These Scars of Mine (10a/13)
Title: These Scars of Mine-Chapter 10
Fandom: Inception
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Don't own anything.
Warning: No warnings that I can think of at the moment
Author's Note: Don't own anything, except for my mistakes. Also, I have decided that I am just gonna finish posting this story on here. Then, anything else will be posted on AO3.
Eames was confused, there was really nothing else to it. Everything had seemed just fine earlier and then randomly, Arthur went ape shit and kicked everyone out of the party.
Now, Eames knew he should do exactly what Arthur said and just leave and let things cool off for a few days. But Eames couldn’t just do that. He wanted answers.
He ran after Arthur and surprisingly, Arthur let him follow, either that or Arthur wasn’t really paying attention to his surroundings. Eames followed him all the way to his room. Arthur slammed the door shut but Eames walked right in anyways. He knew this was dangerous territory but he deserved to know why Arthur was acting like this, didn’t he?
Once he shut the door Arthur turned around and glared at him.
“What are you doing here? I told you to leave.” Eames sighed.
“I want to know why you threw a big hissy fit out there.” Eames asked stepping forward. Arthur laughed.
“Are you being serious right now?” Arthur hissed out.
“Yes. You were fine at the beginning of the night. What the hell happened?”
“If you don’t know what you did wrong than you are really more stupid than I thought.” So, this was about him.
“What? Arthur…”
“Just go. Please. I don’t want to deal with this right now.” Eames took a deep breath. Again, he should probably just leave. But he was always a little bit stubborn.
“Arthur, come on. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong…”
“Of course you don’t. You never think you do anything wrong. Maybe that is your problem.”
“What?” Eames asked. Seriously, where was all this coming from?
“Fine. Gabriella.” Eames eyes widened. “Gabriella is the problem.”
“What? Gabriella. Arthur she is nothing…”
“Really? Nothing? She is nothing to you? It didn’t look like nothing when she clung to you all night, when she danced with you, and was it nothing when she fucking kissed you!” Arthur shouted and Eames actually stepped back and remained silent. “Yeah, try explaining yourself out of that one.”
“It wasn’t what you think.” Eames said slowly.
“Oh really, please, explain to me the error of my thinking process.”
“Look. I don’t like Gabriella. I have told you that countless times. Tonight is no different.”
“Oh really?” Eames knew that Arthur wasn’t buying it. But he was telling the truth.
“Yes, really. Saito approached me before the party and asked me if I could play nice with Gabriella. There were potential clients there and he wanted to make sure that we impressed them.”
“Why would you need to impress him? Why Gabriella?” Eames sighed.
“Saito is preparing for her new position. Our departments are going to merge and he wanted some good PR on it. Gabriella went a little overboard with the task but...”
“But you did not fight it Eames.” Eames could tell that Arthur was hurting. His voice was cracking and he had a very sad look on his face. It was very boyish and it made Eames want to cry.
“I know. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”
“Damn right you weren’t thinking. This is my house Eames. I didn’t even want her here. I didn’t even know she had been invited. How do you think I feel when I look down and see you dancing with someone else when you should be dancing with me? I can’t do things like that anymore. I can’t go into public now and be with you or show you off. I can’t even dance with you in my own house at my best friend’s party.”
“Arthur…it doesn’t matter. Things like that don’t bother me.”
“Oh I think it does. I think you got lost in the idea of being in a normal relationship with a normal person, and you know what Eames, I think you enjoyed it.” Eames was starting to get mad at him now. Arthur had no right saying that about him. Accusing him of all these things. Eames had given Arthur a second chance why can’t he do the same?
“Fine. You know what. I did enjoy it. I liked the idea of being able to show my partner around and all that. But really, what am I supposed to do. How else am I to enjoy myself? Especially when you are supposed to die in two months and don’t even have the guts to tell me yourself.” Eames saw Arthur tense up and he knew he had made a serious mistake.
Eames really should have just gone home when he had the chance.
“What did you just say?” Arthur hissed out as he just stared back at him. Eames didn’t respond. He knew Arthur had heard him and he was not going to repeat it again. “How do you know that?” Eames just looked at him. Arthur then gave a little chuckle and Eames knew that this was not going to be good. “I think the better question is, how long have you known about it?”
“Arthur…”
“My guess is that you knew last night, and most likely quite a bit before that.”
“Arthur, don’t…”
“Don’t what? You knew I was dying. All this time. You played friendly with me and made me….” Eames felt his heart drop when Arthur’s voice cracked again.
“Arthur… come on…”
“No. These past few months were all just lies. Did Dom and Ariadne put you up to this? To try and make my last moments happy?”
