This describes me perfectly, in every way.
Your Aura Colour is Lavender.
Lavenders are the dreamers and artists. They are in-tune with alternate realities, escapists, solitary, intuitive, emotional, daydreamers. They can have difficulty connecting with reality.
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Overview
Dreamer, drifter, fantasizer - these are the words that best describe the Lavender. They first see the shifting layers of shape, form, and pattern that make up designs. The Lavenders dissolve and recombine these designs to create new structures and concepts. To see what a Lavender sees one must seek out bird shapes in the clouds and divas in the garden. With heightened abilities to see other dimensions within their mind's eye, Lavenders are open to exploring alternate realities-the realities that exist in science fiction and dreams. The challenge for Lavender is to stay in this, our reality, physically and emotionally. For them, it is much easier to live in the world of fantasy than to coexist with modern technology. Lavenders need to develop ways of using the images, ideas, and themes they experience in their dreams and fantasies to create a rich new fabric of legend, fable, and art for others.
Lavender Physical Approach to Life
Lavenders tend to be less physical than other colors. They carry with them an aura of fragility, and they cope less well with the demands of tactile reality. They may even look pale and wan. Because they prefer the activities of a sheltered environment, they are not outdoor people, preferring to be inside, away from the hot sun and the cold rain. The reality of nature is difficult for them to appreciate emotionally. Abstractly, they can see the beauty in the earth, plants, insects, and the life cycle. Realistically, they find that digging is a dirty job, plants are the source of stains and unpleasant odors on their hands, and insects are repellent. They prefer an artistic depiction of nature to the harsh reality of it.
Lavenders seem to drift through life, making plans but never bothering to figure out what it would take to make them work. They have good intentions about Redecorating the living room. But the task of driving to the store, making the color selection, and getting the paint home is so overwhelming that the Lavender may let the paint sit and never get around to putting it on the walls. By the time the Lavender is in the mood to paint, he or she will be tired of the color and will have to start the entire process over again. It is easier simply to think about Redecorating the living room.
Lavenders have little sense of the relationship between time and space. They start out for the grocery store and end up in a town thirty miles away, having forgotten why they ever left home. They make appointments they never keep, or show up for them on the wrong day. They may invite friends for dinner and then make other plans for themselves that evening. Guests arrive and find that the evening's entertainment is a do it-yourself dinner party.
Lavenders are not being rude or even thoughtless; they simply have difficulty, a kind of jet lag, adjusting to the differences between their fantasy lives and their real lives. They seem caught in a permanent dream world. To demand their attention and concentration is to ask them to pay close attention to this reality. That is not only difficult for a Lavender to do; it is also painful. They feel as if they are constantly getting jerked back into reality, the way others feel when someone keeps waking them up just as they drift off to sleep. This form of awakening is physiologically hard on the body's defense system; in a more extreme form this technique has been used to torture political prisoners. When friends and family become too insistent, demanding that Lavenders be responsible and dependable, the Lavender can become angry and agitated. They only want to escape this reality; they only want some time and solitude with their images and their dreams.
Lavender Mental Approach to Life
Lavenders have intuitive thinking skills as opposed to the logical, orderly, intellectual thinking common to the Mental Personality Spectrums colors. Lavenders make random connections among the items in the storehouse of information in their brain. This willingness to play with ideas, thought-forms, and mental pictures is the fountain of their creativity. It represents their willingness to go beyond what is accepted by society as the normal limits of creativity, opening new vistas for study and exploration.
Lavenders always begin with the premise, Why not?" Because Lavenders live in the land of dreams and fantasies, they are not limited or confined by constraints of time, space, materials, technology, or budget. To them, all things are possible. This mental process is similar to, but not the same as, that of the Violet. Violets feel that they must be able to give life to an idea, product, or concept that is useful and practical and that points to the future. Lavenders do not make such demands on themselves. To them, the fact of having the dream or fantasy is enough. The most difficult part of life for a Lavender is having to act on the ideas that proliferate in their minds. Lavenders must work diligently to capture the will-o'-the-wisp ideas, must twist and spin and translate them into this reality the way a seamstress licks a piece of thread so the strands will go through the eye of the needle.
