How bad can it get?
Written for Spike's Bad Day at nekid_spike
Title: Vampire Police
Pairing: Spangel
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
Summary: Spike gets arrested by the Vampire Police.
Speeding up his hand, Spike moaned as he jerked himself towards the blinding oblivion of orgasm.
Suddenly, the door to his apartment exploded inward and vampires, dressed in battle gear, streamed into his bedroom, interrupting what promised to be a most fulfilling climax.
“FREEZE!” one of the male vampires yelled.
Spike put his hands up in surrender quickly as they aimed their guns at him.
“Alright, pet, you caught me fair and square,” he said with a gulp. “But, I was just wanking. Not doing any-“
“Spike aka William the Bloody of the Aurelius clan,” the head vampire spoke right over his voice. “You have the right to remain silent but we do promise to eventually torture everything out of you so resistance is futile. We are the Vampire Police and we are here to escort you to the High Court for your trial. You have deliberately ignored the previous three summons-“
“You mean these?” Spike waved around three pieces of crumpled, soggy papers. “Sorry, I ran out of tissues so I had to use them to wipe up the cum from my previous wanking sessions.”
The other vampire raised one stern eyebrow. “Take him away,” he ordered his underlings as he turned to walk away.
“Wait!” Spike yelled after the head vampire. “On what bleedin’ charges?”
“Do you want me to read you the whole list?” the other vampire replied, pausing in the doorway.
Oh sod it all, Spike thought as he shook his head.
***********
“Does the defendant plead guilty or not?” the honorable Judge Henry demanded in a bored voice.
“Hell no!” Spike hollered. Slouching in his seat, he stared defiantly around the courtroom full of bat-faced vampires. What a bunch of fuddy-duddlies.
“Very well, let the trial begin. Counselor Harry?”
At the judge’s words, the prosecutor stood up and bowed. “I call my first and only witness,” he announced, shooting a smirk at Spike, “Angelus of the Aurelius Clan, GrandSire to the defendant!”
As the vultures in the courtroom watched eagerly, Spike blanched. The git was going to testify against him?
Angel strode in through the doors with a big grin on his face that grew even wider when he caught sight of Spike. He took his place at the witness stand.
Gleefully, Harry began his questioning. “Sir Angelus, is it true that your grandchilde Spike has tried to torture and kill you countless times?”
“Fuck yeah!” Angel declared smugly.
The judge glanced at Spike with disapproval. A red haze descended over the younger vampire and he clenched his fists tightly. The broody bastard was going down as soon as the trial ended.
“Allow me to introduce Exhibit A, your honor,” Harry proclaimed.
A screen suddenly started materializing near the left wall. Images flashed across its surface. Shocked, Spike realized it was a movie of his fight with Angel over the Cup.
“Hey! That’s not fair!” he blurted out in protest.
The judge banged his gavel loudly. “The defendant will remain silent,” he yelled, shooting a murderous glare at Spike.
Spike flipped him the bird and the judge got up from his chair lividly but his underlings managed to restrain him from stalking over to a smirking Spike. “Be civil, Spike, or I will hold you in contempt of this court,” he threatened before sitting down and turning back to Harry.
“Your Honor, the witness’s testimony and Exhibit A have proved my point on the defendant’s first charge. Let’s move on to the next charge,” Harry stated.
The images on the screen flickered black.
“Sir Angelus, is it true that Spike has mishandled your property without your express permission?” Harry asked.
Angel snorted. “When has he not?”
“Exhibit B,” Harry said, directing attention to the screen again.
Images of Spike gulping down Angel’s most expensive whiskey and fucking Buffy showed up.
Spike gaped. “Bloody hell! He,” he jabbed a finger at Angel, “left her!”
The judge banged on the gavel again. Spike fell into a sullen silence while darting death glares at a snickering Angel. The way things were looking, it didn’t matter what he said, one way or another, but he wasn’t going down without a fight.
