(no subject)
Would it be too much to ask the universe just to throw me a bone?
I want to be back in Bristol SO BADLY, I don't even mind working for the money, just as long as I get some.
Why is this so difficult?
Why does being an adult suck so much? It's not like I'm the first adult ever, why hasn't the world made itself easy to live in by now, instead of all this crap - why does writing a letter saying 'oh hai, my dad is giving me no moneys, can I has more off you plz?' mean more than saying the exact same thing over the phone?
Why does no fucker want to give me a job? I mean come ON, I'm educated, smart, good with computers, my covering letters are always polite and explain exactly why I'm qualified for your fucking job, so why can't you people even give me an interview?
WHY can't you people even GET BACK TO ME EVEN TO SAY NO YOU RUDE FUCKWITS.
Seriously it's so impolite.
Why can't university results be more straight forward?
AND why do people keep asking me for money I just don't fucking have?
Are you through throwing curve balls at me fate? See what you did there? You made me use a baseball metaphor, fucking baseball, I don't even know how you play! (Well that's a lie, I know it's like rounders, only more American).
Every time I think "ok, I've got it under control, that's fine, I've got money coming in, I've paid for stuff, everything else I need to pay for can wait, i can do this." something else happens. Another bill, my dad just casually throwing in that he's going to stop sending me money, and THAT'S only because I brought it up first, in passing, about why I'm not getting a lot of jobseeker's - I can't help but wonder when the FUCK he was going to tell me, was he going to wait until I was frantically trying to pay for everything halfway through September to just go 'oh yea, by the way, you've finished uni so you can GO FUCK YOURSELF, NO MORE MONEY FOR YOU'
If he'd told me this earlier in the month I might have got my JSA sorted out quicker, I really don't need this shit right now.
I feel like I'm being punished for doing the right thing - I didn't need to tell the JSA people I was getting money off my dad, and when my mum told me to tell them I wasn't I said no, because I didn't want to get caught out and lie to them. So after putting up with all the SHIT from my mum about that, and her demands that I give her all the money dad sends to pay for food and bills and stuff, now it turns out I won't be getting it anyway and I have to write a fucking letter to JSA and it'll probably be about a fucking month before my money goes up and I CAN'T AFFORD IT.
Christ by the time it gets sorted out I'll probably have a job - though I've thought that for the past two fucking months.
Seriously, there's enough suitable job vacancies for me to apply to 3/4 a WEEK, WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T ANY OF THEM GOT BACK TO ME YET.
I hate this, I just want to be back in Bristol with all my friends, because at least then even being flat fucking broke and struggling to make ends meet would be FUN.
I NEED people, people who aren't relatives, and I'm just dying up here.
If I don't get any visitors in this two weeks I don't think I'm going to survive them. Not in a horribly melodramatic omg-I'll-kill-myself way, I just think they're going to break me.
This is longer than I expected it to be, I was just going to go 'why is everything shit?' and leave at that, I didn't expect to start ranting... huh...
I want to be back in Bristol SO BADLY, I don't even mind working for the money, just as long as I get some.
Why is this so difficult?
Why does being an adult suck so much? It's not like I'm the first adult ever, why hasn't the world made itself easy to live in by now, instead of all this crap - why does writing a letter saying 'oh hai, my dad is giving me no moneys, can I has more off you plz?' mean more than saying the exact same thing over the phone?
Why does no fucker want to give me a job? I mean come ON, I'm educated, smart, good with computers, my covering letters are always polite and explain exactly why I'm qualified for your fucking job, so why can't you people even give me an interview?
WHY can't you people even GET BACK TO ME EVEN TO SAY NO YOU RUDE FUCKWITS.
Seriously it's so impolite.
Why can't university results be more straight forward?
AND why do people keep asking me for money I just don't fucking have?
Are you through throwing curve balls at me fate? See what you did there? You made me use a baseball metaphor, fucking baseball, I don't even know how you play! (Well that's a lie, I know it's like rounders, only more American).
Every time I think "ok, I've got it under control, that's fine, I've got money coming in, I've paid for stuff, everything else I need to pay for can wait, i can do this." something else happens. Another bill, my dad just casually throwing in that he's going to stop sending me money, and THAT'S only because I brought it up first, in passing, about why I'm not getting a lot of jobseeker's - I can't help but wonder when the FUCK he was going to tell me, was he going to wait until I was frantically trying to pay for everything halfway through September to just go 'oh yea, by the way, you've finished uni so you can GO FUCK YOURSELF, NO MORE MONEY FOR YOU'
If he'd told me this earlier in the month I might have got my JSA sorted out quicker, I really don't need this shit right now.
I feel like I'm being punished for doing the right thing - I didn't need to tell the JSA people I was getting money off my dad, and when my mum told me to tell them I wasn't I said no, because I didn't want to get caught out and lie to them. So after putting up with all the SHIT from my mum about that, and her demands that I give her all the money dad sends to pay for food and bills and stuff, now it turns out I won't be getting it anyway and I have to write a fucking letter to JSA and it'll probably be about a fucking month before my money goes up and I CAN'T AFFORD IT.
Christ by the time it gets sorted out I'll probably have a job - though I've thought that for the past two fucking months.
Seriously, there's enough suitable job vacancies for me to apply to 3/4 a WEEK, WHY THE FUCK HAVEN'T ANY OF THEM GOT BACK TO ME YET.
I hate this, I just want to be back in Bristol with all my friends, because at least then even being flat fucking broke and struggling to make ends meet would be FUN.
I NEED people, people who aren't relatives, and I'm just dying up here.
If I don't get any visitors in this two weeks I don't think I'm going to survive them. Not in a horribly melodramatic omg-I'll-kill-myself way, I just think they're going to break me.
This is longer than I expected it to be, I was just going to go 'why is everything shit?' and leave at that, I didn't expect to start ranting... huh...