Lavenders have a gift for mentally holding on to the whole pattern of creative thought while simultaneously moving and shifting the various pieces to test various outcomes. They are able to move their point of focus, shifting at will from the minute details to the overall picture. This is a complex gift, one that often goes unrecognized and unrewarded in a society that admires practical, pragmatic thinking.
This ability to see patterns is shared by two other Personality Spectrums colors-Magenta and Green. Magentas see patterns in three-dimensional reality; they have the ability to cut and drape a pattern on a dress form or to create an architect's scale model. Greens, on the other hand, see patterns through time; they organize information for clarity and efficiency, creating time lines, flow charts, and schedules, all without having seen the finished product.
Lavenders see a pattern through space. This means that once they have seen it in their mind's eye, they have no need to reproduce it. In fact, their greatest challenge is to keep working until what they see in their head matches what they are able to reproduce tangibly.
Most often, Lavenders are best able to use their gift through the written word. As they picture in their minds the workings of a problem, it is translated into word pictures, rich with tonal, sensory texture. They have the language of the poet combined with the passion and dedication of an artist. Anything they can conceive in their mind's eye is a possibility, even those things which we do not yet have words to describe or explain.
Lavenders are primarily visual. The pictures they see, however, are truly multisensory experiences. Therefore, while many Lavenders are gifted visual artists, that medium alone is unable to convey the other sensory dimensions of their ideas and thoughts. Lavenders turn their attention then to their writing skills, developing a broad vocabulary to describe in minute detail nuances of emotion, feeling, person, place, and experience. Through the written word they make the fanciful appear real, giving it depth, perspective, and dimension.
Lewis Carroll and C. S. Lewis were both Lavenders who gave free rein to their creative energy through their writings. Lewis Carroll created a fantasy land where Cheshire cats disappear leaving only their smiles hanging in midair, and where a little girl named Alice is invited to a tea party at which there is no tea and everyone talks nonsense. C. S. Lewis created the Narnia series of children's stories in which altered time-space relationships were explored.
Lavender Emotional Approach to Life
This personality Spectrums color is emotionally, psychically, and spiritually the least well grounded of all the colors. Lavenders seem to come into this reality cut adrift from anything that might give structure or meaning to their lives.
They have difficulty creating and maintaining a system of values and beliefs, and often adopt the guidelines of other, stronger personalities as their own.
Lavenders go through life as if they don't really belong, as if they don't fit in. They find it difficult to call any one place home. They feel out of sync and tend to shield themselves behind an opaque veil. When confronted by others who need specific information, Lavenders often retreat into a wide-eyed innocence that says, "Are you talking to me?"
Lavenders are the dreamers of the spectrum, and they indulge in all forms of self-induced altered states of awareness. They constantly daydream, sometimes drifting away in the middle of a sentence, caught up in the action they see in their minds. The words we speak can flip a switch in the Lavender's mind, releasing a flood of internal images. We on the outside are unaware of the Lavender's internal television. But, for the Lavender, what's going on inside his or her mind is so rich, external reality seems superfluous.
In addition to daydreams, they have vivid imaginations that enhance their propensity for autosuggestion (hypnosis), creative visualization, night dreams, and nightmares. Because they are so physically and emotionally sensitive, they can also experience clairaudience (the ability to perceive and understand sounds without actually hearing them), clairvoyance (the ability to perceive things that cannot be seen), and clairsentience (the ability to physically sense things that happen to another person, sometimes over a great distance). Lavenders place no restrictions on the internal mechanisms of their mind and are open to such experiences as automatic writing and other extrasensory phenomena.
