[34]
[Private // hackable]
...Ugh. Johan, this... it doesn't help, but...
What does it say about me that I would so easily let go of such a benevolent spirit that had saved me at least once, perhaps more times than I can remember at the moment...?
...That I am a horrible person, perhaps.
Yet, I knew that already. Whether I regret being the way I am or not is another story entirely, however.
Hane Kuriboh... you would frown upon all this madness, I'm sure. I wonder where that benevolence would finally run out when it came to me.
And Yubel. She... I knew she'd figure it out and then never leave me alone about it. Yet even so... I couldn't not do it. She values nothing but the one thing I cannot give to her, mostly due to my own imperfections. As well as our opposite orientations... but that was my fault as well.
...I really need to stop this.
One of these days, I'll remember something that will set me straight once more, something that will turn me back to the direction I had been moving toward before being brought here. Some sort of clarification, probably. That purpose I had before... I need to renew it. Not change, but renew. I refuse to let go of my original goal, as impossible as it may seem now. But I feel like I've wavered, and I need something to strengthen my will, in order to return to the path I started on...
[/Private]
((2% on the events of episodes 3-6, which I haven't chronicled ICly. Because he still has a lot to remember, so I can do this much at a time. >>; It's worth noting that in episode 4, Juudai used Hane Kuriboh's special little last-ditch effort strategy for the first time, and in episode 6, he was saved from falling completely into... some fake-shadow-game darkness (not his own, mind you) by Hane Kuriboh's voice calling out to him. 17% total, 1% remaining.))