Chapter fifteen: Distraction for greater profit

[darkisrising]

In which the Russian embassy is infiltrated and things are stolen. (the end)


Harry calls the morning of the heist, just as Ben's fumbling for the spare jar of
marmite. Keira's currently excavating the very last dregs of the previous jar
with a determined look. "Yeah, boss?" Ben asks, pulling the jar out from behind
the marmalade.

"Just checking in." harry drawls. "Barely heard a peep from you, the past few
weeks. Take it you're busy."

"Busy's putting it mildly, boss." He glances at keira, who's mouthing 'Harry?' at
him. He nods, and she goes back to determinedly scraping at the inside of the
marmite jar with her knife. "I didn't know this much work went into planning
heists."

"Well, Keira is known for planning the things to within an inch." Harry says. " 'S
why we hire her, remember? So how's it going?"

"Stealing it tonight." Ben says, scrabbling at the plastic shrink wrap over the lid
and failing to get purchase. "Bollocks." he curses.

"Problem?" harry asks, sounding sceptical.

"Fuck - no, it's nothing, harry." Ben reassures him. "Just trying to get into the
marmite and can't get that bloody plastic covering off."

"if in doubt, use a knife." Harry says, now sounding distinctly amused. "So
what's this I hear about you spending all the hours at a gym? People've seen
you going in and out've it the past few weeks. Though that kind of place wouldn't
have enough places to plug in a laptop."

Ben groans inwardly. "Tango lessons, boss. Don't ask."

He can hear the raised eyebrow from here. "i won't, but now I know who to turn
to when we need someone to impress a posh wife or two."

For the first time in the past few weeks, they're not heading to the gym, and Ben
doesn't have a spare towel stuffed in his bag. They fetch up in the office the
others've been using, covered in papers and maps and diagrams of the inner
workings of the security cameras. On one of the tables there's what looks like
the guts of a security camera and some keypads for alarm systems. Ben pokes
one gingerly. "You're pretty thorough about this."

Danny makes an annoyed noise. "They're not very complex models, and the
wiring's more legwork than anything. You'd expect them to upgrade more
often."

"Thought that was te kind of thing you'd be pleased about." Ben says.

Danny sniffs. "Professional pride. They should have some, considering it counts
as the territory of another country. Who used to be at low-grade war with this
one."

Ben glances at Kamarov, who's studying a list of people attending, going
through their personal details. Ben knows he already knows this stuff, he
mentioned it, but a reminder can't hurt. "So we'd be playing cat and mouse with
Kamarov?"

Kamarov makes an amused noise. "Hardly. Sorry to disappoint you, but the
Mi-13 agencies do not take part in the petty squabbles and wars between
countries. Our main concern is defense and order." He pauses. "Oh, and
customs and excise."

Ben looks at him, curiosity piqued. "Why not? You're a government agency..."

"The supernatural world does not recognise boundaries in the same way. We
also take the longer view." Kamarov informs him curtly.

"Oh." Ben says. Clearly not going to get any more than that for an explanation.

Later in the day, getting something to eat a few hours before Ashley, jenna and
Danny have to get into place for their part in this. Keira, Ben and Kamarov're
going in at the same time as the rest of the guests, complete with invites and
places on the list, through the front door. The team are currently squabbling
over Tim Burton films.

Ben leans over and says quietly to Kamarov "Is it true about the boyfriend and
kid? Keira mentioned it and I wasn't sure if she was winding me up."

Kamarov pulls out his phone and flicks through the pictures, pausing and
handing it to him. It's taken at arms' length, Kamarov on the sofa with a bloke
curled into his side and a little girl on his lap, looking at the camera quizzically,
eyebrow raised in a really familiar expression. "There you go." He says,
amused. "Proof that spooks have lives too."

Ben frowns at the photo, looking at the expression on the little girl's face. "Um.
I know it's none of my business, but -" He glances at Keira "- Your daughter
looks really -"

Kamarov chuckles. "No, she isn't. I haven't seen her mother since she was
born. Keira is simply a very bad influence on her."

Ben smooths down his suit lapels as they wait to go in, behind someone Keira's
informed him is a ballet dancer. At least with all his tango drilling he can tell
she's got terrifying posture and control.

