interview questions from tradescant
1. Tell me about your dream fanfic. (It can be a real fic that you love, or an imaginary one that you'd like to see--but say which, please!)
ohhh, cool question. I was gonna do both HP and LoTR, but the LoTR got long and I am now too tired. I might do the HP in another post. Anyway, this fic is completely imaginary, and likely downright impossible. *g*
My ideal LoTR fic will be 400,000 words long or better, and it will be gorgeously written in Tolkien-homage style, only with better characterization. It will begin with a gritty slashy-enemy interlude between Denethor and Aragorn-as-Thoronogil wherein Denethor tries to kill Thoronogil, and they have sex, in whichever order is hottest. It will include at least one scene with the Corsairs at Umbar, because, well, sailing ships. Yum.
Next, it will chronicle the incestuous love affair between Boromir and Faramir, with a very long and suitably angsty first-time scene followed by many subsequent encounters wherein they are both terrified Denethor is going to catch them at it. Because I am depraved, it will also include scary abusive Denethor doing fairly awful things to them both, so that they must do their best to protect one another. I want a nice detailed scene on how the palantir works and what it's doing to Denethor. Faramir should tag around after Mithrandir and maybe have sex in a library. With Boromir, I mean. *g* Faramir should *almost* discover the palantir at some point, maybe once he is based in Ithilien, and he and Denethor should have a particularly nasty fight. Also, Faramir should have visions.
Then I want a lovely long section on Faramir-as-Ranger, detailing his life in Ithilien fighting off Mordor's nasties, and the way that Gondor is slowly losing ground despite their best efforts. It should be full of Tolkien-ish atmosphere and be liberally interspersed with more torrid Boromir/Faramir sex, and Faramir will always be short of men and supplies. I also want to see why Faramir knows what Cirith Ungol is, so maybe he and his rangers should go there, or close to there, at some point. Then I want a long battle sequence at Osgiliath, including some nice military strategy detail, during which both brothers get to show their quality as fighters and cooperate throughout the battle, and which ends with an account of the bridge falling.
It will then skip over canon, filling in a couple of missing scenes here and there. Boromir will be *sniffle* allowed to die, and Faramir should be properly miserable. Finally, it will end up slashing Faramir with Aragorn, taking off from the Houses of the Healing scene and rescuing Aragorn from the horrible fate of kingly unsexiness.
After the coronation, a discontent Aragorn, locked indoors, forced to wear velvet, and tormented by courtiers and state dinners, will spend his free time staring longingly at Faramir. Faramir, of course, will have a massive crush on Aragorn from the get-go. After a mercifully brief amount of this stuff, some lurking evil will reappear and need to be exterminated. The fic will then find some brilliant way for this to justify Aragorn dumping everything and taking off with Faramir to wander Middle-Earth dealing with this problem, despite the fact that both of them should never be gone from Minas Tirith at the same time, or wander into danger with hardly any escort, etc., etc. It will also have to come up with some clever way for Aragorn and Faramir to have lots of wild sex without doing violence to Arwen and Eowyn.
So anyway, Aragorn and Faramir get to be all Ranger-ish and hunt down Great Evil together and have hot sex. They should underestimate each other's woodcraft. Should include a subplot where Faramir tangles with Aragorn's palantir in some way. I don't think Faramir trusts the things, even in the hands of Isildur's heir, and it would be interesting to see what one would do to Faramir and if he could control it. But he would not be tempted by it so you'd have to throw it at him somehow, or make it look like it's about to do something bad to Aragorn. (Yes, palantiri intrigue me.) Should end with the at least apparent defeat of the Lurking Evil, and with some kind of arrangement where Aragorn and Faramir can have encounters here and there more or less indefinitely.
Um. Well, you did say imaginary, right?
2. If you could permanently do away with one activity in your life, what would it be?
Cleaning bathrooms and windows. This was an interesting question to think about. Many household chores that annoy me also please me at times. There is a quiet Zen in folding laundry, or splashing about in a sinkful of warm soapy water making dishes get clean, or in mending things that are broken. I actually got kind of teary-eyed at the thought of never washing a dish or folding a sweater again. (This does not change the fact that undone dishes are stacked on my counter and a basket of unfolded laundry is sitting on my bed as I write this.) However, if I never cleaned another bathroom or window, I am fairly confident that the world would be no poorer.
3. What are four things you wouldn't want to live without?
1. My husband and family.
2. Books.
3. Our sailboat.
4. The Internet. (Sad, but true.)
How trite is that list? :)
4. When's the last time you sang to someone? What did you sing?
My sister and I sang "You Are My Sunshine" (a song I cordially despise) to my sister's baby while in the car about two weeks ago. For some strange reason singing this song stops the crying instantly, though it only stays stopped as long as you're actually singing. So we sang for like ten minutes straight. My sister's husband actually downloaded all the verses off the net to keep them from having to repeat the same four lines over and over, which were all they knew when they first discovered this trick.
5. Describe your favorite place to write.
I like to write at the university's student union at the table in the corner that has an outlet, so I don't have to worry about my laptop battery dying. My table is tucked away behind the upscale food court, so I can have lattes or pastries or even custom stir-fry if I want. It's a Georgian brick building with pretty windows and dark wood inside, and it smells invitingly like coffee. I like the chatter of voices all around me. I like the company of other work. There I can have math going on around me, or law, or art history, or any number of things that are not what I'm doing, but which I like hearing bits and pieces of. It is cozy without being small, companionable without being bothersome. I do my very best work there if it is snowing outside.
Anyone want to be interviewed or to ask me more questions?
ETA: Whee, lots of people! If you're asking me questions back, I'd love it. But just give me two or three. Five from everyone would be a lot!