Sorry.. Must vent... Not that many read,,.
There are still a few great friend here...
I only know -I- am not the liar here.
I just couldn't stay full time in a place where my words were doubted and my diary was used as a weapon to stab me deeper.... As if living certain things wasn't bad enough, being DOUBTED drove the knife in. I'm too good a person for such nonsense. I took my toys and my love and went elsewhere.
Okay, Updates:
Mum will be in chemo til Spring, but I got her subscriptions to National Geographic, Smithsonian, Scientific America, EW, and two specialty ones that focus on the 20s through 80s but focus on the baby boomer years, 40s through 60s with old ads and articles and so she has a new magazine almost every session and they keep her mind busy and cheerful.
She got a beautiful wig that she loves and feels more human when going out. That made me really happy to hear last week.
She has bad days in bed but thanks to her friends, Robert, Miles and my nightly calls, my womb of promise and my wonderful brother Jim taking care of things for her when she's too ill to get up, she find the energy to keep fighting somehow.
Jim has stepped up and been the Hero here. He was gone being a husband, in another country, being a filmmaker, living 1000 Miles away when crisis hit the family before and I kind of was left holding it together with string and second hand scotch tape before. But now that I'm far away and did the first round of Cancer with her at 20-21, he is allowing me to do what I can mostly from afar as I start my family and have my turn at the wheel of marriage and mortgage and motherhood oh my.
We realize that it may soon be just us..... And so united we stand. Even when frustrated, Him and I have always stuck together, shared fears, secrets, and for what it's worth... Even if she loses this horrible fight, she had said she knows that we will look after each other.... Even if one is physically, the other emotionally and then we switch again. She said with Jim back she could pass tomorrow knowing we have one another....
She really is one of the sweetest and most loving people.... I can't believe I had to make everything a fight... A Rebellion, in my teens. It seems so silly now. I would give almost everything for more time with her. The more she shares, the more colourful and deeper a picture I get into how cool and brave she is...
I see my spinal specialist Xmad eve, Get more news about how much more i must do to get baby ready.
Speaking of babies, Miles turned 4 a few weeks ago. Three plus years since we rescued him and I finally got 75% of his shots to get him certified. By the time mum isn't tethered to a chemotherapy chair, be should be ready to fly the friendly skies!!!
Happy Holidays (Yes, the Tiffany's style art deco lamp Ro got fit me is our "tree". DEAL!!! lol)