Around him, it's an impatient shift of incredibly rich and supposedly important
people in some of the tackier clothing he's seen. Way too many furs and
overdoing the gold. ...And he just judged someone on their taste in designer
clothing that wasn't a suit. keira sees him wince slightly. "What?" she murmurs.

"I just - hang on." Ben murmurs, then taps it out on his phone and presses
send. Keira pulls hers out and sees what he's written. 'Oh christ I've become a
fashion snob. check out the eurotrash with no idea about how to spend her
money.' Keira smirks, knowing she's wearing a disgustingly tasteful backless
dress and jewellery to match, and they make their way in.

They get their coats taken, and shown to a room with violinists playing discreetly
in a corner, and waiters milling around with trays of champagne and juice.
Kamarov on the other side of the room takes a glass of champagne and sips
from it, drifting around and making small talk, charming as he goes. He catches
eyes with Ben and Keira, nodding, then continues on. Ben and Keira do the
same. They're not pretending they don't know each other - that's not the aim -
but it's easier to assess the security separately Ashley and Danny're witht eh
kitchen and wait staff, waiting it out until the meal's over and the corridors clear.
They already chatted up the violinists to play a few tango songs after dinner, a
bit of money changing hands. Three are enough, and won't put them out.
Jenna's plugged into the security cameras, monitoring what's going on, ready to
send messages of when to start disabling security systems and when to yell to
get out of there if security come calling.

By the time dinner's announced, they're all still only on half a glass of
champagne. Sipping and chatting, taking the sips very rarely. Better to be
sober. Especially in Ben's case, because unlike the other two, he's never had to
be someone else in front of other people.

Dinner is more light chatter, and very good food. Keira's pouting slightly. Ben
looks up to see that she's only eaten half of what she normally does by this
time. It's not to do with the amoutn she's chattering, sicne he knows she can
talk nineteen to the dozen and still make a pizza disappear in under two
minutes, then start eyeing everyone else's food. Girl eats like a horse.
Something to do with how much she burns off due to the job. "Something wrong
with the food?" he asks.

"No, it's really good, I'm just not able to eat much since it'll upset my stomach
later." She sighs. Oh. right. Lifts. he wouldn't want to do those on a full
stomach either, she's got a point. She turns to Kamarov. "Food good on your
end?"

"Fine." Kamarov says, spearing a sliver of potato.

"Good as home?" Keira asks. It's some fusion take on traditional Russian with
other influences. Or to put it another way, the Russian equivalent of The Ivy or
Canteen.

Kamarov raises an eyebrow. "Aside from the fact that this is gourmet? My
mother could burn water. My father wasn't much better."

"Okay, so bad comparison there." she cuts up some cabbage and contemplates
it. "maybe we should've gone with waltzing matilda."

Kamarov smiles sharply. "The day i wear a hat with corks on it is the day I'm
dead, and even then I promise to come back as a zombie to kill everyone who
sartorially assaulted my corpse." the woman next to him, an actress of
dame-like stateur, though he doesn't know if they can have dames in Russia,
blinks slightly at that. She speaks English to a point, but not completely fluently.
Kamarov switches to Russian and it sounds liek he's apologising and translating,
judging by the way comprehension dawns and she nods.

he spends the rest of the meal chatting to her, being as smooth as it's possible
to be, and Keira smirks. "A tenner says he was just waiting for that moment to
break the ice."

"I'm not taking your money." Ben replies. "Chances he's going to dine out on
this for ages with all his mates back in Moscow?"

"Oh, just slight." Keira grins. "I googled and apparently she's Dame Judi Dench
levels in Russia."

When the meal's finished, the waiters come to clear their plates away, and
surprise, surprise, Danny's managed to wangle the section of their table. "We're
ready to start disabling the minute we get the signal." he murmurs, leaning over
Keira.

"Thank you very much." She grins brightly as he takes her plate away.

After everything's been cleared away, including the coffee, everyone's politely
encouraged in the direction of the room they had drinks in, only now there's a
definite dance space indicated. Kamarov takes Keira's elbow and joins the other
couples doing your standard sway from side to side. However, they're doing an
actual dance, a foxtrot if Ben's forced watching of hours of Strictly clips is
anything to go by. There's a few admiring glances like you always get when
people note you can actually dance, and it's not that different in reaction from
the nods and approving glances you get from dancers who can really dance in
clubs.