“No Arthur. Don’t be like that. I really do like you…”
“I don’t need your pity. I never did. And if I wanted a pity fuck I’m sure I could find someone who would do it for me. You are the last person I would want to pity me.”
“Arthur. This isn’t like you…”
“Isn’t like me?” Arthur growled out. “Since when did you ever really know me?” Eames just remained silent. “You knew nothing of me before Yusuf tasked you to do the job. That is the only reason you come. That is the only reason you still continue to come.”
“This is not you, Arthur. You are better than this, to come to silly conclusions like this. I know the real you.”
“No. You don’t. You see what I look like? This is the real me. Mal just put it on the outside for the world to see.” Eames just stared at him.
“Arthur…” He whispered, but Arthur just ignored him.
“Now take you and your stupid pity out of my house.”
“Arthur…be reasonable about this.”
“You are not welcome in this house anymore….”
“Arthur, come on. Your medicine…”
“I no longer need the medicine, so your services are no longer necessary.”
“But Arthur, the pain…”
“Is none of your concern. Nor was it ever. Good night Mr. Eames.” Arthur said, dismissing him. Eames didn’t move as Arthur turned around.
“Arthur…”
“Get out!” Arthur shouted. Eames looked down. Well, that was is. Don’t say he didn’t try. Eames turned and left the room without another word.
On his way out he saw Ariadne and Dom, but he didn’t say anything to them. There was nothing left to say. He just left feeling more alone than he had ever felt before.
He needed to go home and just sleep off this night and hope that better ones were in his future.
+++
Eames didn’t leave his bed for the next few days. It wasn’t until Yusuf came over, completely sleep deprived, and dragged his sorry ass out of bed that he actually left his bed.
So now, Eames sat at his kitchen table, tea mug in hand, with Yusuf just staring at him, waiting for an explanation that Eames did not want to tell him.
“So, what’s wrong?” Eames took a small sip.
“I think the better question is what makes you think that something is wrong.”
“Eames, I am not completely stupid, alright. You never mope around your house. So, something is definitely up, and by the nice voicemail I received from Arthur yesterday, I am assuming it has something to do with him.”
“He called you?”
“Yes. But I wasn’t home. All his voicemail said was that my medicine was no longer needed and he thanks me for what I did and that I will be receiving my pay for it in the mail soon.”
“Of course.” Eames grunted out.
“What the hell happened? I thought everything was fine. You sounded so happy the other day.”
“Everything was fine until I made a total ass of myself.” Yusuf sighed and sat down across from him.
“What did you do?” Eames was silent until Yusuf kicked him under the table and forced him to tell the story.
“I went to the party and everything was going great. And then Saito showed up and made me play nice with Gabriella.” Yusuf let out a small sigh. “Don’t judge.”
“Sorry, but when it comes to her I can’t help but judge you.”
“Look, I had no intention of anything happening. I thought it would be simple. Just play nice. But she took it way too far. She got all couple-like and there was nothing I could do. If I threw a fit Saito would see and I would get fired.”
“So, Arthur saw this and got all mad.”
“Yes. He saw us dance and…”
“And what Eames?”
“She kissed me.”
“Oh Eames.”
“Yeah. Tell me about it.”
“You messed up bad. In his house too?”
“I didn’t think he was going to watch me like a hawk?”
“Eames, imagine if you were him. What else do you expect him to do in his own house when there is a party going on for his best friend? A party he can’t even go to.”
“I don’t know!” Eames shouted. “I honestly don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I was with Gabriella and everything just seemed to fit, you know? Like, this was how a couple was supposed to be. I should be able to show off the person I’m with. Everything just felt right for that one moment. But I knew Yusuf, I knew that Gabriella was not the one I wanted to show off. It was just the idea that appealed to me.” Yusuf gave a brief nod like he knew what he was talking about.
“So, what happened?”
“Arthur got mad and made everyone leave. He made a big spectacle of himself and scared everyone. So, naturally, I followed him to see what was wrong and he told me he never wanted to see me again. And I left.” Eames didn’t feel like going into details about Arthur saying that he was pitying him and that it was just a pity fuck.
Eames hadn’t really told anyone that they had been together in that way. He wasn’t quite sure how people would react to it all.
“Right. So, what are you going to do about it?” Yusuf asked and Eames just looked at him like he was crazy.
“What do you mean? Arthur doesn’t want me anymore. I am just going to leave him alone and let him die in peace.”
“You think this is all going to end when he dies?”
“Yes.”
“Eames. You have feelings for him, I can tell. This will only get worse when he dies because then comes all the guilt and regret.”
