It really is a wonderful thing. Such a rare thing, in my case. My shyness has scared off so many people, I've started initiating interactions with strangers I kinda like with a disclaimer: "I'm reticent by nature, so if I seem quiet, it typically has more to do with me than with you."
Oh fuck him. I hate it, and it's a guy thing I've noticed, when they come up to talk to you but are instantly defensive and somehow try to guilt you into validating their decision to talk to you. And sometimes this behavior turns into a much worse version of manipulation and invasion of space. "Oh, yeah, well what would a girl like you want to kiss a guy like me for..." and so on. Fuck that. I REFUSE to acknowledge that behavior. Once they do it, I call them out and tell them to go away.
I've encountered that general attitude -- that my reticence makes them uncomfortable and I need to remedy that and justify this and validate that nownownow -- from both women and men. It's just manifested differently. With men there seems to be an element of "I'm entitled to encroach upon your comfort zone and I expect you to be okay with that." If I'm not okay with that, then somehow it's my problem. No, buddy, it's your problem. I was here first, so you have to leave. Usually, when you call them on it, they leave.
I especially love it when my indifference to their PAIN and DISTRESS generates a bunch of complaints about "women being bitches" or "women being frigid". You know, because the problem stems from women, not from him.
That's a little harder for me to articulate because it varies so much. Let's just say that, while a lot of women do exhibit that obnoxious "I'm entitled to your smile" thing, it's honestly something I've noticed about almost every negative interaction I've had with men. That's a trend I notice among men
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i don't know if this kind of thing occurs in seattle (right?) or if you've ever experienced it, but in kentucky it's considered common courtesy to smile at someone when you pass them on the street. everyone. even if you pass ten people in a row, you should have a friendly smile ready for all of them.
I HATE THIS. not because i'm necessarily shy, in fact i think most people would argue vehemently against that being one of my characteristics, but "friendly" is not something i'd use to describe myself. therefore, i'm indifferent to most people i don't know. meaning, i don't like to smile at them when i pass them on the street. this somehow translates into "raging bitch." seems like people have a hard time grasping the middle ground betwen like and active dislike.
I get that, too, which is especially strange because, in Seattle (right!), people don't expect a smile out of everybody on the street. If somebody did smile at them, they'd wonder why. "Do I know that person? Maybe they think I'm cute? Why? Why? Why?"
At least, that's what I've gathered from my experiences here. Every now and then, somebody will smile at me or say hello and I'll be so startled that I'll say and do nothing. Then I'll very likely get a bunch of expletives thrown at me.
Well, thank you. It's just happened to me so many times. It's tiresome, irritating, and I just wish I could tell the world to settle the fuck down and mind their own business or at least be respectful about it when they don't.
I don't think anyone should ever have to put up with such bullshit. If I could raise an army of sparkling pink demonic schoolmarms to scold and smack each and every dickhead who thinks he deserves friendliness and easy charm from every stone-faced woman he meets, I would.
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I especially love it when my indifference to their PAIN and DISTRESS generates a bunch of complaints about "women being bitches" or "women being frigid". You know, because the problem stems from women, not from him.
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I HATE THIS. not because i'm necessarily shy, in fact i think most people would argue vehemently against that being one of my characteristics, but "friendly" is not something i'd use to describe myself. therefore, i'm indifferent to most people i don't know. meaning, i don't like to smile at them when i pass them on the street. this somehow translates into "raging bitch." seems like people have a hard time grasping the middle ground betwen like and active dislike.
same sort of thing, i guess.
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At least, that's what I've gathered from my experiences here. Every now and then, somebody will smile at me or say hello and I'll be so startled that I'll say and do nothing. Then I'll very likely get a bunch of expletives thrown at me.
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cos you are...
awesome.
i wouldnt know how to handle a situation like that.
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I don't think anyone should ever have to put up with such bullshit. If I could raise an army of sparkling pink demonic schoolmarms to scold and smack each and every dickhead who thinks he deserves friendliness and easy charm from every stone-faced woman he meets, I would.
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