numb. i don't feel anything anymore.
To be attached, is to be hurt so much.
I've, in short, become numb. To the pain of being attached to certain people. It's not their fault-- rather, it's mine.It's my fault for being attached. My fault for thinking that I'm, lack of other words, special to them. My fault for thinking that I wouldn't be pushed aside so carelessly. I laugh at my stupidity sometimes. I really should have seen this sooner. I, at least, should be thankful that I've somewhat been prepared for something like this. I just didn't know it'd hurt this badly.
This happens. And of course, me reacting like this is ridiculous. But, I just can't help it. All I can really do is bury myself in blankets as I will the reality to go away. I also need to do the most important thing.
de-attach myself.
Because, from what i've learned in the past, And now, is that... Attachment leads to expectations. Expectations, lead to disappointment. Disappointment leads to hurt.
And really, who wants to be hurt ?
------->
I know.
I know that I'm being utterly stupid about this.
That I'm overreacting.
That I'm just thinking useless thoughts.
That attachment does notlead to hurt, one way or another.
That instead it leads to happiness because of being able to have someone to depend on, and vice versa.
But what happens when you risk your heart for someone who just mindlessly destroys it.
Shatters it.
And in the end, becomes tiny pieces that will take years to put back together again ?
I suppose, that's life. Making mistakes, trusting people, feeling pain, feeling happiness, taking risks, learning from the mistakes aand making new ones.
And I guess, there's nothing much I can do about it.
Other than bury my numb heart under my warm blankets in hopes of melting the now iced heart of mine.
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I've, in short, become numb. To the pain of being attached to certain people. It's not their fault-- rather, it's mine.It's my fault for being attached. My fault for thinking that I'm, lack of other words, special to them. My fault for thinking that I wouldn't be pushed aside so carelessly. I laugh at my stupidity sometimes. I really should have seen this sooner. I, at least, should be thankful that I've somewhat been prepared for something like this. I just didn't know it'd hurt this badly.
This happens. And of course, me reacting like this is ridiculous. But, I just can't help it. All I can really do is bury myself in blankets as I will the reality to go away. I also need to do the most important thing.
de-attach myself.
Because, from what i've learned in the past, And now, is that... Attachment leads to expectations. Expectations, lead to disappointment. Disappointment leads to hurt.
And really, who wants to be hurt ?
------->
I know.
I know that I'm being utterly stupid about this.
That I'm overreacting.
That I'm just thinking useless thoughts.
That attachment does notlead to hurt, one way or another.
That instead it leads to happiness because of being able to have someone to depend on, and vice versa.
But what happens when you risk your heart for someone who just mindlessly destroys it.
Shatters it.
And in the end, becomes tiny pieces that will take years to put back together again ?
I suppose, that's life. Making mistakes, trusting people, feeling pain, feeling happiness, taking risks, learning from the mistakes aand making new ones.
And I guess, there's nothing much I can do about it.
Other than bury my numb heart under my warm blankets in hopes of melting the now iced heart of mine.
--------------------------------------------------