An Unbearable Fact: 1/??

Oct 04, 2013 22:59


Title: An Unbearable Fact
Chapters: 1/??
Author: darkwonderland3
Genre: AU, Romance, Psychological, Angst
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Language, sexual scenes, mental diseases, violence, charachter death, suicide attempts, rape.
Pairings/Characters: Kouyou/Yuu, Akira/Yutaka
Synospis: When you lose the only person who loves you from the deepest of her heart, can you go on living? Do you manage to smile again? Can you fight against those demons who break you ?


Nine years later.

The sun was rising slowly, staining the sky as dark as ink with lighter parts. Inside houses, everybody began to get up, even in this street. A neighbour was kissing his wife before spending his whole day sitting behind his broad desk, a young girl was getting ready for school, while a baby was waking up in tears because he was hungry. Everyone was waking up, except in this house. In his bedroom, a teenager hadn't slept at all during the night. He was afraid to close his eyes and that everything would start again. He was lying on his bed, his gaze fixed on the outside, and his blankets were hiding him to the neck. He had remained like that, without thinking, waiting the daybreak. After several long minutes, the young boy heard footsteps coming closer to his room, and his body began immediately to shiver. The door opened itself, silently, allowing the father of the child to walk inside. The latter pretended to sleep when the adult came closer and closer to his bed, until he sat on the edge. The father stroked his son's raven hair scattered with white extensions before whispering in his ear.

"Get up. You'll be late for school otherwise."

A kiss on his cheek and he left the room. The boy waited a few moments before getting slowly up. Then taking some clothes, made up with a black pullover, pants just as black, and underwears, he went to the bathroom without forgetting to lock the door behing him. He didn't like this room, it reminded him too much bad memories. He undressed himself quickly while avoiding the reflection of his skinny body and then slipped under the shower and let the water flow. Soon after, he dressed himself just as quickly as he had taken his clothes off before. The teenager noticed that the only pants which was still at his size, had become now too big for him. He had lost weight. Again... The young boy rushed to dry his hair and put on his face a slight make-up, wanting to try to look beautiful despite his thinness... one last time. He then went to the kitchen where he found his father who was reading the newspaper, a cup of coffee in his hand. The raven boy made himself a cup of tea, in a hurry, and then sat in front of his father. Neither of them dared to say a word and the only sound that could be heard in the kitchen was the creasing of the pages.

After a short time, his father threw a quick look at his watch, then stood up and went to his son once again. Son who had closed his eyes when he saw him come near him. The man kissed the top of his head and whispered to him a "See you tonight" before leaving their house. The boy did the same a few minutes later. His bag on his shoulder, he walked head bowed all the way to his high school. When he arrived there, he went immediately to his classroom waiting patiently for his first lesson to start. He was the only one in the classroom, the other students were probably outside in the yard, with friends. Him, he had no friends. He had no need to have some. He had no longer need to have friends.

Midday arrived with a merciless slowness. He had only been waiting for this single thing : the lunch break. Taking his bag, he hurriedly left the classroom under the worried gazes of some of his classmates, and then went to the toilets. He hid in one of the cubicle and slid to the floor. There, he let his tears he had kept for hours, running down his cheeks. He was tired. It was too much for him to bear all this without being able to say anything to anyone. The boy slipped his hand in the pocket of his pants and pulled out a metallic object he had taken from the bathroom. He made it at first slide between his fingers before cutting deeply his two wrist. He was keeping on shedding tears while his blood stained his clothes but also the ground. Today, all will be over. He had decided it. He wouldn't suffer any longer, nor cry. His nightmare was about to end. Here and right now. The young man was cold, horribly cold whereas the darkness enveloped him gradually. However, he couldn't hear the scream of dread of the person who had just entered into the room.

