never family members.
Ed nodded and moved aside, letting Al slip in under the sheets with him. But instead of just settling in beside Ed like he usually did, Al wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug, trying to hold in the sad whimpers that were building in his chest.
“I miss her, Ed...” Al breathed out shakily against Ed's neck.
Ed's breath caught in his throat, but he refused to let himself cry. He had to be strong for Al, couldn't let him see that his big brother was hurting, too. But at the same time, he was at a loss as to what he could do to comfort Al.
Gently, Ed tilted Al's head up and looked into his eyes, frowning at the sadness that was in them. His own eyes widened slightly when an idea formed in his mind.
Isn't this... what Dad always did to Mom when she was crying... ? he thought as he leaned in towards Al, pausing for a moment before pressing their lips together.
Al let out a quiet squeak but didn't pull away, too confused by Ed's actions and his body's reactions to what was happening to protest at all. His heart quickened in his chest, feeling lighter than it had before; no longer heavy and full of pain.
“B-Brother... ?” Al whispered shakily, pulling away from Ed and giving him an uncertain look.
Ed stared at Al for a moment, feeling his lips tingle... somewhat pleasantly from the kiss. He didn't know what the feeling building inside of him was, but he was eager to feel more of it. His arms wound tightly around Al, pulling their bodies together.
Taking in a deep, steadying breath, Ed kissed Al again, a shudder wracking his body. He let out a quiet moan against his brother's mouth, his lips parting and his tongue flicking out curiously, dragging along Al's lower lip. Al squeezed his eyes shut tight, accidentally letting Ed's tongue slip into his mouth when he opened it in a surprised whimper. But he quickly relaxed as Ed explored his mouth, not resisting him at all as a pleasant heat spread out along his nerves.
“E-Ed...” he breathed out, pulling away and licking at his lips. “Ed, I feel... weird.”
Ed shifted and put his legs on either side of Al's knees, sitting on his legs and tilting his head slightly.
“Weird?” he asked, looking Al over. Al's face was flushed a dull red color and his chest heaved with each unsteady breath he took. Reaching out, Ed put his hand on Al's cheek, surprised to feel how hot his skin was. “You do feel warm.”
“That's... that's not it,” Al said, shaking his head and furrowing his brow a little.
Ed leaned over to take a closer look at his brother's eyes to see if he really was okay. As he moved, his hips rubbed against Al's and both of them gasped loudly from the sharp jolt that ran up their spines. Two pairs of golden eyes widened, looking hesitantly into the other, each asking the same silent question.
What am I feeling, and... is it right... ?
Something in the back of Ed's mind told him that this was wrong, even if he didn't know quite why that was. But he pushed it aside in favor of slowly rocking his hips, his breath catching repeatedly. Ed's eyes slid shut and he shivered as if he was cold, even though he felt a strange heat pulsing through his body, slowly moving lower until...
Ed let out a loud gasp, freezing up when he felt his cock twitch and harden. He'd never felt anything like that before. His body almost ached for him to move again, to grind against his brother. Looking down, he saw that Al was in a similar state to himself, biting down on his lip as he tried not to make any noise.
Giving in to his body's desires, Ed started to move his hips again, pressing down harder. Al let out a quiet whimper before finally tilting his head back with a keening moan. He started thrusting back up against Ed, shuddering as he felt the rough cloth of his pajama pants rubbing over his erection.
“Ed...” Al breathed out, gritting his teeth. He watched Ed's face, almost mesmerized by how beautiful he looked like that. The fact that he thought his older brother, his flesh and blood, was beautiful like that didn't bother Al at all. All he felt was love and in his young mind, nothing about love could be wrong.
Al's thoughts snapped off when Ed let out a loud cry, almost sounding confused as he moved his hips faster. His face contorted, almost looking like he was in pain. Before Al could ask him if he was okay, a sharp flash of heat rushed through him and he arched his back, his eyes shut tightly against the sudden, intense pleasure.
“E-Ed... I... I... feel...” Al moaned shakily. He was slowly tensing up and he bucked back, almost frantically, against Ed, just doing whatever his body told him felt right.
Ed whimpered loudly, feeling his stomach knotting pleasantly. He finally understood the confused, almost pained tone in his brother's voice. Suddenly, a loud cry tore from Ed's throat and his hips stilled, pushed down hard against his brother's as he came, soaking his pajamas in cum.
Al writhed beneath Ed, seeking more friction as he teetered at the edge. Feeling Ed's cock pulsing and spilling though his pants, quickly undid Al and he arched his back, coming with a choked moan. His whole body trembling, Al eased back down onto the bed, hugging Ed tightly.
“Brother...” he panted against Ed's neck before tiling his head up to look at him.
Ed put his arms around Al, giving him a gentle, loving squeeze. Kissing his brother again, Ed felt Al relax in his arms, nuzzling back into the embrace. A small smile crept over Ed's lips. Hopefully, this would replace some of the love that Al had lost...