“I think you overestimate my feelings in this matter. Why should I care about Arthur? He has lied to me. He thought I pitied him when we were together. All he saw was the bad in me. It was like I was unable to do well in his eyes. It was like that before he met me and this just proves that it is still like this. I don’t need someone like that in my life. I need someone who can trust me. I don’t need someone like Arthur.”
“Eames. You don’t mean that.” Eames just stood up, ignoring what he had said.
“I’m going back to bed. You know the way out.” Eames said quietly as he made his way back to his room.
And for the first time in a while, Eames felt truly lost.
+++
Eames skipped out on work the whole next week. He made up the excuse to Saito that he had caught a really bad cold and could barely leave his bed.
At least one part of that statement was right. Eames could not find the will to leave his bed. All he could think about was that night and all the things he could have done differently and all the things he could have said to not have Arthur mad at him.
He couldn’t admit it out loud, but in his mind he knew that he was in the wrong.
Yusuf came by the check on him every day to make sure he hadn’t died or anything. Yusuf also told him that he had talked to Arthur, trying to get him to reconsider about the medicine.
But Arthur didn’t want it. And Eames knew that. He wouldn’t budge on it. Give it a while and Dom or Ariadne would call Yusuf and have him bring Arthur a dose. But Arthur wouldn’t be the one to ask for it. He didn’t last time and he won’t again.
Arthur was just doing the same thing Eames was. Moping. Arthur was hurt as was Eames. But give it time and things would go back to normal. At least they would for Eames. For Arthur, not so much.
But at least Saito fell for his lie. Eames would be moping a lot more if he had lost his job too.
Truth is Eames didn’t know what to think. That is why he was moping, as Yusuf put it. He should feel relieved to be away from Arthur. He didn’t need to be attached to someone who was just going to die in a few months. He did not need to deal with that. He didn’t want to deal with that.
But something told Eames that he would feel it anyways. Yusuf was right. He was already too involved with Arthur to not be affected. And it sucked.
Eames had tried not to become attached, but Arthur is just Arthur. He is amazing. Arthur was everything Eames had ever wanted.
And Eames was positive that he loved Arthur.
But now that he knew that, he could never tell Arthur. There was no way now that Arthur loved him. Not after what he had done.
Eames was screwed, no matter what.
+++
Part 2 Here
Fandom: Inception
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Don't own anything.
Warning: No warnings that I can think of at the moment
Author's Note: Don't own anything, except for my mistakes. Also, I have decided that I am just gonna finish posting this story on here. Then, anything else will be posted on AO3.
Eames was confused, there was really nothing else to it. Everything had seemed just fine earlier and then randomly, Arthur went ape shit and kicked everyone out of the party.
Now, Eames knew he should do exactly what Arthur said and just leave and let things cool off for a few days. But Eames couldn’t just do that. He wanted answers.
He ran after Arthur and surprisingly, Arthur let him follow, either that or Arthur wasn’t really paying attention to his surroundings. Eames followed him all the way to his room. Arthur slammed the door shut but Eames walked right in anyways. He knew this was dangerous territory but he deserved to know why Arthur was acting like this, didn’t he?
Once he shut the door Arthur turned around and glared at him.
“What are you doing here? I told you to leave.” Eames sighed.
“I want to know why you threw a big hissy fit out there.” Eames asked stepping forward. Arthur laughed.
“Are you being serious right now?” Arthur hissed out.
“Yes. You were fine at the beginning of the night. What the hell happened?”
“If you don’t know what you did wrong than you are really more stupid than I thought.” So, this was about him.
“What? Arthur…”
“Just go. Please. I don’t want to deal with this right now.” Eames took a deep breath. Again, he should probably just leave. But he was always a little bit stubborn.
“Arthur, come on. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong…”
“Of course you don’t. You never think you do anything wrong. Maybe that is your problem.”
“What?” Eames asked. Seriously, where was all this coming from?
“Fine. Gabriella.” Eames eyes widened. “Gabriella is the problem.”
“What? Gabriella. Arthur she is nothing…”
“Really? Nothing? She is nothing to you? It didn’t look like nothing when she clung to you all night, when she danced with you, and was it nothing when she fucking kissed you!” Arthur shouted and Eames actually stepped back and remained silent. “Yeah, try explaining yourself out of that one.”
“It wasn’t what you think.” Eames said slowly.
“Oh really, please, explain to me the error of my thinking process.”
“Look. I don’t like Gabriella. I have told you that countless times. Tonight is no different.”
“Oh really?” Eames knew that Arthur wasn’t buying it. But he was telling the truth.
