Shadows in the Mirror [2/7]| for in_vazn prompt table #3
Junsu screams like his soul is being ripped out from within and he’s falling, heart pounding in his ears, making him deaf-
You’ll want to be careful with your voice Kim-shii…
He tries so hard, too hard, to free his captive voice held somewhere in him, but all that comes is a raspy whisper of a yell, shifting octaves knifing through his every dream and it hurts more than physical, pain, hurts more than anything-
I’m sorry, Su-yah, but until you can sing again, we’re going to have to open up your spot on the lessons roster…
He thinks about the trainees he just ran from, thinks about their glee-disguised-as-pity since he’s out of the game, thinks about how they’re stealing his future and he hates them almost as much as he hates himself and he screams out his fury, images of polished dance floors and studio mirrors in his head with those pitying eyes that won’t leave him alone-
Just take it easy, ‘kay Susu? Hyung’ll be right here for you.
Junsu can’t stand them. He can’t stand that they’re all out stripping him- Yunho, Jaejoong, Hyukjae- they’re all out running him and Junsu’s dropping out of the race and he hates them for it, wishes he could trip them up so they can’t leave him behind.
So he can get what’s his.
I’m sorry I can’t talk for long, but I’m sorry Su. It’s only temporary, alright? It will get better. I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go to… you know.. lesson…
Junsu doesn’t care anymore, not about them, or god, or himself, all he wants is his voice back and he screams his desire over the roof, hearing the snide little snickers of other trainees in his head.
Chunsa, Chunsa~ poor little Junsu, lost his voice…
His dreams are so tauntingly vivid in his head and he wants to break them. He wants to have nothing to do with them or the people that are in them. He hates them. The green-eyed monster says he hates them.
Xiah…
He rocks himself to sleep on the roof, the stage name he’s known- wanted to be- all over his life a mantra in his head as tears course down his cheeks.
Comforting arms wrap around him- three pair wound around his shoulders, suffocating, hard to breathe Leave me alone!- and Junsu wakes up to the three best friends he’s ever hand, cooing to him in concern.
He sees red.
I hate you I hate you IhateyouIhateyouIhateyouI-
Tears slip down his face and he lets them wrap around him. Wishing he could take a day in their lives for Just one day.
To be the star he was born to be.
~*~
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