Emotionally, Lavenders are not available for deep committed relationships with other people. Mates and children need to understand that Lavenders will express their love and caring in an offhand, casual way. Often they seem to their families to be uninvolved with the details of daily life. Lavenders care, but they are unable to express concern the way others want and expect them to. The mundane, humdrum activities of everyday life bore Lavenders and lead them to escape into their own heads for emotional and mental renewal. Lavenders have difficulty establishing and maintaining deep levels of human interaction. Part of a Lavender is always on hold, unavailable to other people for close, warm interaction. ultimately, to become enmeshed in the intricacies of a relationship would require that Lavenders relinquish that part of themselves that needs the freedom to explore the outer limits of their imaginations and their creativity.
In a society such as ours, which places so much emphasis on caring and nurturing, adult Lavenders have a difficult time conforming to the role of loving, caring, and nurturing mate and parent. They give all they have to give, but they are aware that they are incapable of giving as much or as easily as other personality Spectrums colors. In their imaginations, they can see what they should do, but in reality they are unable to live it. This gives them a feeling of guilt tinged with a sense of inadequacy. Lavenders who have been unable to balance their inherent nature with their sense of guilt often withdraw emotionally and physically.
Lavender children who have the same problem escape into self-generated fantasy lands, creating imaginary friends and playmates for comfort and companionship. The positive gift these children have is a lively, quick imagination capable of opening horizons of creative play for others.
Lavenders are born with an active imagination and with the ability to create new and different realities; if not always practical, they are always interesting, providing food for thought for others.
Lavender Spiritual Approach to Life
A Lavender's concept of spirituality is a cross between the mystical, magical fantasy of the Arthurian tales and the utopian futuristic societies of science-fiction stories. Lavenders do not hold themselves hostage to any one set of spiritual beliefs. They freely investigate any notion or concept that captures their interest.
God, to a Lavenders, is a good idea, one which, in theory, they are willing to investigate. Yet anything that confines or circumscribes the parameters of a Lavender's reality-the rigid concept of God in the Judeo-Christian ethic, for example-they ignore or hold in disdain. Any system of belief based on rules, regulations, or a code of behaviors is anathema to Lavenders. Conversely, free-thought movements that espouse individual, personal freedom appeal to these people. They want the opportunity to find the Higher Being in their own way and in their own time.
For Lavenders, a place of worship that is artistically beautiful is a source of spiritual inspiration and insight. Music, stained-glass windows, hells, incense, vestments, and candles all become the auditory, visual, and kinesthetic cues that give Lavenders permission to "go away," to freely enter the dream state they prefer to reality. in this state, the reality of worship and the tapestry of their inner mind overlap, creating a religious or spiritual experience that is rich in texture, color, harmony, and imagery. The visions may be awesome, but they are not necessarily mystical experiences in the traditional sense because Lavenders do not willingly give anyone, even God, power over them.
Lavenders best understand the world of magic and Merlins, where strict cause-and-effect relationships undergo alchemical changes, altering everything else in the process. This is not to say that Lavenders delve into magic or witchcraft only that they understand intuitively the primary forces in those practices. They are not disciplined enough to be mystics or medicine men and women. They are the free spirits who come, sample, and take what they need from each system. The concept of God is hazy and ill defined for most Lavenders, although they have had powerful experiences that they might see as being "near God." Never knowing where their imagination will take them next, they are reluctant to say they have found the definite answer, the God of all.
In an attempt to find spiritual groups with whom they can identify, Lavenders try everything. They meditate in ashrams, chant bhajans, and eat macrobiotic food. They spend a great deal of time and energy looking for groups or ideologies that support and encourage their natural, intuitive process. Unfortunately, each system has an underlying structure of beliefs or dogma to which Lavenders are unwilling and unable to conform.
Lavender Leadership
Lavenders are not leaders. It takes all they have to keep themselves on the right course in life; taking on the responsibility of showing others what to do is beyond them. They have neither the physical nor the emotional resources to be responsible to or for anyone else. However, this loner mentality ideally suits the Lavender's purpose in life-which is to visit other realities, observing and reporting what they see, hear, and experience. If Lavenders tried to fit into the traditional model for success of modern society, their attempts to conform would stifle their ability to move, mentally, into other realms of thought.