Harry continued, “Is it true that Spike has committed the most injurious crimes to destroy the good names of vampires all over the world?”
“Damn straight he gives us a bad name!” Angel asserted.
Spike wanted to strangle him.
“Exhibit C,” Harry said, trying to hide a chuckle.
The screen displayed images of Spike helping Buffy and co. during his chipped days and fighting for his soul.
“He’s got a bloody soul too,” Spike sulked.
“Yeah, but I was cursed and you actively sought yours,” Angel retorted amusedly.
“Your Honor,” Harry announced smoothly, “I rest my case.”
The judge banged his gavel once. “I find the defendant guilty of all charges: disrespect, assault, and attempted murder of his elder, and slander against vampires all over the world!” he declared.
“Oi! What about my defense?” Spike protested. “Don’t I get to argue my case too?”
“Nope,” Judge Henry informed him cheerfully. “In the Vampire High Court, all defendants are guilty unless proven innocent. Since no vampires are truly innocent, all are guilty.”
Spike spluttered in outrage. “What the buggering fuck!?! I want to sue him!” He pointed angrily at Angel.
“You can’t sue your elder,” Harry said condescendingly.
Spike looked mutinous. “To hell with all this shit,” he yelled, flipping over his table and making a mad dash to the door.
The vampire police grabbed him right when he was about to push open the exit doors and hauled him back to his seat. Angel laughed so hard tears rolled down his face.
“You should at least hear your sentence before you go,” the judge stated with a smirk. “Spike aka William the Bloody of the Aurelius Clan, I hereby sentence you to servitude under your GrandSire until he deems you absolved of your crimes.”
“Like you can make me,” Spike sneered.
Judge Henry motioned to the police and they started stripping Spike of his clothes. The blonde flailed around, slugging anybody who got close but he was no match for a team of determined vampires.
When he was naked and forced to kneel before the court, Angel walked over to him. The older vampire muttered something softly under his breath so that even Spike couldn’t hear it. Spike’s half hard erection felt strange for a second and then the sensation passed away. Nodding satisfactorily, Angel turned back to the judge.
“You may take him away, Sir Angelus,” Judge Henry announced.
Hurriedly, Angel dragged a protesting Spike out of the courtroom and into the garage. Shoving the younger vampire into the Viper, he drove them away, heading back to Wolfram and Hart.
“You of all vamps should know that you can’t bloody make me do a soddin’ thing I don’t wanna do,” Spike stated rebelliously.
Angel chuckled, sounding uncomfortably like Angelus. “Oh…I think I can. Try disobeying me.”
Defiantly, Spike reached a hand down to fondle his cock. He glanced slyly at Angel but the older vampire showed no signs of stopping him. Taking a firm grip, he began stroking himself hard, noticing that it had an interesting effect on Angel’s groin as well.
Panting as he neared his long denied release, he remarked, “Gonna come all over your leather seats, Poof.”
“You can try,” Angel said, a cold smile quirking up his lips.
Spike’s body burned with anger. He’ll show the damn git. Speeding up his strokes, he felt his balls contracting and then…
“What the fuck!” he screamed as something clamped down around the base of his cock, holding off his climax.
“It’s an invisible, magical cock ring and it can only be deactivated by me,” Angel stated smugly.
Stunned into silence, Spike tried not to panic as he racked his brain for ideas. There simply had to be a way out of this.
Soon, the car screeched to a stop at its parking space in Wolfram and Hart’s garage.
“Where’s me bloody clothes?” Spike demanded, as he got out of the car, still naked.
Angel opened the trunk and rummaged around for something. Spike breathed a sigh of relief. He thought Angel was going to be sadistic enough to…
“You’ll wear this and this only,” Angel said maliciously as he tossed something over to Spike.
The blonde stared at the object in dismay. It was a leather collar with letters written in glittering dark red rubies. The letters read: Angel’s whore. Uh-oh.
As he looked up at Angel’s leering face, he realized that it was going to be a really bad eternity.
