xliix - [Audio] except no, not really Arthas, you're doing it wrong

[darknessb4me]

People always give terrible reasons for hating floods. "They were embarrassing." "I was a girl." "I wish people hadn't known that about me." Life happens. The only things floods can do that it isn't possible to have happened to you anyway is change you. Overnight, you become a completely different person. You want different things. Maybe you have a

Comments

[sixthanimorph]

You're right. About everything.

... Is it even possible to keep all the floods from changing you? I swore when I found out what this place was all about I wasn't gonna change, I was gonna be my own person no matter what these fuckers did.

[Private]
... but ever since that bizarro flood, nothing's been the same. And... I think that's why. I think that one got to me somehow.

[darknessb4me]

They mean well. If you get a real warden, they do it because they want to save you from the dark.

They shouldn't.

[Private]

The only way is to not be here. Stay in a port. Go off the side. Die. There's always a way out if you're brave enough.

[sixthanimorph]

What do you mean, 'the dark'?

Are you talking about oblivion?

[Private]

But what if we're not ready to die? I mean, hell, I'm only sixteen! I've got a lot more life to live! I don't want it to end like this.

[darknessb4me]

Close enough.

[Private]

Then stay. The Barge is the only thing keeping you alive. That's the choice you have to make. I didn't say it was easy.

Private

[emptyyourself]

This place is a second chance. Take it or leave it. Eventually, you'll either rehabilitate or disappear. You had a choice then, you have one now.

Come to my room this afternoon; I'll begin teaching you as I promised.

Private

[darknessb4me]

I've been trying to leave it for six months!

[There's a nasty-sounding crack; he's punched the stone wall hard enough to fracture something in his hand.]

Fine. Good. I'll be there. This post isn't going to make a difference. Nothing ever does.

Private

[emptyyourself]

Take or leave the chance. You'll stagnate here for a good long while, Arthas, but eventually you'll vanish into nothingness. Or hell. Or whatever it is that awaits you.

I hope that isn't the choice you make. I don't resent my time here; only how I was treated.

And this post does matter. The responses you receive might make a difference.

[buywithme]

There was a sequence of events which got you to the point you were at when you arrived on the Barge, once you are on the Barge, there is an additional sequence of events trying to get you away from that point. I don't think it's about going back and undoing the person who you were, it's about going forward from being that person.

If those floods you're talking about twist inmates up, they must twist wardens up as well. We all get little pieces of them left in us as well. I don't think that is exclusively about the inmates.

[darknessb4me]

But it's your choice to stay and endure them.

[buywithme]

I know. It doesn't exactly get easier though. The sequence of events which we underwent as inmates had the eventual consequence of us being the kind of people who would make the choice to stay despite that.

Or maybe it doesn't bother some people, or maybe some people's deals are important enough that it's worth it.

I don't know why those things happen, Comrade. But they're a consequence of being in this place. If the wardens all decided that they were evil, and that they should vote against them by just leaving, then how could they ever know if it changed anything? The chances are, you'd just end up with a new lot of wardens, or a boat full of inmates and nothing else. Still changing every few weeks, still without any control over your lives.

[darknessb4me]

I could control it. I could control myself, and to hell with the rest of you.

[shortsghtedlove]

[This... is pretty much how he thinks about the matter. But then again, if Arthas thinks this, perhaps he was wrong after all?]

The people of your world are incapable of differentiating, aren't they? Not every graduation ends with a completely different person. Sometimes it's just healing. [Course, so not the case for him.]

[darknessb4me]

Condescend to me again and I'll tear you in half. You're nothing here. I don't think you understand that. You are nothing

That's very nice. You go do that.

[shortsghtedlove]

[Try it, Arthas :| He's just waiting to get the chance to kill someone. It's very stress relieving.]

I never said it applies to me. But I know people where it is the case and I shall not watch you talk about them like that.

[darknessb4me]

Because clearly this is all about you and your partner. Yes, you're both the only exceptions to this because you're so fucking special. Happy now?

[im_spiderman]

No one makes choices in a void. There's always people who shape ye in life, whether it's yer kin, yer friends, yer teachers... Aye, ye've responsibility for who ye are, but that doesn't mean ye're bound ta stay the same... or ta change because yer warden wills it of ye.

It's not about what we want.

[Private] Derail the conversation LIKE A BOSS

[darknessb4me]

Mu- ... Yorg. Arkady's agreed to help with your memory if you consent to it.

[Private] If you ignore it, it didn't happen

[im_spiderman]

What d'ye mean by that?

[Private] DAMN RIGHT also he's not sure how to talk to muradin when he's like this :|a

[darknessb4me]

She's a psychic. Seems mostly benign.