Their very need to be alone is the source of the Lavenders' power. To have the courage to be different, to be unwilling and unable to conform, is the strength of a Lavender. Because they have often been misunderstood and criticized, they know that the greatest challenge for them is to stay in this reality when their presence is required here. For them, escape from the physical body and material world is easy; staying here is difficult and often physically painful. The goal for them is to return to this reality and report what they have experienced and seen in their mind's eye.
Lavender Finances
Lavenders are like children when it comes to money. They have little or no concept of money as an idea, a medium of exchange, or a yardstick for measuring success. When they have it, they spend it. When they don't, they don't. For a Lavender, money is like a game. At the end of the game, the one with the most money wins. However, Lavenders frequently get bored and mentally drift away from the game before the outcome has been determined, leaving the other players with a hollow victory. Lavenders do not quit; they simply leave.
Lavender Careers
Lavenders do best in situations where they can provide for themselves with a minimum expenditure of time and thought. Teaching, preferably at the university level where fewer emotional demands are made, will suit many Lavenders. Others will choose painting, writing, or some other creative pursuit that can provide them with a skeletal structure, giving them someplace to check in but leaving them with large blocks of time alone for the thinking and daydreaming that will allow them to create. Deadlines and responsibilities to editors or students can provide the Lavender with a reasonable impetus for finishing his or her work.
Lavenders do well in the performing arts, because this field provides them with a way to visit other realities naturally and authentically. When Lavenders are acting, they are living the part, becoming, in the flesh, that character. As dancers, they become the music. As mimes, they actually create a reality that the audience must otherwise imagine. Lavenders also do well behind the scenes in the theatrical world because there, too, they can live out their fantasies. Lavenders make good costume designers, set designers, and stage managers. The theater is an ideal field for Lavenders.
Lavenders do well as therapists in treatment centers where creativity and experimentation are encouraged. They make good art therapists and work well with people who have experienced some sort of paranormal phenomenon, especially in the context of spiritual growth and development. Clinical situations, however, are too rigid and stifling for the gentle laissez-faire style of a Lavender.
Lavender Social Interactions
Socially, Lavenders tend to be loners, afraid that others will not understand their way of living. They live in their heads and seldom express what goes on in their minds for fear of being ridiculed, criticized, or ostracized. Therefore, Lavenders often develop compensating behaviors designed to make others think they are conforming to social norms when, actually, they are only concerned with creating an acceptable and unremarkable appearance that will protect their autonomy. For example, many Lavenders know how to appear to be paying attention when, in fact, their minds are a million miles away.
Lavenders are not caught up in a struggle with the ego, as Violets are. They do not value those things most of us feel are important or necessary in life. They want recognition for the artistic merit of their work. They are disciplined in the pursuit of their ideas, but they do not act just to make a social statement. They create because an idea has formed in their heads.
Lavenders have loose ties with their families and a few close friends. Of all the Personality Spectrums colors, Lavenders have the least need for the physical and emotional nurturing provided by these relationships. Instead, they prefer solitude with time for daydreaming. Lavenders become actively involved with their mental lives; their creations-whether paintings, writings, or some other form of artistic expression have a life of their own. These creations become a Lavender's children, friends, and family.
Sexual expression is one area in which Lavenders can act out in this world what they see in fantasy. They are among the most sexually creative, the most willing to experiment, of all the Personality Spectrums colors. However, Lavenders do place limits on sexual exploration beyond which they will not travel. These limitations are based on their need for emotional and psychic safety. Their taboos and restrictions are self-imposed psychological and physical safety nets that don't necessarily conform to the taboos of a sexually inhibited society.
In a relationship where they feel emotionally and physically secure, Lavenders are creative, inventive, daring, and experimental, willing to be engaged physically so that their minds are free to roam the astral airwaves. It is as if Lavenders slip out of this reality while making love, knowing that their partner and their own bodies will remind them to come back.