* * *

Lying in an uncomfortable bed, his gaze admired wistfully the rain crashing against the window. It was the rain which had awakened him for almost ten minutes now, while he only wanted to sleep. Sleep and never wake up. But everyone forbade him and the bandages he had seen on his wrists when he had woken up proved him once again that sleeping forever was forbidden. She'd had the right though... Mama... It had been now nine years that this tragedy had occured in his now broken family. And he still remembered every detail of this deadly evening. Her body lying in a red puddle, his screams and his tears, his mother's pale face, his trembling hands, his fear of tomorrow. And every day without her became a little more difficult for him. The teenager knew the truth about what had happened in this bathroom. But everybody persisted to tell him another version. He knew what he had seen, he hadn't made up anything, he hadn't lied! So why nobody wanted to believe him? He missed his mother so much! Yesterday he'd gone to her grave and once again, tears were abundant. And now he was awake, he was afraid. Afraid because of all these things too heavy for his fragile shoulders. But he couldn't tell anything. He had forbidden him to talk to anyone. And if the teenager did so, he was told that it was the shock which was making him say such things. That what he had seen wasn't possible. And yet. He was fed up nobody was trusting him. Fed up to fall asleep feeling sick with fear. Fed up of all of this. And once again he was held back. The young boy had already made several suicide attempts, but he woke up every time. He had hoped so much that this time would be the good one! That he wouldn't wake up! Tears of rage and despair ran down his cheeks while he thought about these nine years. If he didn't put an end to this now, his ordeal would continue. Again and again. And he didn't want to go home. She wasn't there so why would he go back in a place supposed to be welcoming but definitely wasn't anymore?

Sitting up weakly, he wrapped his too skinny legs with his arms and laid his head on his knees while continuing to cry. He had to find a solution. And quickly! Find one before the nurses come to see him. He began to be known in this hospital... Throw himself out the window would be useless. He had had enough time to notice that his room wasn't placed high in the building. Second floor. At this height, he wouldn't kill himself. What could he do then?! After he got up, the boy started to pace up and down while biting his fingers. And the more he was trying to find a solution, the more the fear was invading him. He guessed that if he didn't do something, they would send him back home. And his nightmare would then continue. A scream crossed his lips. And he screamed, again and again, to the point of breaking his voice. He screamed while he violently banged his head against the wall. Once. Twice. Again. Again. He felt a trickle of blood running down his forehead but he didn't care. He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to wake up. His shouts quickly warned the nursing staff and when they came in his bedroom, they saw blood everywhere. On the floor. On the wall. On the teenager's clothes. On his skin. The young boy struggled as much as he could when he felt the nurses and doctors make him forcefully lying on his bed, and he was still screaming when his tears mixed with his blood. Then, he felt a light pain in his arm. A pain which made him fall into unconsciousness.

* * *

"Mama! Mama! Look I'm at the top!"

"Don't fidget too much baby or you might fall!"

"Look at me mama!"

"Yes, now slide."

Following his mother's sweet order, the little boy let himself slide down the playground slide, a smile on his lips. He loved to go on the slide, but what he loved even more was to come to the park with just his mother. Only them. When he arrived at the end, he ran to meet his mother but stumbled and fell to the ground a few feet away from her. Like the good mother she was, she rushed to her son and saw that there weren't too much injuries.

"You're hurt angel?"

"Yes..." He replied with tears in his eyes.

"Show me your hands. Oh you just have some scratches. We'll treat them at home. For now, a kiss will do!"

"Mama... Do we have to go back home now?" He asked, disappointed.

"No sweetie. Only when you'll want it."

"Dad will get angry..."

"Don't worry about that, go back to play."

Without further delay, the little boy went back to the playground. Yes, his father was going to be angry when they'll go back home. The day before, his father had forbidden him to go to the park. Because he hadn't been a good boy, he'd told him. The little boy didn't understand why. He was always good with both his parents, even if his father was often scolding him. The very evening, in his bed, he could hear again his parents arguing. But this time, there weren't just cries. The little boy guessed easily that his father beat his mother when he was confined in his bed by fear and couldn't go help his mother.

* * *

He awoke with a start, gripping firmly the bed sheets in which he was lying. It was just a nightmare. Once again. Calming his breathing, he felt a violent headache and he noticed that bandages enwrapped his head. When would he be finally able to close his eyes forever?! What should he do for them to let him go? The teenager sat with troubles, his tears threatening to escape his eyelids at any time, and realized he was no longer in his hospital room. The decor was too cold, empty. A stack of white paint and grey blankets. The boy jumped again when the bedroom door opened, giving way to a nurse all dressed in white and whose hair were lifted up in a bun, giving to her a strict look. But the smile she gave to him when she saw him awake was all but strict.

"Oh you're awake! How do you feel?" She asked him in a soft voice.

"Where... Where am I?"