After a few songs, the dancefloor and surrounds are filling up a fair bit. When
it's time for the band's five minute break, and everyone on the dancefloor
politely claps, Kamarov goes over to the band. "I believe you were asked if you
had any tango music?" He enquires.

The cellist nods. "Yep. When d'you want it played?"

"The next set, if you could." Kamarov says.

"Gotcha." he takes a drink of the water by his foot. "Any reason? Wanting to
impress someone?"

"You could say that." Kamarov says, mouth twitching slightly, and going to get
his own drink.

When the band return, they play a song Ben and Keira dance to, some basic
steps, and then the tango music starts up. And they begin to walk. In their
ears, Jenna says "showing-off is a go. go for it, boys."

Interestingly, they get more glances for doing proper tango than the foxtrot did.
guess it's more recognisable. Ben slides his hand down Keira's hip to her thigh,
pulling it up and stepping back on his back foot so they do the classic tango
lean. That certainly gets people's attention. he lets her down, two steps, and
spins her out, at which point Kamarov catches her other hand, pulling her from
Ben's grasp and into hold, locking gazes, then dropping her so she does the
most of the way splits between his legs. Ben turns to watch as they do, catching
the eye of the band, who're looking amused and do the impressed nod at him.
The dancers around them are starting to back off, giving them more space to
perform, and more onlookers are gathering, interested in the prospect at what
appears to be a show.

Keira and Kamarov dance a few more steps, then Keira jumps up on his hip as
they turn, swaying back and forth a couple of times, before leaping down so
she's facing him, then her leg slides up to his hip, hooking round it. Kamarov
steps back, and dances round her as she pivots. There's a little bit of discreet
clapping at that one. Keira lets her leg down, and Kamarov folds his arms
around her, turning her so she's got her back to him, and they dance for a
minute on the spot, eyes half-closed and looking like they're thinking. Ben's
never figured out how that manages to look so good, but it always does. Keira
kics back a couple of times between Kamarov's legs, and that's his signal, Ben
going to join them, tangling his fingers with theirs on Keira's hip and fitting his
other over kamarov's on their outstretched arm, pressing his body up against
Keira, dancing back and forth and turning as one, taking turns to kick between
the others' legs. Then he steps back as Kamarov lets go and takes her for a
turn round th floor. they've definitely got space now, the crowd having
completely stopped to spectate on the show. Several of the husbands and older
people are looking terribly impressed, and he expects the embassy's going to be
getting compliments for the 'unscheduled' performance. Especially since it
excuses those who don't fancy dancing from dancing.

Kamarov dances round the corners and looking vaguely like a bullfighter, before
slipping in behind keira, pulling her away from Ben, quickly spinning her ont he
spot, lifting her up and spinning her round in something more graceful, Keira
wrapping one leg around his hips and holding the other leg out behind her.
There's more clapping. The lift ends, keira slides down, caresses Kamarov's
face, then spins out and Ben cuts in to dance with Kamarov, fixing him with a
chalenging stare.

They get most of the way through the third song, the band having really got into
it, all elbows and terribly serious expressions, when jenna's voice comes over
their earpieces. "Brace yourselves, boys and girls..."

Kamarov and Ben both grab Keira between them, lifting her up, managing to
time it perfectly with the alarms going off across the building. Ashley planted
smoke bombs under a bunch of the fire alarms earlier, and he's just hit the red
button. A steward calls for calm as everyone starts to look around frantically,
not sure if it's a real fire or not. "If you could all make your way outside ina
calm and orderly fashion, and follow the directions of the staff and fire marshalls
who will direct you to the nearest fire exit. please do not panic."

Kamarov and Ben let keira down, taking her shoes as they do, and let the crowd
push them towards the fire exits.

Keira slips throguh the crowd and out of the room the dance was being held in,
Danny passing her the bag she brought in once she's into the hallway, just big
enough for the statuette. Then it's pelting it through the corridors, pulling on her
gloves as she goes, and tapping in the codes they got off their research into the
security locks, into the room the statuette's kept in, and applying the correct
pressure and lockpicks to get the statuette out of its cabinet with the very heavy
ornate glass doors. Jenna disabled the infra-red and cameras down this section
already, looping the clip of an empty corridor. Definitely not for the casual
tourist at this stage of its keeping.

