I dread this day that is soon to come...
Ok the truth is i don't truly hate cause again I am not just one feeling remember...
Band was ok today...Rowser is getting more and more pissy as festival gets closer. I hope that once its over the drama with end. Maybe that is what is getting to us...the stress.
I dont' wonna lose my friends...especially ones that i have known for years but now a days I just feel like giving up and not deal with anyone anymore. Especially when its like middle school/9th grade shit drama.... Why can't we all just be happy for one another? yes happiness comes with pain but at the end there is always more happiness and again pain...ITS THE FUCKING CYCLE OF LIFE!!!
Some people know already of the drama i speak of but most don't...I just want help on what I am suppost to do and so far all I have gotten is stay out of it. How can I when I am brought back into it and I am in to deep? I love helping my friends but when its something that cannot be helped i just don't wish to bother. To me right now the person I am having a little issue with only wants to hear what that person wants to hear. I cried last night believing that no one wants to hear or care for my opinion and I still beleive it. I know many do say the wonna hear it but those many don't really listen neways.
I love my friends, I wonna protect them but I cannot shelter them. Gotta live life and sometimes learn things the hard way. I am very appreciative that i have my friends, especially Danielle who has always always been there for me since like the dawn of time...lol. Yes I cried last night and the only person who called me back was her...I dont' like crying and friends shouldn't make others cry!!! Yet this is what i realize when I think of the scenario of the drama...but its soo unfair to the ones who don't know its happening and dont' understand why her friends don't talk to her. Not letting her do what she wants hurts...knowing ur gonna be disowned hurts...basically FRIENDS HURT!! yet we still love friends...
If i have to give up some friends for others...i must as Danielle told me but i REEEEAAALLLY don't want to....its hurts just thinking about it. I dont' know if I am making a bigger deal than it is but that is the way I work. I am very scared right now...what is gonna happen? What ever happens happens right?
No matter how much fun I have had today...the pain still returned.......
~WT - talking about ghosts with Kayla
~Prof Foods - my goofy classmates/ friends Rachel and Kristin
- being dismissed early and had 5th lunch with the craziest, horniest kid Brice, Katies (Salisbury, patrick, percussion one...), Dustin (percussion), and Deidrich...(found out me and Deidrich both cried over the weekend)