(no subject)
I had this dream. It was really disturbing. Not in like a frightening way, more like in a shake your outlook on life kind of way.
I was with my aunt and we were in some building, location is really not that important. There was this new craze, and people were converting their religion to this new thing but it wasn't religion. It was a group that was just in denial of God.
Now those who know me, know I am hardly religious, but when they came to my aunt and I and tried to convert us. She turned, but I was having trouble. I mean like really struggling with the decision. They weren't overtly threatening, but there was a palpable feeling that something terrible would happen if I didn't. After all these people gave in, so did I.
That wasn't the only thing that got to me.
In order to be converted, they would lay you on a crucifix, oddly religious for anti-religion groups, then they would drive a screw driver through your hands. It was scary. But afterwords the wounds healed instantly.
I was awoken by my dad calling. Unsettling.
Also last night, I was watching this thing about Star Wars. All these psychiatrists were looking at the parallels between the movies and our society. That really got me thinking.
All republics fail, and civilizations fall apart. And I know it will happen, I mean look at were we are. Look out our country. We have a president who has gone through and broken so many rules and gone behind the peoples backs. How soon before he tries to take complete control. Actually he may be to stupid to know how to do that, but if he were smart enough...
I know this makes me sound like and idiot, and my comparison to Star Wars may discredit me, but it's my fear.
I don't want to live in this society. The government is corrupt. The presidency is a joke. And the citizens of America, well they don't give a flying fuck about anyone anymore.
It's actually making me consider going to law school just to try to create change. But the cynic in me knows that it would amount to nothing.
It scares me to think of the future. GOD.
IT FUCKING SCARES ME!
Well if it happens, I don't plan on going quietly.
When I get afraid like that, I think I would love to have someone be with me, and comfort me. Tell me I am not fucked up and pessimistic for being afraid. That I'm caring for our Republic and our Democracy. I fucking love this country, but it hasn't felt safe since... well I don't know, since I learned that people are untrustworthy.
Loss of innocence ruins everything. Men will always cause wars. Men will always destroy. Thank God I'm gay, I would hate to be some stupid over testosterone pig, with no respect for life.
Some straight men.
Wow ranting much?
Maybe I'll become a senator.
Love to my friends.