Question..

[darkspider]

... does anyone know any good advice on how to develope trust between yourself and your partner of over 2 years of whom you have 2 kids with and have never wavered or wondered in the entire time or given them reason to not trust you despite the fact that women do flirt with you and you do have an approacable personality!?!?!

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Comments

[ribenademon]

Cut your penis off.

Alternatively be in constant radio contact.

Or wear a chastity belt.

Drug her.

Talk to her and reason with her.

Was in a similar situation (minus the kids) a few years ago, unfortunately some girls are just mental, if you have done nothing to make her doubt you all I can say is just constant reassurance and honesty when she raises the issue with you. Do not allow yourself to be seen to be encouraging any flirting no matter what.

[darkspider]

Thanks Mart! :)

..... even with no encouraging... she still goes Enviro-MENTAL! on me... :|

she claims its her issue of not feeling attractive.. what ever the hell that means!

[brittanygrace]

I wish I could tell you a sure fire way to make it better, but I can't. If you haven't given her a reason to mistrust you then the lack of trust is her issue. I'd say a lack of confidence in herself if I had to guess.

Unfortunatly you can't MAKE her trust you. She has to be the one to make the decision on whether to trust you or not. Its an unfortunate situation when you haven't done anything to deserve it. I wish you the best and hope for your sake that she comes to her senses and sees what she has in front of her. Good luck.

[darkspider]

ahh well... worse comes to worse i'll draw the line and say look.... if you cant trust me we certainly cant get married nore continue our relationship... you either trust me... or we raise our kids and not pretend to have a relationship! :)

is that the right thing to do though?

[brittanygrace]

I'm a big believer in if you don't have trust in your partner you shouldn't be with them. So I'm going to answer yes, that'd probably be the right thing. Of course it really comes down to what is going to make you happy. You certainly can't have a healthy relationship if she second guesses everything you do. You're right. pretending for your kids isn't a good justification, because no matter how hard you try they WILL see past the facade and they will know that mommy and daddy are not happy. I know that growing up I wouldn't have wanted my parents to be together. It was better they be seperate and be happy than be together and be miserable.

It sounds like you're doing the right thing to me. You're looking at it from the bigger picture and trying to see what would be best for everyone. Its never easy letting go of someone you love and it takes courage to do. Bravo to you for trying to get things right. I'm proud of you!

[darkspider]

.. yeh but i been patient 3 years now and 2 kids a dog and a cat i never wanted later.... and shes still not trusting me. :|

she claims its not me she doesnt trust its "THEM!" whoever the hell "Them" is!!!