"In one of Tokyo's psychiatric hospital."

"What?!"

"Your father is the director of a hospital in Mie, isn't he?"

"What's the link?"

"It's your father who decided on your transfer here. He did this for your own good."

"No... It's not true! He never did anything for my own good! Both before and after her death!"

"When you were transferred here, your father was very worried about you," She continued in a calm tone. "He didn't took his eyes of you. Until we put you in this bedroom."

"Stop lying to me! All that interests him is... is..."

"Is?"

"I can't tell you..."

"You can't because there's nothing to say. It's only in your head."

"It's wrong!"

"Don't worry, you're here to heal."

"I don't need to heal, I'm fine!"

"They all say that... Well, get up. I'll take you to your room you're going to share with other young patients."

Swallowing a sob, he obediently followed the nurse who led him through a maze of corridors. After a minute, she made him enter in another room. It was small and had two bunk beds and a simple bed. At the back of the room was a window on which a young boy with short light-brown hair was sitting. The little boy was watching the rain fall in large drops, a smile on his lips and joy in his eyes. He looked so happy that the teenager had no idea of the disease that was gnawing him. The nurse who had accompanied him so far came closer to the little brown-haired, worriedly, then sat in front of him. The oldest of the two teenagers didn't pay attention to the conversation and drew closer to the bed near the door. On this one was laid a suitcase he recognized as his own. Touching it barely with his fingertips, he opened it softly and his eyes became tinged with horror and fear when he saw his clothes. Some of them reminded him too many bad memories. Even here, in this hospital, he wouldn't let him in peace. The raven pressed his hand against his mouth and tried somehow to hold back his tears. However, a little pearl ran down his cheek he hastened to wipe before the nurse could notice it. Besides, she came to him and told him calmly that he could put away his things in the little cupboard near his bed, and reassured him about his wounds, telling him he would quickly heal and that in a short time he could take off his bandages. After her words, she left the room leaving the two boys alone. The raven didn't dare to turn over and face the brown boy and feel his gaze scrutinize his body. He then began to put his clothes in the cupboard, with trembling hands.

"What's your name?" The little boy asked, tearing his gaze away from the weeping willow.

"Yuu. Shiroyama Yuu," He replied in almost a whisper. "And... and you?"

"My name is Takanori! Because of what are you here?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?!"

"Anorexia. But I'd say there's still something else... I didn't want to annoy you..."

"...Depression..." He confessed after several minutes of silence.

"Ah... Like me."

Yuu didn't say anything else, he didn't want to talk to him. He just wanted to be left alone. After he had finished to put away his clothes, he lied down on his bed, pressing his back against the wall, and wrapped his legs with his arms. His gaze remained fixed into space, eyes wide open being once again afraid to close them, while he was listening to Takanori who had begun to sing. The little boy was still at the window and he was again focused on the weeping willow. His singing was for Yuu both soothing and painful. He could feel through the melody all the pain that Takanori felt but also his own. And while playing nervously with the fabric of his pants much too big, he wept silently. He shed countless tears without his roommate noticed it. Long minutes passed by during which he hadn't calm down and after a moment, he felt the matress slightly subside at his sides and a little hand stroke his hair.

"Is it me who makes you cry?" He asked, his voice a little trembling.

"It's nothing..."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No!" Yuu replied abruptly while retightening his arms around his legs. "Don't touch me please!"

"You don't trust me, do you?"

"…"

"We were all like you at first, you know," Takanori tried to reassure him. "None of us is mad. We're only sick... Only sick... Do you want me to tell you about the others?"

"...Yes... please."

Yes, he wanted to know how the other people with whom he would share this bedroom were like. He wanted to know whether he should be afraid of them or not, he wanted to know the sickness that gnawed them all, if they were able to hurt him, to do like him. He didn't want that everything starts again. Yuu stood up straight, sitting back against the wall and his legs against his chest, moving a little away from Takanori. The latter sat cross-legged and seeing that the other boy was staring into space again, began to speak.

"With you, we'll be five here. There, above my bed, it's Akira's one," He told him, showing the bunk bed near the window. "He's like you, he's also anorexic. He will surely help you."

"How could he help me?"

