If you read this, please post a completely false, untrue, made-up, and fictional memory of me and you. It can be anything y'want, pleasant or unpleasant, but it's gotta be fake.
remember when I woke up on Christmas morning all alone with a really stabbing pain in my ear and I thought my eardrum had burst so, not knowing what else to do, I called you while you were working at the county jail and made you take me to the minor emergency center in a cruiser that you sort of borrowed from your C.O.? And then when you tried to put on your sirens and accidentally jammed the car into reverse and wrecked that nice nativity scene at Gethsemane Lutheran Church and when we got out of the car to try to put the sheep back up that old couple (she had a red hat society sweartshirt on and he was wearing a cap that said "U.S.S. Nimitz") came and busted us and you pretended I was an escaped ward of the state and tackled me from behind, accidentally bashing my forehead against Jesus' creche and I had to get 4 stitches above my left ear and the doctor said the only reason I got away so lucky was that you had forced big wads of kleenex into my ear and that cushioned my fall just enough to save my eardrum
( ... )
I remember running into that old woman maybe two weeks after the incident, at one of those Daughters of Norway pancake breakfasts in the church's assembly hall. This was during my ex-girlfriend's Norweigian Pride phase, which explained my presence as the sore thumb of that particular gathering. My ex knew a lot of people there but I was mostly ignored. I'm still not sure if this was because of the creche incident, good old-fashioned homophobia, or the fact that I was wearing my "Lefse is For Lovers" t-shirt.
Anyway. I never went back to that church and I never saw that woman again. I never saw that man, either. My old C.O. always gives me a good reference, though, which I'll never understand.
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That was, however, one of the best ways to ruin a mess of frozen banana leaves.
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I remember running into that old woman maybe two weeks after the incident, at one of those Daughters of Norway pancake breakfasts in the church's assembly hall. This was during my ex-girlfriend's Norweigian Pride phase, which explained my presence as the sore thumb of that particular gathering. My ex knew a lot of people there but I was mostly ignored. I'm still not sure if this was because of the creche incident, good old-fashioned homophobia, or the fact that I was wearing my "Lefse is For Lovers" t-shirt.
Anyway. I never went back to that church and I never saw that woman again. I never saw that man, either. My old C.O. always gives me a good reference, though, which I'll never understand.
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