Title: Vampire Police
Pairing: Spangel
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
Summary: Spike gets arrested by the Vampire Police.
Speeding up his hand, Spike moaned as he jerked himself towards the blinding oblivion of orgasm.
Suddenly, the door to his apartment exploded inward and vampires, dressed in battle gear, streamed into his bedroom, interrupting what promised to be a most fulfilling climax.
“FREEZE!” one of the male vampires yelled.
Spike put his hands up in surrender quickly as they aimed their guns at him.
“Alright, pet, you caught me fair and square,” he said with a gulp. “But, I was just wanking. Not doing any-“
“Spike aka William the Bloody of the Aurelius clan,” the head vampire spoke right over his voice. “You have the right to remain silent but we do promise to eventually torture everything out of you so resistance is futile. We are the Vampire Police and we are here to escort you to the High Court for your trial. You have deliberately ignored the previous three summons-“
“You mean these?” Spike waved around three pieces of crumpled, soggy papers. “Sorry, I ran out of tissues so I had to use them to wipe up the cum from my previous wanking sessions.”
The other vampire raised one stern eyebrow. “Take him away,” he ordered his underlings as he turned to walk away.
“Wait!” Spike yelled after the head vampire. “On what bleedin’ charges?”
“Do you want me to read you the whole list?” the other vampire replied, pausing in the doorway.
Oh sod it all, Spike thought as he shook his head.
***********
“Does the defendant plead guilty or not?” the honorable Judge Henry demanded in a bored voice.
“Hell no!” Spike hollered. Slouching in his seat, he stared defiantly around the courtroom full of bat-faced vampires. What a bunch of fuddy-duddlies.
“Very well, let the trial begin. Counselor Harry?”
At the judge’s words, the prosecutor stood up and bowed. “I call my first and only witness,” he announced, shooting a smirk at Spike, “Angelus of the Aurelius Clan, GrandSire to the defendant!”
As the vultures in the courtroom watched eagerly, Spike blanched. The git was going to testify against him?
Angel strode in through the doors with a big grin on his face that grew even wider when he caught sight of Spike. He took his place at the witness stand.
Gleefully, Harry began his questioning. “Sir Angelus, is it true that your grandchilde Spike has tried to torture and kill you countless times?”
“Fuck yeah!” Angel declared smugly.
The judge glanced at Spike with disapproval. A red haze descended over the younger vampire and he clenched his fists tightly. The broody bastard was going down as soon as the trial ended.
“Allow me to introduce Exhibit A, your honor,” Harry proclaimed.
A screen suddenly started materializing near the left wall. Images flashed across its surface. Shocked, Spike realized it was a movie of his fight with Angel over the Cup.
“Hey! That’s not fair!” he blurted out in protest.
The judge banged his gavel loudly. “The defendant will remain silent,” he yelled, shooting a murderous glare at Spike.
Spike flipped him the bird and the judge got up from his chair lividly but his underlings managed to restrain him from stalking over to a smirking Spike. “Be civil, Spike, or I will hold you in contempt of this court,” he threatened before sitting down and turning back to Harry.
“Your Honor, the witness’s testimony and Exhibit A have proved my point on the defendant’s first charge. Let’s move on to the next charge,” Harry stated.
The images on the screen flickered black.
“Sir Angelus, is it true that Spike has mishandled your property without your express permission?” Harry asked.
Angel snorted. “When has he not?”
“Exhibit B,” Harry said, directing attention to the screen again.
Images of Spike gulping down Angel’s most expensive whiskey and fucking Buffy showed up.
Spike gaped. “Bloody hell! He,” he jabbed a finger at Angel, “left her!”
The judge banged on the gavel again. Spike fell into a sullen silence while darting death glares at a snickering Angel. The way things were looking, it didn’t matter what he said, one way or another, but he wasn’t going down without a fight.