"You'll see! Then, over there in the bed below it's Yutaka's. Him, he is sadistic with paranoid tendencies but you'll see when he's not in one of his fits, he's very nice!" He hurried to add trying to reassure him a little. "And in the top bed, it's Kouyou."

After these words, Takanori stood slowly up and went back to sit at the window. Yuu found the same boy he saw at his arrival in this bedroom. A boy captivated by the weeping willow which made his eyes shine with a thousand stars. A boy who looked happy. Who just seemed to.

"I think he's the most affected," Takanori said after a while. "He took a long time to tell us from what he was suffering. He had confessed to us after one of his fits, and I hope you'll never have the opportunity to attend to one of them. Kouyou has a borderline personality disorder. If you find he seems a little too joyful or too sad, it's normal. He has always been like that."

Then everything was silent again. Takanori had nothing more to say about his roomates to Yuu. As for the raven, he didn't want to talk. He only wondered why his father had decided to lock him up. For him, it was simply impossible. His father would never have done it of his own free will. As if it was really the case, all the time he would spent here, his father wouldn't be able to... He should no longer think about it, he should no longer torture his mind. He was far away from all of this and here, he wouldn't probably undergo all he underwent before. It reassured him a little to think such a thing. Even if he was afraid to be here among all these patients, at least he'd be safe. When he stopped thinking about all these things, he noticed he didn't feel his headache anymore. He had enough of this bandage around his head, he had only one desire: to remove it. And it's what he did. While he put the gauze on the floor, he said to himself that he would probably be reprimanded by the nurse from a while ago. And while he shook his head slightly in order to move back his hair, he thought that his injury wasn't that bad. He had bled a lot, yes, but the wound wasn't really deep. He hadn't noticed any blood stain on the gauze. At worst, he could hide his scar under his bangs.

After some minutes, the bedroom's door opened leaving three boys enter the room. One was blond, the second had hair which color reminded him of caramel, and the third was brown too.

"Taka go away from that window! If the nurses see you..."

"I'm fine Akira," The little brown interrupted him. "I assure you I'm fine."

"Hm let's say I believe you. Oh you're new?" The said Akira asked when he saw Yuu.

"Yes..."

"And what's your name?"

"It's Yuu." Takanori answered in his place.

"Do you have a nickname or something like that?" The other brown boy wanted to know.

"Why?"

"Simple curiosity."

"A... Aoi."

"It's cute! Who gave it to you?" Akira declared with a smile.

"My... My mother..." He replied, feeling tears in his eyes.

"And... How did you do that to your head?"

"I... I..."

"Don't you see you're annoying him with your questions?!" The chestnut-haired boy who was on his bed said angrily.

"Sorry... We didn't want to."

"Okay, well you already know Takanori. I'm Akira, him it's Yutaka and the killjoy over there is Kouyou. Uh, what's wrong?" He asked kindly seeing little tears running down his cheeks.

This question made him fall apart. He had hoped nobody would see him cry, but he was unable to hold back his tears. To want to know who had given him his nickname wasn't a question to ask, but he had felt forced to answer. Yuu took the pillow near him and held it against him. He hid his face in it and continued to shed painful tears, while rocking back and forth. The others boy said no words. Takanori was still in his contemplation of the tree while Kouyou was reading. Only Akira and Yutaka seemed to worry about the tears their new roommate was shedding. Was it their fault? Did they ask a question that they shouldn't have asked? The two boys felt guilty seeing Yuu's body shiver. It was Akira who reacted first. The blond walked slowly to Yuu's bed and kneeling down beside him he stroked his back trying to not scare him, while he whispered to the raven that he was sorry. Feeling a presence near him, Yuu stopped his rockings and managed to calm down over several minutes. He remained another long minutes with his face hidden in his pillow before daring to lift his head. However, he didn't dare to look upon the other boys, showing them all the sadness his eyes were reflecting.

"Can... Can I Yuu?" He asked him, opening his arms for him.

Yuu simply nodded before snuggling himself in Akira's arms. He felt that there was nothing bad in him, he could then give him his trust. Even if Takanori had informed him about the blonde's disease, he had all the same noticed his anorexia. He even seemed a little "bigger" than Yuu. The raven wondered what had happened to him so that he sinks into this disease. To tell the truth, he asked himself the question about all the four boys in this room. Yuu knew perfectly why he became anorexic and depressive. But if he talked to someone, nobody believed him. That's why he decided that if one of the boy would asked him the question, he wouldn't answer. What's the point if everybody calls you a liar?

