So.

[darkqryslynn]

I had a breakdown Wednesday. I don't think it's completely stopped. Apparently, I do this every year. Great. It's always over the same thing; I'm worthless and done nothing significant with my life and that I'll never become anything. Each time I recover by finding something new to fixate on as my career

Comments

[ehrenyu]

......When you put it like that, I sound like an asshole finding a breakdown to be 'cute'. ....... I do have to say that I've never been a great judge of how people tick and what would be healthiest for their improvement. I've noticed I can easily find what would make it 10x worse though. And I think forcing yourself to put the brakes on the cycle will you leave you unstable, unsure, and full of doubt until you can trust yourself to know what to do with yourself. I'm worried you will linger too much in this stage and fall head-over-heels into a pit of wallowing despair and inner self-rage. That's not a pretty or cute picture. No, what I found cute is that I figured you 'rebounded' well from these cycles. That you appeared to know what the hell you wanted and grabbed the bull by both horns and held on for dear life. I've always loved that aspect of you, and I guess you'll always approach things that way, including the automatic cold-turkey brake thing you're doing now

[darkqryslynn]

... I cried and laughed through the last part of your first paragraph.

Sorry for making you seem like an asshole, love.

I haven't been looking at myself too deeply for a long time. I don't like what I see. I want to be happy with myself. I want to be able to look to my past and be proud of my achomplishments.

Please don't worry so much. I'll rebound from this. I just refuse to until I make some major changes.

[darkqryslynn]

Heh. yea. I know. I rather figured that's why our attempt at a relationship was such a completely disaster.