[FIC] Dull Part 5/5
TITLE: Dull
GENRE: Angst
PAIRING: Junsuxeveryone, OT5-ish
RATING: PG
WARNINGS: Character death
Parts 1-4 here:
http://community.livejournal.com/hug______/886325.html
Part 5:
Junsu watches them from afar, hating that he can only do just that and nothing more. He's lost it all; can't touch them, can't soothe them, can't lend a comfortingly familiar presence.
He can't even help to bind them...
...But he can watch them and that is toruture in itself.
Day by day he sees Yoochun close himself to love, to music, and to others.
He sees Jaejoong rejecting cold reality.
Sees Changmin chasing phantoms and fantasy and Yunho unable to summon strength and lead.
Junsu watches, a helpless spectator in what should be his life. But he is gone, far removed and trapped behind a shady wall that prevents him from simply walking out to make things better.
He tries to leave it all to hope, a weil of thin appeasements to quench the burning thoughts of his frustrations, but the effort is wasted.
He knows, even dwells on, what touch would summon Yunho's loving smile, what spark of laughter would inspire Yoochun to mold his voice, knows the nook under Changmin's chin to curl up under to calm the youngest's soul, and the secret kiss to share with Jaejoong in the dark to make him forget the nightmares.
He knows what game to play to help them all laugh away the pain.
And though he knows this, he is denied the action.
Instead, he is witness to their struggles as they stand apart, unable to find the thread that binds them.
But bound to them as he is, Junsu weeps, trying to reach but is never quite close enough to make it. Worse still, he can feel them reaching for him, fractions too far away.
It breaks his heart just as it breaks theirs.
Junsu's days are dull monochrome; a muted silhouette of the life he left behind. He misses the colors of his world; raven locks, and hair dye; pinkened lips and flushed cheeks.
He's lost it all.
No voice for them to hear him sing with; no ears with which he could hear them.
Nothing to carry his taste, nor a tongue with which to taste them.
No scent to trail behind him; no lungs which could inhale theirs.
Nothing to reach out and touch them, nor a body for them to touch.
And last of all, his sight is dull, the colors drained away and the curse of seeing them without them seeing him.
He's hit the epitome of the difference between a presence and an absence.
Five minus one equals the falsity of heaven and the perpetuance of Hell on all parts.
There is truth in this fangirl philosophy and Junsu sees it all:
The world has become dull, and knowing this, Junsu weeps.
~*~
A light rain begins to fall over Seoul as the broken remains of Dong Bang Shin Ki convene for dinner. They all stop, mid-bite, as droplets play a light pitter-patter on the window pane. Sorrow strikes them all and they cast their eyes down, pained.
Changmin is the breaks the silence first.
"Hyung-deul... I think he's crying for us..."
Nobody raises a word against this, perhaps because of hope, but more likely because they can feel it. For the first time in what seems like an eternity or more, all five of them are joined, bound in tears. A scraping of chairs and they are wrapped around each other, as is only right, reciting promises, apologies, and comfort in silent tears.
"He always knew how to hold us together," Yunho mumbles into the tangle wistfully, watching the rain clear up and cease.
"I wish he were here," Yoochun bursts out with a sob.
"You think he left us?" Jaejoong amends softly, watching the clouds dissolve into a blue as brilliant as him.
Somewhere, in the next life where he waits and watches, Junsu's lips curl into a melancholy smile, shaking his head in approval.
No, he never left them at all.
~FIN~
( ')<*chu*>(' )
Yah! I'm sorry the ending reeked of cliches!!! I had to tie all the pieces together and I just could leave our Dong Bang boys completely sad...
Also, I know that the ending of Su's section was a little odd and kinda fell apart.... Gah....
Well, comments would be very very much appreciated even though i completely fail at responding to them. I also completely fail at lj, it confuses the hell out of me, so if anything is funky with this entry, sorry.
COMMENTS ARE LOVE
.
GENRE: Angst
PAIRING: Junsuxeveryone, OT5-ish
RATING: PG
WARNINGS: Character death
Parts 1-4 here:
http://community.livejournal.com/hug______/886325.html
Part 5:
Junsu watches them from afar, hating that he can only do just that and nothing more. He's lost it all; can't touch them, can't soothe them, can't lend a comfortingly familiar presence.
He can't even help to bind them...
...But he can watch them and that is toruture in itself.
Day by day he sees Yoochun close himself to love, to music, and to others.
He sees Jaejoong rejecting cold reality.
Sees Changmin chasing phantoms and fantasy and Yunho unable to summon strength and lead.
Junsu watches, a helpless spectator in what should be his life. But he is gone, far removed and trapped behind a shady wall that prevents him from simply walking out to make things better.
He tries to leave it all to hope, a weil of thin appeasements to quench the burning thoughts of his frustrations, but the effort is wasted.
He knows, even dwells on, what touch would summon Yunho's loving smile, what spark of laughter would inspire Yoochun to mold his voice, knows the nook under Changmin's chin to curl up under to calm the youngest's soul, and the secret kiss to share with Jaejoong in the dark to make him forget the nightmares.
He knows what game to play to help them all laugh away the pain.
And though he knows this, he is denied the action.
Instead, he is witness to their struggles as they stand apart, unable to find the thread that binds them.
But bound to them as he is, Junsu weeps, trying to reach but is never quite close enough to make it. Worse still, he can feel them reaching for him, fractions too far away.
It breaks his heart just as it breaks theirs.
Junsu's days are dull monochrome; a muted silhouette of the life he left behind. He misses the colors of his world; raven locks, and hair dye; pinkened lips and flushed cheeks.
He's lost it all.
No voice for them to hear him sing with; no ears with which he could hear them.
Nothing to carry his taste, nor a tongue with which to taste them.
No scent to trail behind him; no lungs which could inhale theirs.
Nothing to reach out and touch them, nor a body for them to touch.
And last of all, his sight is dull, the colors drained away and the curse of seeing them without them seeing him.
He's hit the epitome of the difference between a presence and an absence.
Five minus one equals the falsity of heaven and the perpetuance of Hell on all parts.
There is truth in this fangirl philosophy and Junsu sees it all:
The world has become dull, and knowing this, Junsu weeps.
~*~
A light rain begins to fall over Seoul as the broken remains of Dong Bang Shin Ki convene for dinner. They all stop, mid-bite, as droplets play a light pitter-patter on the window pane. Sorrow strikes them all and they cast their eyes down, pained.
Changmin is the breaks the silence first.
"Hyung-deul... I think he's crying for us..."
Nobody raises a word against this, perhaps because of hope, but more likely because they can feel it. For the first time in what seems like an eternity or more, all five of them are joined, bound in tears. A scraping of chairs and they are wrapped around each other, as is only right, reciting promises, apologies, and comfort in silent tears.
"He always knew how to hold us together," Yunho mumbles into the tangle wistfully, watching the rain clear up and cease.
"I wish he were here," Yoochun bursts out with a sob.
"You think he left us?" Jaejoong amends softly, watching the clouds dissolve into a blue as brilliant as him.
Somewhere, in the next life where he waits and watches, Junsu's lips curl into a melancholy smile, shaking his head in approval.
No, he never left them at all.
~FIN~
( ')<*chu*>(' )
Yah! I'm sorry the ending reeked of cliches!!! I had to tie all the pieces together and I just could leave our Dong Bang boys completely sad...
Also, I know that the ending of Su's section was a little odd and kinda fell apart.... Gah....
Well, comments would be very very much appreciated even though i completely fail at responding to them. I also completely fail at lj, it confuses the hell out of me, so if anything is funky with this entry, sorry.
COMMENTS ARE LOVE
.