"Aki, I think he has fallen asleep." Yutaka said as he sat on his own bed.

He was right. Yuu had fallen asleep against the blond-haired, his fingers squeezing slightly the older boy's sweat-shirt. The latter sat more comfortably on the bed while making sure not to wake him and while he tightened a little more one of his arms around Yuu's waist, he stroked his dark hair. Yuu reminded him of him at his arrival in this hospital. He was almost 21 on his admission here, and Takanori and Yutaka were already present in this room. As Yuu, he had cried as soon as he sat on the matress. Being here had finally opened his eyes on the fact he was killing himself. His weight had become very alarming and after having left the hospital, he was directly transferred to the psychiatric hospital. Now, all he wanted was to heal. The young man also wondered what had pushed Yuu to fall into anorexia. Was it the same reason as him ? Maybe. He couldn't confirm it.

Yuu moved in his sleep and snuggled a little more against Akira. For the first time in years, his sleep wasn't disturbed by any nightmare nor dream. And that made to him the most good. He felt safe like that, in this soothing sleep in which he forgot some parts of his past. He couldn't say how long he was sleeping. An hour, maybe more. But after a while, he heard someone calling softly his name while gently stroking his cheek. This gesture reminded him his late mother. She would wake him up too in this way when he was a little boy and by reflex, the teenager put his hands in the back of the person against whom he had fallen asleep, and nestled his face in the crook of his neck. But a slight jolt forced him to wake up. Noticing he had his face only a few inches away from Akira's his cheeks turned pink, making the other boy laugh.

"Stand up little dormouse, we have to go dinner." He said to the raven before getting up and holding out his hands to him.

Yuu stood up from the bed with Akira's help and he noticed that they were only both of them and the chestnut-haired boy in the bedroom. If he had memorized his name correctly, he was Kouyou. And he seemed more older than him. Kouyou was still reading on his bed, lying on his back, and feeling somewhat observed he turned his head from his book and met Yuu's dark orbs. What Yuu could see in those eyes came down to one small word: nothing. He could only see emptiness with an ounce of pain. Was his gaze always like that? And why didn't he came with them to have dinner?

Akira got him out of his thoughts dragging him in the corridors. Yuu followed him silently, trying at the same time to memorize the way and he took the time to better observed the place.

"Why... Why does he not come with us?" Yuu asked hesitantly.

"Kouyou? He's already going to come, when he'd have finished to read his chapter." The blond answered with always this smile on his lips that his roomate couldn't see.

"Hm. And... I guess we're forced... to go at each meal?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I'm not hungry."

"So let me give you an advice," He said looking at the raven. "Eat. Even if the desire is not there, even if it's just a mouthful. Because if they see you're not touching at your plate, especially us, you're going to spend painful minutes. It's up to you if you want to follow my advice or not. The first few days will be hard, I can assure you that. Without wishing to scare you of course."

He guessed very well that it would be difficult for him. Especially during mealtimes. As if it wasn't enough already that he ate hardly anything at home, but if now he was going to be forced... Yuu preferred not to think about it, feeling that little ball of fear in the stomach gnawing him bit by bit. The two boys went down the stairs then at the end of the corridor, walked inside the dining room. Akira took Yuu with him to the back of the room, telling him there was out of the question he sits alone at a table especially during the evening meal. There, they met Yutaka and Takanori sitting face to face. The blond boy sat beside Yutaka and as for Yuu, he preferred to sit at the end of the table, in order to have a view of all the teenagers.

"So Yuu, I'm going to explain you why I have forbidden you to sit at a table alone."

"Akira the big brother: the return!" Kai exclaimed joyfully.

"You did the same thing when I arrived, remember? And him at least he will listen to me! Not like Kouyou... Anyway! So, dinner is the only meal during which we have the right to sit with other patients who don't have the same... disease than us. At midday, we're organized by categories, that means you'll be at the same table as me, with others anorexics. And if I didn't have wanted you to sit alone, it's because they force us somehow to integrate ourselves with other people. Supposedly because another sick person can help us. Well, you know how doctors and nurses are. You've understood everything?"

"Hm."

"I told you Yutaka, him he listens to me!"

