[Sakumoto Fic] Thunderstorms and Tempest Cloud 2.2: ... and Ripples
[Cloud 0: The Calm Before The Storm] |
[Cloud 1: Electric Sparks In The Clouds] |
[Cloud 2.1: Puddles... ]
And that was how he found himself in the stairwell across the corridor where their green room was. Leave it to the sensibilities of the conscientious member not to wander too far in case it came time for taping to begin.
Leaning his right shoulder against the wall while his hands were shoved deep into his pockets to hide their desire to pick at something, anything, his eyes drifted between the sharp toes of his own shoes and the man before him, watching Sho’s feet tap out a somewhat nervous rhythm as the man paced across the short landing, rubbing at the back of his neck.
“Ne- I need to ask you something… I’ll understand if you choose not to comment.” Leaning against the opposite wall so that they were face to face with barely two arm spans’ width of space between them, Sho said the words that were accompanied by a sharp release of breath.
Here it comes.
“What was said… It’s not true you know.” Sho said with an awkwardly rueful smile. One that Jun had always loved to see because it reminded him of just how gentle Sho really was away from the cameras. But one that right now, honestly, did little to help matters.
“Hmm.” Jun was careful to keep his voice even, waiting for further elaboration.
“Anyway, what I really wanted to ask was… for your help, your advice.” The guy seemed almost embarrassed at the words coming out of his mouth.
“My… help.”
“Yeah,” he added with a wry grin. “It’s Maki-chan, you see.” At the questioning gaze that Jun trained upon him, Sho hurried to explain. “I mean, not that there’s anything between the two of us, it’s just that I kinda need… some advice… from you.”
“My… advice,” Jun knew he was beginning to sound like a robot, but words seemed extraneous for the moment.
“Yeah. She was really nice on crank-up shots and said something that kind of threw me for a loop. So… seeing how you worked with her just recently, I was wondering if I was just reading between lines where there were none, or…” His words trailed off uncertainly, leaving a somewhat uncomfortable silence in the seconds that followed.
Jun continued to stare at the man before him, torn between wanting to ask if this was REALLY what he had been dragged out to have a conversation about. “So this… this was what you wanted to talk about?”
The sharpness of the words must have come through because Sho’s eyebrows quirked just a fraction. “Yeah…” came the hesitant reply, before he rushed on to expound on how it wasn’t his intention to start up anything with the actress, about how he knew it was the last thing he - or the group - needed. How there was no need to worry, and that it was just because he didn’t want to spoil a potentially good working relationship.
“You came to me, to ask about a girl.” The curtness in Jun’s tone would have scared off someone who didn’t know better, but this was Sho. Sho, who had known him for more than a decade and knew better than to be easily put off by his prickly exterior. Sho, who cared for Arashi and him even though he’d rather that the care be of a more exclusive nature. Sho, who had never been shy about failing in the silly experiments Aiba cooked up.
Only, his failure this time was poorly timed.
“I’m probably misunderstanding something right? And I just didn’t want to create any unnecessary ripples. Afterall, I think the group’s hardly in need of a scandal right?” Sho said laughingly as he reached out an arm to comfortingly pat the younger lad’s shoulder. A pat that landed on thin air as Jun took a step back, his eyes filled with pained consternation.
“Scandal?” The word fell out in a slightly horrified whisper. Jun’s throat felt as if a hand was slowly tightening its vice around his throat.
Sho’s voice began to rise a little too, obviously misunderstanding the cause for the disquietened man’s behaviour. “No, no. No scandal. I’m… just giving an example. Look,” he added with a laugh. “Worse case of a scandal, it’s just a misunderstanding with a female celebrity. Better that than with… others right?” He laughed at his own attempt to lighten the mood.
And then it all made sense.
“So why couldn’t you just say it like it is, instead of beating about the bush?” Jun’s soft voice was tinged with bitterness, as the implications of what Sho was trying to say slowly filtered through.
“Eh? What?” Sho’s voice raised a notch, the questioning tone punctuating his words. “What did I say?”
“Sho, I thought we owe each other more than this. You may have regretted what you said that night, and I won’t… can’t blame you for it,” Jun pushed on, afraid that the next words out of the increasingly flustered man would stop him from putting out into the open the emotions he had bottled up for so long inside of him. “A decade of history between us should stand for so much more than running around in circles, so let’s just put it out there once and for all.”
A deep breath.
The voice was gentle, but no less potent as Jun’s emotions were unbridled. “I thought things were different between us now, but if you think you need to use a female celebrity as an excuse to give me your answer… I’m not sure how much I can take of you changing your mind on a whim. I just… can’t.”
“Change my mind? That night… Excuse? Jun, I’m not following what you’re saying!” Confusion and anguish were awash on the man’s face, and any other time, Jun would have gladly taken to task any person who would cause such turmoil to one he held in such high regard.
Only… The guilt. Bewilderment. Anger. Stunned silence. All that filled the air between them were things that should never have been, but there they were, and backing out was not an option.
And the stalemate had to be broken.
“I… need to go.” Even as the words left his lips, Jun turned, reaching for the exit that would release him from the rapidly claustrophobic atmosphere he found himself in. He could hear his heartbeat thrumming loudly within his ribcage, breath rising shakily as he felt moisture gather behind his lids. Closing his eyes to will them away, he took a deep breath. But when his vision returned, the hand that he found covering his own on the doorknob made him look up at the body that obstructed his way.
His gaze clashed hotly with deep brown orbs that reflected zero tolerance for further indulgence.
“Not until you explain to me exactly what you mean.” All traces of humour and uncertainty were erased from Sho’s countenance, but Jun could feel the prickling heat rise up his neck and in his cheeks as he struggled to keep his emotions in check.
His words were tight, clenched. “Let. Go.”
“No. Ju-”
An unexpectedly strong jerk on his captured arm was all it took, and Jun was no longer blocked from his path of freedom, starring over his shoulder at the ground where Sho lay on his rear end, his mouth agape.
With the horror of his latest actions added to the overflowing cauldron of his emotions, Jun felt himself beginning to hyperventilate, his head getting lighter even as his vision began to blur.
“I told you… Let. Go.” Practically choking out the last two words, Jun yanked the door open, only for him to instinctively sidestep as a figure tumbled forward, and he came eye-to-eye with the blank gaze of a fellow member.
“Um… Time for standby- uh, filming… studio…” The dark-haired man-child uncharacteristically tripped up in trying to explain his presence, even as Jun’s expression closed in on itself.
Eyes flashing blackly, Jun forced his words through gritted teeth. “I’ll… be back in ten.” Without a further glance backwards, the youngest took a swift left turn that took him out of the cloistered space and past their green room, knowing that if he looked at Sho and saw whatever expression he wore on his face, his mask would break. His pace picked up as he bit down on his trembling lips, and reminded himself that he was a professional who had a job to do.
Which was why no one needed to see the hot tears tracking down his face, the soft hiccups growing more erratic as he fought a losing battle for control.
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Cloud 3: The Downpour Doesn't Let Up here.
A/N: Special thanks go to iupdarlin, astrangerenters and elendiliel for your feedback on my problem with the progress of the fic. It really motivated me to relook at my organization and approach to writing. Still, it took about another week before this could get posted. Sorry for the delay. I’m hoping the next part won’t be as badly affected as this one. LOL. *silly alien signing out*