Back, again.
I don’t know where to start, one year and a half is too long a time and a lot of things have happened.
This post is super long, so I'll put everything under a cut.
- First, I’ve had some health problems. It’s been some time since I last felt completely fine. Some times I had throat problems, other times were my eyes or some other thing; but for the last year or so I’ve been feeling worse and worse and things that came and went before, now stayed permanent. This scared me a little and I was tired of not feeling well. I had headaches quite often (migraine type of headaches), then my eyesight became worse, I started having splinter hemorhages under my nails, my throat problems became permanent and I think they are starting to affect my joints (among other things); I have a lot of wrist/thumb/palm pains and discomfort in my hands; I also have an uncomfortable sensation in my ribs, it feels like there’s something sliding under them when I bend forwards or sit hunching a little. Things like that.
Two months ago I decided that I couldn’t go on like that anymore and I started getting doctors appointments. As of now I’ve gone to the ophthalmologist (he told me that I’m starting to develop presbyopia): I had to adjust my reading glasses and he told me that I might need to start wearing them all the time (or even start wearing multifocal glases or contact lenses because can’t have corrective surgery).
I’ve also asked my doctor for a blood test to check my thyroid levels (my sister has thyroid problems) and my liver (because of the “ribs thing”) and anything else that could show up there. But I still have to make appointments with a dermatologist, a traumatologist, an otorhinolaryngologist and have some alletgy tests done.
It’s going to be fun. :S
- Second thing. My parents had a major fight in spring last year.
It started with my mother getting ill, she kind of linked one illnes after another for a few months. It was nothing serious but uncomfortable enough to make her very irritable.
So one day they fought worse than usual (because of a silly thing) and my mom packed her things and said she was leaving for good, she even bought a train ticket to Alicante (where my grandma’s house is). Since my dad was completely mute and dind’t even try to talk to her, she was even more sure of her decision [he was not okay with her leaving but his pride made it very difficult for him to talk].
Well, the night before her departure she woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and she discovered that she couldn’t walk because she had severe vertigo, she coulnd’t even stand without falling over and said the room was spinning. In the end she couldn’t go anywhere like that.
Once it was clear that she was staying I decided that I was not about to put up with a tense atmosphere any longer because it was tiring and very stressing so I kind of had to get them to sit and talk things out, with me acting as a translator of sorts for both of them.
Over the following months sometimes problems would flare up and I’d have to intervene and play therapist, which is not nice at all. I don’t want to get involved but sometimes I find myself having to translate for both of them what the other means. When something like this happens I try to make myself busy so I’m not available to my mom to speak about her problems because it stresses me out and I don’t want to hear it, but at the same time I feel guilty because I realize that she doesn’t have many people to talk about her frustrations. I don’t like to feel forced to bear with the discomfort that this situation causes me.
At one point I even thought about finishing my studies quickly, forgo my Masters and get a job so I could leave the house and all the bad vibes behind.
In the end things are working kind of well, it’s been a few months since the last real fight, they seem to be talking more and life is becoming a bit easier. Everything is a ticking bomb here and I can’t fully relax, but things are going better. Part of that is the new projects that we have in the house and as a family: we got hooked on Downton Abbey (not joking, we’ve watched it five times already) and have, since the first time we watched it, started to repair my mom’s trousseau and setting beautiful tables for meals, and changing Ikea’s furniture for other pieces of furniture that we’ve been buying in antique fairs... things like that. This seems to be a common interest that doesn’t give them fighting material.
The thing I realized though was that, while I wasn’t looking forward to my mom leaving home, I was kind of making plans for my life here without her and was happy with them. Sometimes she poses an uncomfortable presence and is quick to assume what you are saying or mean when you say something and that creates tense moments. But... such is life.
I do feel guilty for being happy about losing sight of her.
In the end I’m happy with the result.
- Now, about my studies. I graduated in february this year and, since I have a few months until I can turn in my application for the Masters, I’ve been studying languages. Next week I have my English C2 exam and also a Portuguese A1 exam. Not too long ago I decided that I might pursue a career in diplomacy in the future so I will need some language skills. I’m enjoying both of the clases a lot. I can’t believe myself, when I was in school I hated languages, I barely even passed the English subject and now here I am, starting to study another language. :)
- I haven’t been buying any mangas or other similar things lately because I had other things to focus on, so I’ve been doing other type of shopping: notebooks (like the Traveler’s Notebook and paperblanks), pens (I love pens, specially my Fisher Spacepen) and dinner services, table linnens and bone china cups. I haven’t been using my laptop much lately either (only to add fanfics to my ebook reader) so I’m really behind in a lot of mangas and animes.
I had to change my mobile phone a few months ago because the old Samung Galaxy Note3 I was using started acting up. None of the 6 computers at home was able to connect to the phone; one time I was uploading to my Google Drive account all the pictures I had just taken of my most recent mangas to post here, when the phone went crazy and DELETED ALL of the pictures in BOTH the phone and Google Drive.
It was a royal pain in the ass to take all the pictures again, specially with everything going on at home, so I just stopped with the mangas altogether and focused on other things.
Just yesterday I decided to start buying/reading manga again, and so I collected all the notes I wrote in my notebooks to compose this post and, hopefully, in a few days, I’ll take pictures of the last mangas I bought almost a year ago and upload them here again. I have a new order from CDJapan coming right now, too. ^^
- I’m also planning my next tattoo(s), I’ve been wanting to get a lighthouse tattoo for some time (I was born and raised in a lighthouse and I love them) but I can’t find the desing I want. I like really simple, sketchy desings but they are difficult to find (or at least I don’t like the ones I’ve found). There are some other things that I want to get tattooed like a prehistoric drawing, Draco’s constellation, a small dragon and a quote written in gallifreyan. Too bad I’m pants at drawing, I’d try to desing them myself otherwise.
Let’s see how that goes!
Well, that all for now, sorry for the wall of text and all the ramblings, it must be very annoying. Also, I haven't checked grammar, spelling or anything, and aparently I've forgotten how to use livejournal, so I hope ithe text is easy to understand even if it has mistakes. :)