She winces on opening the doors, the waves of whatever the curse and
accumulated deaths over the years manufactured hitting her right in the face,
and it's all she can do not to be sick. It's not so much the flashes of all the
deaths, she's used to that, it's the residue, thick and tar like, with added cold
fingers down her spine and swirling around her hind brain. Almost wishes one of
the lads was the one doing this, as they've got the headcase qualities of a very
deaf peanut, but the problem there is that they're just not as fast. Keira grits
her teeth and lifts it out, wishing she was doing this with a set of tongs, but the
gloves will have to do for now. At least it's not touching her skin. Into the bag
inside bag, spelled by kamarov with a few holding and masking spells, and she
immediately feels better on closing it. Close everything up, close the doors
behind her and pelt it back down to where the last stragglers of the crowd are
getting out, putting on her best confused look as she stumbles out.

Outside, Ben and kamarov are calling for her, doing their best frantic, and she
falls into their arms, babbling "I got turned around, it was so scary -" while they
make soothing noises.

and from there it's a simple matter of keira slipping her shoes back on, which
they picked up and her pressing her earpiece twice, the signal that it's time to
get out of there.

"Cameras back on." jenna says. "Now get out of there."

in the milling crowds, it's easy enough to slip away, and they slip round the
corner, putting their coats back on, chattering and laughing, Keira hanging on to
both of them. "Good thing you picked up the coats on your way out." She says.

"I had no intention of being cold on the way home." Kamarov says. "Did you get
it?"

"Yep. How'd the band take it?" Keira asks.

"Actually came up and congratulated us on the way out." Ben says. "Sounds like
they get a bit bored playing for dinner dances."

they make their way to the tube, kamarov getting off with the bag, presumably
in the direction of a decently shielded lockup for the statuette, and Keira and
Ben ride it to their stop.

"So how do you like planned heists?" keira asks as they go up the stairs.

"Really sodding exhausting, is what." Ben replies. "How do you cope with putting
so much into what's just one night's work?"

"It's fun and profitable." keira says. "Besides, if you'd been with team techie,
you'd have been there for more than one day with all the setup they've been
having to do, along with drilling for waiter duties."

"Instead, I get three weeks being drilled in tango and collapsing on the sofa
each night in exhaustion." Ben says dryly.

Keira smirks. "But very very worth it in the end. And you're not exhausted
tonight, right?"

"Mentally, maybe.." Ben replies, eyeing her.

That's when two lads come clattering round the corner, down the stairs and
knocking Ben for six as they do, sending him tumbling down the stairs to land in
a painful looking heap at the bottom. The only way keira didn't go was her
reflexes, managing to turn her possible tumble into a controlled bounce.

She lands beside Ben, turning to yell "Fucking arseholes!" in the direction the
idiots disappeared to down the tunnel. She touches Ben gingerly on his
shoulder. "You think you can get up?"

"Dunno." Ben winces, in a lot of pain from where his leg twisted under him as he
landed. Keira gets her arm under his shoulders, levering him up. at which point
it's bloody obvious there's no way he can put weight on his bad leg. "Think it's
broken." Ben says, looking at it.

"Think you're right." Keira says. "Okay, first thing is to get you to the top of
these stairs. Think you can get up them on your arse while I go for one of the
station people? It's flat to the escalator once we're up these."

They get a call when Ben's laid up in bed. "It go all right? Kamarov's just
thanked me for the help." harry asks.

"...sort of." Ben says, sighing as he looks over his cast. Which Keira is already
scrawling across.

"Sort of?" Harry asks. "What's sort of mean?"

"Well, the job went off smoothly, Kamarov's got what he wanted. Only I got
knocked for six by a couple of tossers coming out of the tube and I'm in Euston
laid up with a broken leg." Ben states.

Harry snorts. "Bloody hell. This I've got to see."

he turns up an hour later and eyes the scene before him, Ben with his leg up
and Keira sitting on the edge of the bed. "Very domestic."

"Funny, Harry." Keira says.

"This mean your tango-ing days over?" Harry inquires.

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?" Ben groans.

"Not if I can help it." Harry smirks, eyeing where Keira's holding Ben's hand.