Harry continued, “Is it true that Spike has committed the most injurious crimes to destroy the good names of vampires all over the world?”
“Damn straight he gives us a bad name!” Angel asserted.
Spike wanted to strangle him.
“Exhibit C,” Harry said, trying to hide a chuckle.
The screen displayed images of Spike helping Buffy and co. during his chipped days and fighting for his soul.
“He’s got a bloody soul too,” Spike sulked.
“Yeah, but I was cursed and you actively sought yours,” Angel retorted amusedly.
“Your Honor,” Harry announced smoothly, “I rest my case.”
The judge banged his gavel once. “I find the defendant guilty of all charges: disrespect, assault, and attempted murder of his elder, and slander against vampires all over the world!” he declared.
“Oi! What about my defense?” Spike protested. “Don’t I get to argue my case too?”
“Nope,” Judge Henry informed him cheerfully. “In the Vampire High Court, all defendants are guilty unless proven innocent. Since no vampires are truly innocent, all are guilty.”
Spike spluttered in outrage. “What the buggering fuck!?! I want to sue him!” He pointed angrily at Angel.
“You can’t sue your elder,” Harry said condescendingly.
Spike looked mutinous. “To hell with all this shit,” he yelled, flipping over his table and making a mad dash to the door.
The vampire police grabbed him right when he was about to push open the exit doors and hauled him back to his seat. Angel laughed so hard tears rolled down his face.
“You should at least hear your sentence before you go,” the judge stated with a smirk. “Spike aka William the Bloody of the Aurelius Clan, I hereby sentence you to servitude under your GrandSire until he deems you absolved of your crimes.”
“Like you can make me,” Spike sneered.
Judge Henry motioned to the police and they started stripping Spike of his clothes. The blonde flailed around, slugging anybody who got close but he was no match for a team of determined vampires.
When he was naked and forced to kneel before the court, Angel walked over to him. The older vampire muttered something softly under his breath so that even Spike couldn’t hear it. Spike’s half hard erection felt strange for a second and then the sensation passed away. Nodding satisfactorily, Angel turned back to the judge.
“You may take him away, Sir Angelus,” Judge Henry announced.
Hurriedly, Angel dragged a protesting Spike out of the courtroom and into the garage. Shoving the younger vampire into the Viper, he drove them away, heading back to Wolfram and Hart.
“You of all vamps should know that you can’t bloody make me do a soddin’ thing I don’t wanna do,” Spike stated rebelliously.
Angel chuckled, sounding uncomfortably like Angelus. “Oh…I think I can. Try disobeying me.”
Defiantly, Spike reached a hand down to fondle his cock. He glanced slyly at Angel but the older vampire showed no signs of stopping him. Taking a firm grip, he began stroking himself hard, noticing that it had an interesting effect on Angel’s groin as well.
Panting as he neared his long denied release, he remarked, “Gonna come all over your leather seats, Poof.”
“You can try,” Angel said, a cold smile quirking up his lips.
Spike’s body burned with anger. He’ll show the damn git. Speeding up his strokes, he felt his balls contracting and then…
“What the fuck!” he screamed as something clamped down around the base of his cock, holding off his climax.
“It’s an invisible, magical cock ring and it can only be deactivated by me,” Angel stated smugly.
Stunned into silence, Spike tried not to panic as he racked his brain for ideas. There simply had to be a way out of this.
Soon, the car screeched to a stop at its parking space in Wolfram and Hart’s garage.
“Where’s me bloody clothes?” Spike demanded, as he got out of the car, still naked.
Angel opened the trunk and rummaged around for something. Spike breathed a sigh of relief. He thought Angel was going to be sadistic enough to…
“You’ll wear this and this only,” Angel said maliciously as he tossed something over to Spike.
The blonde stared at the object in dismay. It was a leather collar with letters written in glittering dark red rubies. The letters read: Angel’s whore. Uh-oh.
As he looked up at Angel’s leering face, he realized that it was going to be a really bad eternity.