[Oneshot] A Risk of Flight
It was a routine for him.
In the morning, Jaejoong got up, showered, ate a cold breakfast of whatever he had leftover from the night before, and then he promptly dressed and rushed off to get on the train while the rest of the city rubbed the sleep from its eyes so he could get to work.
His boss would clock in two hours later on the dot, sipping coffee that didn’t taste like dirty water (all for the image and never the flavor; funny how it was just like life), and always, without fail, slapped new shit on Jaejoong’s cramped little desk with a shark’s grin.
Work always was a game of catch up.
Lunch often didn’t happen- there was just never time for such luxuries and that last, unwanted granola bar in the vending machine did its job fine. If by chance the day had been good, Jaejoong would stop by the market after work and dash home to make dinner. Most of the time (predictably), it wasn’t. Life was shitty, after all, and usually, Jaejoong just ended up at the first fast food joint that wouldn’t make him too sick.
By the time Jaejoong got home, all he had the energy to do was change out of his tired old suit and shower, taking a possible hour or two of mind-numbing television while he paid his many bills before going back to sleep and starting all over again.
There was a time when the monotony might have bothered him, when Jaejoong used to come home full of nothing but anger and the feeling of being in a cage too small, but it had long since passed, dreams burned to ash and blown away. The beauty of life forgotten.
Jaejoong had worked away his life until work became his life. A mundane affair that clocked out by a quarter to six. A story with no plot and a pathetic moral.
The day Jaejoong met one Kim Junsu, however, was the day that Jaejoong forgot not to remember the way he once was. Junsu was simply beautiful, so full of hope and dreams and raw potential that it overflowed in turbulent waves. So bright was the effect that Jaejoong almost believed that he would get burned if he so much as brushed against the other.
Jaejoong first met Junsu on the train ride home, taking the last seat next to him by chance. Junsu wasn’t paying him any attention, sitting practically in the lap of another man, flirting and exchanging little notes on scraps of paper with him. Jaejoong attempted to be unaffected (embittered, he told himself, but it rang too close to ‘jealous’ in his mind), but he found himself stealing glances, captivated.
Circumstances brought him no further at an uneven jerk of the train that sent Junsu spilling into his lap, eyes wide and apologetic, and Jaejoong mentally dealt a slap to his wrist for letting his breath hitch (for hoping that the man with Junsu was not his lover). The thought was gone when Junsu was yanked back into the man’s lap, giggling. It was, perhaps, mercy when two stops later, the man stood to leave and tried to tug Junsu with him.
Fate was only a little unkind, Jaejoong decided then, for the protest Junsu whispered in the man’s ear while taking his hand back. It was only slightly torturous for Junsu to calmly take back the vacated seat.
Neither kindness, however, stopped Jaejoong’s heart from skipping beats when Junsu turned to flash a smile at him eyes bright.
“Sorry, by the way, for falling all over you before.”
This time, Jaejoong looked away, he didn’t feel like having hope.
(Though he already knew- it was far too late for that.)
Jaejoong saw Junsu more often after that day, coming sometimes before and after with the same man or others (there were three of them, Jaejoong realized one day in his quiet observation, the same three time and time again, and he disliked them all the same) and Jaejoong never failed to get the seat next to them. Bright laughter and strains of song became part of Jaejoong’s routine that he couldn’t do without. A part that never became old.
Without knowing it, Jaejoong fell (just a little bit) in love.
It was about a few months after the first time they met that Junsu came in, for once, alone after Jaejoong had gotten on. It took a few seconds of staring to realize that Junsu was staring back and Jaejoong flushed a slight pink, trying to hide his face.
It was an effort in vain, of course.
Junsu strode over fearlessly and lifted Jaejoong’s chin until their eyes met, smiling that bright, bright smile at him.
“Hey, there. My name is Kim Junsu, but you probably already know that because my friends can’t shut up for their lives. I have to say, though, I would very much like to know yours, too.”
Jaejoong nearly wet himself in nervous excitement, but that was beside the point. He put up a weak front, catching Junsu’s hand in his and forgetting that he was supposed to be slapping it away, “Hey, hey… what makes you think you can just go up to me and try to pick me up like that?”
The train starts moving and Jaejoong tightens his grip automatically when Junsu stumbles, guiding him into the seat next to him. At the very least, Jaejoong thinks, he can stare without pretending he isn’t now, but it doesn’t make his case any stronger.
Junsu leans in a bit, “Well, you’ve never failed to sit next to me and my friends on this train, even when there are more seats available. You haven’t stopped stealing looks at me since day one, and,” a look of solid bemusement crossed Junsu’s boyish features, “You haven’t let go of my hand yet.”
Jaejoong blushes brighter than he ever thinks he has and he thinks idly that all the blood rushing to his face must be making his heart skip (though his heart says Junsu, Junsu with every other beat).
“S-so?”
“I thought we could be friends or something.”
The answer is simple, but all Jaejoong hears is that bright ‘or something’ and the world of possibility that follows.
Then it hits him in a powerful wave- he hasn’t felt this good in a long time.
“Jaejoong, then. My name is Kim Jaejoong.”
That day, Jaejoong learns that hope is more powerful than he ever gave it credit. That day, he learns that Junsu’s only ever wanted to sing and dance and that he pays his rent with his talents, sleazy though his settings may be at times. Jaejoong learns that Junsu’s friends have taken it upon themselves to keep the creeps off of him and that even though times have been hard, even though Junsu’s had so much reason to give up, he simply won’t.
But best of all, Jaejoong learns that he’d been hoping for sunshine of his own for his whole life and for once, for once he’s gotten just what he wanted.
Jaejoong’s quit his shitty desk job in favor of making music with a boy he met on the train by chance, a boy- man- who’s become his hope, his raison d’être.
Now, rent’s a little harder to pay and groceries don’t exactly buy themselves (not that crappy take out did either), but nights have become magic under his (their) cheap cotton sheets and Jaejoong’s found friends in the men he used to see with Junsu on the train (who aren’t half as dislikable as Jaejoong once thought). Of course, it’s not all sunshine and daisies with the bar crowd rowdy and eager for proximity, but somehow, none of that really matters.
(Jaejoong thinks- knows- he’s in love and after all of his struggles with himself, it really only took a second to take that leap of faith)
“Jaejoongieah! We’re going to be late and you know there are going to be people from the label there, c’mon!”
Eyes bright, hand extended, Jaejoong’s not about to hesitate before holding on.
He’s never felt more alive.