“Yes, really. Saito approached me before the party and asked me if I could play nice with Gabriella. There were potential clients there and he wanted to make sure that we impressed them.”
“Why would you need to impress him? Why Gabriella?” Eames sighed.
“Saito is preparing for her new position. Our departments are going to merge and he wanted some good PR on it. Gabriella went a little overboard with the task but...”
“But you did not fight it Eames.” Eames could tell that Arthur was hurting. His voice was cracking and he had a very sad look on his face. It was very boyish and it made Eames want to cry.
“I know. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”
“Damn right you weren’t thinking. This is my house Eames. I didn’t even want her here. I didn’t even know she had been invited. How do you think I feel when I look down and see you dancing with someone else when you should be dancing with me? I can’t do things like that anymore. I can’t go into public now and be with you or show you off. I can’t even dance with you in my own house at my best friend’s party.”
“Arthur…it doesn’t matter. Things like that don’t bother me.”
“Oh I think it does. I think you got lost in the idea of being in a normal relationship with a normal person, and you know what Eames, I think you enjoyed it.” Eames was starting to get mad at him now. Arthur had no right saying that about him. Accusing him of all these things. Eames had given Arthur a second chance why can’t he do the same?
“Fine. You know what. I did enjoy it. I liked the idea of being able to show my partner around and all that. But really, what am I supposed to do. How else am I to enjoy myself? Especially when you are supposed to die in two months and don’t even have the guts to tell me yourself.” Eames saw Arthur tense up and he knew he had made a serious mistake.
Eames really should have just gone home when he had the chance.
“What did you just say?” Arthur hissed out as he just stared back at him. Eames didn’t respond. He knew Arthur had heard him and he was not going to repeat it again. “How do you know that?” Eames just looked at him. Arthur then gave a little chuckle and Eames knew that this was not going to be good. “I think the better question is, how long have you known about it?”
“Arthur…”
“My guess is that you knew last night, and most likely quite a bit before that.”
“Arthur, don’t…”
“Don’t what? You knew I was dying. All this time. You played friendly with me and made me….” Eames felt his heart drop when Arthur’s voice cracked again.
“Arthur… come on…”
“No. These past few months were all just lies. Did Dom and Ariadne put you up to this? To try and make my last moments happy?”
“No Arthur. Don’t be like that. I really do like you…”
“I don’t need your pity. I never did. And if I wanted a pity fuck I’m sure I could find someone who would do it for me. You are the last person I would want to pity me.”
“Arthur. This isn’t like you…”
“Isn’t like me?” Arthur growled out. “Since when did you ever really know me?” Eames just remained silent. “You knew nothing of me before Yusuf tasked you to do the job. That is the only reason you come. That is the only reason you still continue to come.”
“This is not you, Arthur. You are better than this, to come to silly conclusions like this. I know the real you.”
“No. You don’t. You see what I look like? This is the real me. Mal just put it on the outside for the world to see.” Eames just stared at him.
“Arthur…” He whispered, but Arthur just ignored him.
“Now take you and your stupid pity out of my house.”
“Arthur…be reasonable about this.”
“You are not welcome in this house anymore….”
“Arthur, come on. Your medicine…”
“I no longer need the medicine, so your services are no longer necessary.”
“But Arthur, the pain…”
“Is none of your concern. Nor was it ever. Good night Mr. Eames.” Arthur said, dismissing him. Eames didn’t move as Arthur turned around.
“Arthur…”
“Get out!” Arthur shouted. Eames looked down. Well, that was is. Don’t say he didn’t try. Eames turned and left the room without another word.
On his way out he saw Ariadne and Dom, but he didn’t say anything to them. There was nothing left to say. He just left feeling more alone than he had ever felt before.
He needed to go home and just sleep off this night and hope that better ones were in his future.
+++
Eames didn’t leave his bed for the next few days. It wasn’t until Yusuf came over, completely sleep deprived, and dragged his sorry ass out of bed that he actually left his bed.
So now, Eames sat at his kitchen table, tea mug in hand, with Yusuf just staring at him, waiting for an explanation that Eames did not want to tell him.
“So, what’s wrong?” Eames took a small sip.
“I think the better question is what makes you think that something is wrong.”
“Eames, I am not completely stupid, alright. You never mope around your house. So, something is definitely up, and by the nice voicemail I received from Arthur yesterday, I am assuming it has something to do with him.”
“He called you?”
“Yes. But I wasn’t home. All his voicemail said was that my medicine was no longer needed and he thanks me for what I did and that I will be receiving my pay for it in the mail soon.”