"Kouyou's coming." Takanori said who hadn't spoke until now.

The chestnut-haired boy sat down at their table without being concerned about the nurses' gazes. It wasn't good for him if he paid attention to those gazes. He did his best to ignore them and sat at the other end of the table, in front of Yuu. The raven didn't dare to look at him. To tell the truth, he was a little afraid of him, even if he said to himself he had no reason to be. None of his roommates seemed to want to hurt him, at least for the moment. He then kept his head bowed and his gaze fixed on his clenched fists on his thighs. The dishes were quickly distributed and everybody around him had started to eat, speaking in a low voice at some times. He didn't want to eat, and couldn't apply the advice Akira had given to him. He didn't succeed. He had tried several times to take a mouthful of rice, but his throat blocked itself each time he approached the food from his lips.

"Yuu eat something before... Too late." Yutaka said to him.

"Yuu you must eat." A doctor ordered him.

"I... I'm not... hungry..."

"I won't move until you have eaten what I'll judge enough. Now eat."

Yuu took reluctantly a small piece of meat he immediately put in his mouth. He chewed for a longue time with some difficulties and then swallowed. The doctor beside him encouraged the raven to continue while Akira looked at him with sorrow. He too had known this the first night. He knew exactly what Yuu could feel at this moment. But unfortunately, he could do nothing so that the doctor stops his torture. After some minutes which seemed endless, the adult finally left him in peace, and went back to a corner of the room in order to watch over for the good progress of the dinner.

"Yuu... Are you okay?" Akira dared to ask.

"I... I think I... I'm going to vomit..."

And after his words, the teenager stood up and hurried to leave the dinning room. He ran as much as his body could bear it, and pushing a door, he found himself outside, behind the building. Yuu leaned with one hand against the concrete wall and spat everything he had been forced to swallow. It hurt him, burnt him, made his tears poured which had too much ran down his skin. And he cried, again and again during long minutes, under the rain which had still not stopped. Because he was ashamed. Ashamed of being so weak, both physically and mentally. And he was mad at him fo having made him a being so weak.

"It's not very discreet to do that here. They watch the garden." A voice exclaimed softly. A voice he didn't recognized immediately.

"It's not what you think..." Yuu weakly replied.

"I know you didn't make yourself vomit. I'm not stupid! Akira has also vomited the first night... He told me. It's normal you feel sick. They force you and your stomach isn't accustomed to receive so much, so it rejects all."

"What... are you doing here?" He asked, daring to look at the other boy.

"I came to get you. Right, can we go back inside? I don't want to get sick because of the rain. Come."

The chestnut-haired boy took him by his wrist, making him moan in pain, and forced him to go back inside. Yuu didn't say a word as they walked, choosing to look at the ground rather than to say anything at all. On the way, they met some nurses who glanced at them inquiring looks. Kouyou then quickened the pace of his footsteps and the two boys were quickly back in their bedroom. Empty. The tallest boy showed him a tiny bathroom behind a door and taking his pajamas Yuu rushed into the small room. It wasn't a lot. A sink and a little white piece of furniture which contained towels and flannels. Nothing more. Yuu put his clothes on the furniture and then undressed. He noticed all his limbs were trembling for an unknown reason. The young boy put on his pajamas, then on top of it his pullover before going to rince his mouth and dry a minimum his rain-soaked hair. When he went back in the bedroom, the other boys were back. Embarrassed he didn't look at them and hurried to slip between the sheets, pulling the cover up to his mouth.

"Yuu," Akira, who had sat beside the raven, called him softly. "You'll have to go the infirmary tomorrow morning, for a medical examination. I'll come with you... Sorry for what happened earlier..."

"It's not your fault."

The blond contented himself with these few words and went back on his own bed where he resumed his conversation with Yutaka. Takanori, him, seemed already sleeping. As for Kouyou, he was reading again, but looked out of the corner of his eye Yuu at some times. The raven kept his eyes opened, listening unintentionally to snatches of the conversation between the two teenagers. Whereas the minutes passed, tiredness took hold of the boy and he fell asleep, exhausted by this highly charged day.

~~~~~~

A/N: Here's the first chapter ! Hope you'll like it :) And it's absolutely normal if there isn't yet full of details about each characters, places, reasons of their disease and pain,... All this will come in the following chapters :3

Next: 2/??

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