“Of course.” Eames grunted out.
“What the hell happened? I thought everything was fine. You sounded so happy the other day.”
“Everything was fine until I made a total ass of myself.” Yusuf sighed and sat down across from him.
“What did you do?” Eames was silent until Yusuf kicked him under the table and forced him to tell the story.
“I went to the party and everything was going great. And then Saito showed up and made me play nice with Gabriella.” Yusuf let out a small sigh. “Don’t judge.”
“Sorry, but when it comes to her I can’t help but judge you.”
“Look, I had no intention of anything happening. I thought it would be simple. Just play nice. But she took it way too far. She got all couple-like and there was nothing I could do. If I threw a fit Saito would see and I would get fired.”
“So, Arthur saw this and got all mad.”
“Yes. He saw us dance and…”
“And what Eames?”
“She kissed me.”
“Oh Eames.”
“Yeah. Tell me about it.”
“You messed up bad. In his house too?”
“I didn’t think he was going to watch me like a hawk?”
“Eames, imagine if you were him. What else do you expect him to do in his own house when there is a party going on for his best friend? A party he can’t even go to.”
“I don’t know!” Eames shouted. “I honestly don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I was with Gabriella and everything just seemed to fit, you know? Like, this was how a couple was supposed to be. I should be able to show off the person I’m with. Everything just felt right for that one moment. But I knew Yusuf, I knew that Gabriella was not the one I wanted to show off. It was just the idea that appealed to me.” Yusuf gave a brief nod like he knew what he was talking about.
“So, what happened?”
“Arthur got mad and made everyone leave. He made a big spectacle of himself and scared everyone. So, naturally, I followed him to see what was wrong and he told me he never wanted to see me again. And I left.” Eames didn’t feel like going into details about Arthur saying that he was pitying him and that it was just a pity fuck.
Eames hadn’t really told anyone that they had been together in that way. He wasn’t quite sure how people would react to it all.
“Right. So, what are you going to do about it?” Yusuf asked and Eames just looked at him like he was crazy.
“What do you mean? Arthur doesn’t want me anymore. I am just going to leave him alone and let him die in peace.”
“You think this is all going to end when he dies?”
“Yes.”
“Eames. You have feelings for him, I can tell. This will only get worse when he dies because then comes all the guilt and regret.”
“I think you overestimate my feelings in this matter. Why should I care about Arthur? He has lied to me. He thought I pitied him when we were together. All he saw was the bad in me. It was like I was unable to do well in his eyes. It was like that before he met me and this just proves that it is still like this. I don’t need someone like that in my life. I need someone who can trust me. I don’t need someone like Arthur.”
“Eames. You don’t mean that.” Eames just stood up, ignoring what he had said.
“I’m going back to bed. You know the way out.” Eames said quietly as he made his way back to his room.
And for the first time in a while, Eames felt truly lost.
+++
Eames skipped out on work the whole next week. He made up the excuse to Saito that he had caught a really bad cold and could barely leave his bed.
At least one part of that statement was right. Eames could not find the will to leave his bed. All he could think about was that night and all the things he could have done differently and all the things he could have said to not have Arthur mad at him.
He couldn’t admit it out loud, but in his mind he knew that he was in the wrong.
Yusuf came by the check on him every day to make sure he hadn’t died or anything. Yusuf also told him that he had talked to Arthur, trying to get him to reconsider about the medicine.
But Arthur didn’t want it. And Eames knew that. He wouldn’t budge on it. Give it a while and Dom or Ariadne would call Yusuf and have him bring Arthur a dose. But Arthur wouldn’t be the one to ask for it. He didn’t last time and he won’t again.
Arthur was just doing the same thing Eames was. Moping. Arthur was hurt as was Eames. But give it time and things would go back to normal. At least they would for Eames. For Arthur, not so much.
But at least Saito fell for his lie. Eames would be moping a lot more if he had lost his job too.
Truth is Eames didn’t know what to think. That is why he was moping, as Yusuf put it. He should feel relieved to be away from Arthur. He didn’t need to be attached to someone who was just going to die in a few months. He did not need to deal with that. He didn’t want to deal with that.
But something told Eames that he would feel it anyways. Yusuf was right. He was already too involved with Arthur to not be affected. And it sucked.
Eames had tried not to become attached, but Arthur is just Arthur. He is amazing. Arthur was everything Eames had ever wanted.
And Eames was positive that he loved Arthur.
But now that he knew that, he could never tell Arthur. There was no way now that Arthur loved him. Not after what he had done.
Eames was screwed, no matter what.
+++
Part 2 Here